Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 14:

He nodded. “Jes like Wilson and Pete. Cause it’s my job, see. It’s the job I took on. There was no way I was gonna stop bein queer, so I just decided that I was gonna spend my time makin the world just a little better for my own kind.”

“An this is jes....”

“Tryin ta make life better for my own kind, Ennis.”

“I won’t hit ya if ya call me sweetheart again,” Ennis said, voice soft, and he looked away suddenly. “I’m jes... mad as hell.”


Leslie

[MaineWriter]

More from Chapter 14:

Ellery gave him a skeptical look. “Why, because ya wouldn’t see em in August?”

“Yeah.” Ennis hung his head. His diatribe finished, all that seemed left was the raw shreds of his regret. “Because I was mad about his boys.”

“Because you were human an because ya made a mistake.”

“Yeah, that was one fuckin big mistake.”

“A really stupid fuckin mistake. Kinda like havin a bad back an drinkin so much ya fall over an hurt yer back.”

Ennis smiled tightly. “Yeah. That stupid.”

“Then we’re both really fuckin stupid.”

Ennis looked back over at Ellery. “Ya got ta eat. Ya got ta take yer pill.”

“I know.” Ellery looked up at him once more. "Are you goin back to Riverton Ennis? Cause if you are I might as well just put this food down an get started on the throwin up.”

Ennis gazed at him for a long, quiet moment. “No. I was pissed when I said that.”

“Are you gonna finish that hamburger?”

Ennis looked down at his plate. “I should. I’m drunk too. An I got ta give somebody a backrub.”

“Yeah, ya do.” As if an unspoken agreement had been made, they both picked up their sandwiches and soon finished eating, and said little more for the rest of the night, and after Ennis had given Ellery a languid, slow massage, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his neck, the breath hissing out softly on his skin, making Ellery shiver.

“I don’t want ta be alone no more, darlin,” he whispered.

“Neither do I,” Ellery replied.


L

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 15:

Ennis stirred under the light touch against his face, murmuring softly… “yes, darlin,” he whispered, sighing, but not waking. Ellery lifted his hand, not wanting to wake him, to shatter the gentle, youthful peace that had settled on Ennis’s face, and he wondered, briefly, selfishly… is he dreaming of me? And realized sadly, that he probably was not. There would always be a man there between them. It was part of what made Ennis so desirable to Ellery – the fact that he had loved, and loved deeply, with every shred of his being, and it is also what pained him the most – Ellery was sure regardless of how long they spent together, he would never fully claim Ennis’s heart. That had already been taken.

A tear slipped from his eye and he wiped it away, impatient. Maudlin thoughts for when the alcohol wears off… it always happened. But Ellery was in love with Ennis, and the fight last night left him feeling ragged and vulnerable. Was it only a matter of time before he bolted out that door and did not return? He was, by turns, hardy yet oversensitive, strong, but explosive and easily angered. And Ellery had too sharp a tongue not to irritate him again, and soon. One time Ennis’s explosive emotions might prove stronger than the lure of Ellery’s companionship, and he wondered if he truly had any control over when the next test might occur. But placating him was not the answer, and the next time Ennis felt himself slip beneath the surface of his guilt about Jack, Ellery would have to respond better, even if it meant losing him. He owed him the truth, even if the truth meant an end to this relationship.


L

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 15, one of the famous last lines...

Ennis had called Wes first thing, interrupting his breakfast, and Wes told him to take off the day and he would book Ellery off work for the remainder of the week. At the clinic, Ennis pulled up to the door and got out, leaving Ellery in the passenger’s seat while he went in, and minutes later, an orderly came out with a gurney.

“Oh shit, not this,” Ellery said. “Can’t I walk in, wheelchair, something?”

“An maybe yer hip’s broke an we don’t know it Ellery. You haven’t seen what it looks like an I did.”

“My hip ain’t broke or I wouldn’t be able ta stand.” The orderly stood aside, waiting for them to finish their argument, and Ennis glared him into acquiescence. “Okay okay. Then help me up on it.”

The orderly spoke then, to Ennis. “You family?”

“He’s my momma, didn’t you figure that out son?” Ellery snapped.

That's all for today, re-readers!

L

[pastorfred]

Aargh.

This series of chapters was by far the hardest for me to read in the entire Saga.

Both of these beloved men were in so much pain, and the only way out of it was through it.

The following exchange is very important to me, for in it I could see the hope that Ennis and Ellery were going to be alright.

“Here,” Ennis said, and pressed the ice pack, cushioned in padding, against his low back.

“Oh Jesus god that’s cold.”

“Yeah, was in the freezer, darlin.”

Ellery glanced up quickly, and their eyes locked once again. “You called me...”

“I know. I don’t hate you, Ellery. I fixed you cream corn!” he held out the plate, and Ellery reached out a hand and took it, setting it down on the bed between his chest and the edge, then accepting a fork.

“So you did.”


Then the comic relief when Ellery said, "He's my momma. Didn't  you figure that out, son?" gave me the assurance that they would, indeed, work things out.

[MaineWriter]

Aargh.

This series of chapters was by far the hardest for me to read in the entire Saga.

I agree, Fred. These were very difficult chapters. And the anguish seemed to come up so suddenly. Of course there was Ellery's trip to Austin and Ennis seeing Jack's picture. Still, the last book ended with declarations of love and Ennis's decision to move to Laramie. And here we have Ellery wondering if it is all going down the drain. Fortunately, as you said, the little bit of comic relief gave me hope that things would work out.

I remember reading this back in May. By this point in the saga I was on the chapter-by-chapter update program. Waiting on these chapters was ripping me to shreds.

Leslie

[pastorfred]

Waiting on these chapters was ripping me to shreds.

Heheh.

I remember that feeling well! By the time I was reading the Saga for the first time, it was July, and this part was complete. Louise was writing in the middle of the third book then. I caught up in about three days! During that time, I was barely able to keep up with the absolute necessities of life, eating, sleeping, and dog walking.

Reading the Laramie Saga became just as important as any of those.

Now think how many new readers have that same experience to look forward to!

This fic should come with a warning: "Highly addictive! Be sure to set aside a block of time for reading and little else!"

[MaineWriter]

Heheh.

I remember that feeling well! By the time I was reading the Saga for the first time, it was July, and this part was complete. Louise was writing in the middle of the third book then. I caught up in about three days! During that time, I was barely able to keep up with the absolute necessities of life, eating, sleeping, and dog walking.

Reading the Laramie Saga became just as important as any of those.

Now think how many new readers have that same experience to look forward to!

This fic should come with a warning: "Highly addictive! Be sure to set aside a block of time for reading and little else!"

Boy, isn't that the truth! I started reading on May 20th (don't ask me why I remember the date so clearly, I have no idea!) and "Taking Chances" was up to Chapter 74. I did a marathon read of that book and for the past 7 months have been on the daily update program.

Necessities of life? Lots of those went out the window with BBM....

L

[mariez]

Good Morning -

Aargh.

This series of chapters was by far the hardest for me to read in the entire Saga.

Both of these beloved men were in so much pain, and the only way out of it was through it.

The following exchange is very important to me, for in it I could see the hope that Ennis and Ellery were going to be alright.

“Here,” Ennis said, and pressed the ice pack, cushioned in padding, against his low back.

“Oh Jesus god that’s cold.”

“Yeah, was in the freezer, darlin.”

Ellery glanced up quickly, and their eyes locked once again. “You called me...”

“I know. I don’t hate you, Ellery. I fixed you cream corn!” he held out the plate, and Ellery reached out a hand and took it, setting it down on the bed between his chest and the edge, then accepting a fork.

“So you did.”


Then the comic relief when Ellery said, "He's my momma. Didn't  you figure that out, son?" gave me the assurance that they would, indeed, work things out.

Yes - so true.  Hard to read is an understatement.  And what sweet relief it was to see that they were going to work their way through the pain together. 

I remember reading this back in May. By this point in the saga I was on the chapter-by-chapter update program. Waiting on these chapters was ripping me to shreds.
Leslie

Yep - I wanted to just jump into the pages and make everything right!

One of the comments at LJ spoke of Ennis's "impotent rage" - what a perfect description.  When we feel so helpless and have so many strong emotions boiling inside us and don't know where to go with all of it - well, all those feelings have to find a release somehow.  I'm so grateful that Ellery understood this.

Kudos to Louise for handling these difficult, but necessary, chapters with such a deft hand. 

Thank you, Leslie, for the quotes and Thank you, pastorfred, for the thoughtful comments.

Marie

[MaineWriter]

For no particular reason, I am posting this...

L