Anyone using Brokeback as a means of coming out?

[littledarlin]

I'm curious to hear stories about anyone who has convinced family members or friends to see Brokeback instead of discussing their sexuality.  In other words, have you used Brokeback to come out?

My predicament is that I am out and open to everyone I know, except for a few co-workers and random others.  My Dad knows I am gay and has never been OK with it, so it's just something we don't discuss.  He knows my boyfriend, he's civil, he tries to respect it.  It's beyond denial though, because he knows, but he just chooses to ignore it.

I let him borrow movies all the time, and I've been thinking about giving him BBM to watch as a way of reaching out to him.  We don't get along very well, for many reasons other than me being gay, but I feel like if we could just get the conversation going, that we might be able to reach a better understanding. 

So has anyone been in a similar situation?  Is this making BBM too personal?  Should I just bite the bullet and confront him?  I appreciate your input.

[isabelle]

What I am about to say might make me appear like a nut case. Well, I guess that wouldn't be too far from the truth .
I am currently living with a man, have been for 7 years, but am not exclusively drawn to men. Have lived with 2 women too (at different times ). I had 2 affairs with men before meeting the present one in my life, to whom I mentioned being also attracted to women, and that made them run like the wind. So although my current BF has been a great love in my life, I chose never to tell HIM. And found it did not make me love him less.
But I really wish now he had agreed to come watch BBM with me. I told him "it is important to me that you see it". He has consistently refused, but finally said he'd see it when we get the DVD. Only now, I feel like it is a bit late. But that's another story.
I did tell a colleague of mine about me after I talked her into seeing BBM; that's because her daughter had just come out to her hubby and her, and they were both upset. The father worse than her, and he refused to go and watch the film.
Sorry I rambled on like this. But yes, I have used BBM this way too.

[Brown Eyes]

I'm already out to most of the main people in my life (friends, etc.).  My parents know, but we never talk about it, which causes a good deal of tension.  I know they haven't seen BBM even though they both are major, major movie fans.  And, yes, I find this rather insulting.  In some ways I wish they would see it so that it might open up a new possible avenue for communication with them.  But, I'm not going to push it.   
I most definitely don't want the movie to be tainted for me by having to deal with my parents and whatever awkwardness might ensue.

In many ways, even though I'm quite out these days... I still see this film as a huge cautionary tale about the dangers of the closet and the "un-lived life", etc.  Those of you who are gay probably understand the idea that coming out to yourself is a long, ongoing process and I guess this movie has a lot to do with that for me.

My reaction to the movie is more personal and introspective.  I sort of don't mind keeping it a private thing in my non-online life.  Even my best gay friend doesn't know that I've seen the movie 5 times in the theatre and watch it all the time at home.  I love Ang Lee's nice little comment in one of the "special feature" interviews on the DVD.  He describes the situation between Jack and Ennis as "private and precious and something they cannot articulate."  Which, in a kooky way relates to how I see the film.

[Lynne]

As it seems to be true to most everyone here, BBM launched a great deal of self-analysis, introspection, etc. within myself

 My turning point, however, was not so much a movie moment, but the 'Orientation Poll' here at BetterMost.  I could not, in good conscience, check the 'heterosexual female' box.

I've been reviewing people I've loved, and people who've loved me, and the truth is definitely not at either end of the spectrum for me.  Although I'm living a hetero life for the most part, and I've never had a long-term relationship with someone of the same sex, I have definitely been attracted in all ways to other females and have had same-sex encounters, so technically that box was incorrect.  If applying the Kinsey scale, I would put myself at 75-80% hetero.

I don't know if this really qualifies as 'coming out' per se, but the responses I've received (negative) from people I know who tend to be close-minded have prompted me to be more articulate (aggressive?) than I would normally be.  I feel compelled to try to make them understand that the world is not a black and white place - shades of gray are everywhere and that by not acknowledging this truth, they are rejecting me.

-Lynne

[starboardlight]

well, it seemed to me that almost every time I went, it was a coming out. Through February of this year, I was living at my parent's house in the suburb, where people are generally more conservative. A guy going to see this movie by himself, people assume you're gay, until you prove them wrong. And being a conservative area, it does raise eye brows. I hear the teenagers making jokes just outside the entrance. Where as most of my life, I just go about my business not really caring what people think, when I went to see the film, I'm "obviously gay". I always was very aware of that. It's a mixture of confronting the paranoia and being defiant of what ever judgement might come, but there were also nervousness that confrontations might occur.

[Front-Ranger]

This is a great topic and I would like to hear more people's perspectives on this!

[Brown Eyes]

Amazing bump Bud!  What a way to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the last post (prior to your bump) on this thread!
 

[loneleeb3]

Well, since I just came across this thread I felt compelled to write!
This movie,as i have said, was like a mirror to me and I didn't like the reflection.
I see so much of my self in Ennis that it is scary. The self hatred the closeted exsistence etc.
Well, I can't do it anymore. Jack showed me that life is too short. They both showed me that hapiness is fleeting and soon you'll turn around and your chances for true happiness will be gone.
So, I'm taking my chances. It's going to be hard I have no illusions about that. I may not realize how hard yet but i will soon enough. I have come out to the people here to some extent and after I get my life in order as far as my marriage and my family, I will take the next step.
I will probably have my folks watch the movie and then go from there. I'm not quite sure how I will handle it and who I will tell. Like Jack said, it's nobody business. but ours. Ours being who I decide to tell. I do know that I am not going to let life pass me by anylonger whilst i stand in a closet looking out!