Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll

[MaineWriter]

And another insightful quote from Chapter 28:

“Birthday card? Don’t tell me its yer birthday an you didn’t say nothing?”

“Well, its in a few days yet,” he defended, rereading the card, his lips moving slightly as he did.

“Yeah like what day?”

“Fifth a July.”

“An here we’re both gonna be away… I got the PI license.” Ellery held up the paper embossed with the official seal of the State of Texas. “We should celebrate before we both take off outta here.”

Ennis peered at Ellery as he flopped down in the recliner, his usual spot since Ellery was usually stretched out on the sofa by the time he got home. “An celebratin is just another metaphor for…”

Ellery smiled primly. “I didn’t say that. I was thinking maybe before we started gettin busy in the bedroom we could go stop in an spy on Wayne for a while ta find out how he’s doin with his new manners, then go back to the Rose Hotel fer a steak dinner… ya know that T-bone that just falls right off the bone…”

“Yeah, how could I ferget. You don’t think they’ll get suspicious down there?”

“Get suspicious that we like their steak? I think they already figured it out Ennis.”

“No, I mean… oh fuck it never mind.” Ennis’s face colored with a stormy, disgruntled look.

“I know what you meant, but no I think unless we started up playin grab ass an me sittin on yer lap in the dinin room I don’t think anyone’s sittin there pointin at us an announcing us queer.”

“I don’t want ta go paradin around, Ellery.”

“We ain’t been there for a month Ennis. That is hardly paradin.”


Leslie

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 29:

It seemed like an hour before Ennis put his napkin on the table and said “Ready ta go?” because Ellery was far more than ready, his racing pulse had achieved a sort of staggered rhythm which stepped up to a tangible ache in his chest at his words.

“Yep,” he replied, throat dry.

“Then come on boy, we got a little business ta do,” he said.

“Business is it?”

“Ya might say,” Ennis led the way, and the purposeful stride made Ellery suddenly aware that he had been teasing him, drawing out the time, making him wait, subtly watching him, but once in motion could not restrain that barely-detectable impatience he perceived in his walk.

He no longer needed help to get into the El Camino, and Ennis took the wheel, as per their new routine, and said nothing as he drove them back to the house. They had managed to duck into the Red Stallion while Wayne was busy in the basement and Lauren, the junior bartender, was serving. Ellery had recognized one of the sheriff’s plainclothesmen drinking alone by the window and let his eyes move past him, and they did not stay.

Ellery took out his key at the front door, and as he turned it in the lock he felt a hand on his good hip, resting lightly. “Ya got anythin particular in mind tonight darlin?” Ennis said, voice low, near his ear, and he felt Ennis’s fingers stroking the edge of his belt as if to check to see if there was an easy way in.

“Yeah, lotsa things in mind…” he turned the doorhandle and stepped in, reluctantly away from that exploring hand, and Ennis followed him, too close, breath audible, and closed the door behind them, not turning on the light, even though dusk had fallen.

“Oh yeah like whut?” Ennis said, voice still, probing, that hand returning to where it was before, resting where his belt hitched his denims over the sharp edge of his hipbone, moving just slightly, hypnotically, as if he were considering a next move in a game of chess.

“Oh… maybe some suckin cock… “ he replied, turning his head to look at Ennis’s face, flushed in the half light. “An then maybe some a that Elleryback ridin we ain’t had in a while….”

“Is that so…” Ennis replied, as if considering a dessert on a delicious menu.


L

[MaineWriter]

And from the end of Chapter 29:

“Ah god, fuck me sweetheart...” Ellery sighed, defeated by Ennis’s patience, his head lolling forward as he knelt as though in prayer, surrendering, that surrender betrayed by the greedy pulse of his hole as it grasped at him, pulling his fingers in... and he pulled out suddenly, his hips rolled up and slapped against him, and he took him in a single stroke, not sure whether the whimper he heard then was his own or not, his hands pressed down on his back, making his ass tilt up slightly, and he buried himself again, pausing, as a trickle of sweat splashed on Ellery’s back... and from that moment, he forgot his patience and all control, if only he could keep his hands away from those bruises all would be fine. The floor shook with the violence of his thrusts, the air with a shattering cry that was all pleasure, and he felt himself fall, as he had done that first time, and that second time... all the way into the valley where lovers embraced and never pulled away, spent in one another, and completely fulfilled. Because that is what lovers do.


L

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 30:

They parted on a friendly note – it could not have been more different from his last departure, and he pointed the truck north, closer to layin Jack to rest where he wanted to be. As he drove, he found himself weeping from time to time, and at other times, tense with a pleasurable fantasy of their romps in the wilderness, always ending the same way, in the hard clinch of mutual need and desire, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths, unable to break away until they were both sated.

He never thought he would ever feel that kind of pleasure again.... yet here it was. And every time he felt that blissful release, the hot surge of orgasm blasting through him like lightning striking old wood and searing it to splinters... a part of him would remember that same unearthly pleasure he felt with Jack in his arms, moaning against him and with him... how could he have lived without it so long, how could have gone so long without holding him? Tears stained his cheeks, almost unfelt, as he puzzled through this mystery of how he had locked himself away, in a kind of cold storage, every time he watched Jack’s truck drive away, because this time, when he saw Ellery walk through the sliding glass door to meet his airplane, he felt that same feeling of frozenness descend upon him, like the door of a tomb shutting, uncertain of when it would open again, or for how long.

Like a series of small deaths, that he endured, to stave off the death he could not avoid, did not avoid. He hadn’t saved himself, or Jack, anything with this unendurable abstinence – he had only proven that he was able to still breathe in cold storage, without the touch he needed like he needed air and food. What did that prove? Perhaps that he was less than human, that he was beyond stoicism, and more suitable to a hermit’s life all that time... but was he, really? This time, when he felt the doors close, his eyes straining along the horizon for the lights that were the tiny Beech turboprop taking to the skies, heading for Denver on his errand, he felt a dread of death like he had never felt it when Jack had driven away those times... he felt his knees shake and give, and he held on to the door of the truck, feeling himself caving in, unable to endure this separation as he had those other, just as unendurable separations. What was he, that he could do that to Jack, over and over, that curt goodbye, the supercilious feeling of superiority that he could stand it, for however long it took, until he took him in his arms again?

I was lyin then. It was all a big lie. I couldn’t stand it any more than he could... I just died a little each time. This time, he told himself, it would be different. This time, when he hiked back down Brokeback, he would be able to tell Jack the next time he would be here, flowers in hand, to apologize once more for what he thought then could not be helped. That he couldn’t stand it anymore than Jack could. And he couldn’t stand it any better now.



L

[mariez]

And from the end of Chapter 29:

“Ah god, fuck me sweetheart...” Ellery sighed, defeated by Ennis’s patience, his head lolling forward as he knelt as though in prayer, surrendering, that surrender betrayed by the greedy pulse of his hole as it grasped at him, pulling his fingers in... and he pulled out suddenly, his hips rolled up and slapped against him, and he took him in a single stroke, not sure whether the whimper he heard then was his own or not, his hands pressed down on his back, making his ass tilt up slightly, and he buried himself again, pausing, as a trickle of sweat splashed on Ellery’s back... and from that moment, he forgot his patience and all control, if only he could keep his hands away from those bruises all would be fine. The floor shook with the violence of his thrusts, the air with a shattering cry that was all pleasure, and he felt himself fall, as he had done that first time, and that second time... all the way into the valley where lovers embraced and never pulled away, spent in one another, and completely fulfilled. Because that is what lovers do.


L

Damn!  So hot, sexy, sensuous, erotic and  . . . sublime all at once!   It takes a seriously gifted writer to accomplish that! 

Thanks for the quote, Leslie. 

Thanks for seriously gifted writing, Louise!

Marie

[belbbmfan]

from chapter 30:

Junior took off her evening shift the day he arrived and baked him a birthday cake, and they celebrated his 42nd birthday, and briefly, he felt like an old man, until he blew out the candles and helped himself to chocolate ice cream, perversely, in the middle of eating it, reminded of the ice cream sundaes at the Rose Hotel when he celebrated with Ellery, and the passion that followed it, causing him to blush inexplicably.


very sweet, for a second he felt old until he thought of Ellery again, which made him blush. When you're in love like that, you can't be old.
 

[MaineWriter]

from chapter 30:

Junior took off her evening shift the day he arrived and baked him a birthday cake, and they celebrated his 42nd birthday, and briefly, he felt like an old man, until he blew out the candles and helped himself to chocolate ice cream, perversely, in the middle of eating it, reminded of the ice cream sundaes at the Rose Hotel when he celebrated with Ellery, and the passion that followed it, causing him to blush inexplicably.


very sweet, for a second he felt old until he thought of Ellery again, which made him blush. When you're in love like that, you can't be old.
 

So true...

L

[notBastet]

This is one of my most favorite honest-Ellery moments... he's so laying it on the line, saying how scared he is, and how he would feel if Ennis left.  Not trying to be brave-cop anymore.

More from Chapter 14:



“I know.” Ellery looked up at him once more. "Are you goin back to Riverton Ennis? Cause if you are I might as well just put this food down an get started on the throwin up.”

[MaineWriter]

That's one of the things I am noticing much more in this book...just how vulnerable Ellery really feels and how he covers it up with his cockiness and bravado. He is so desparately in love and so worried that Ennis is going to bolt.

L

[belbbmfan]

Chapter 30:

They parted on a friendly note – it could not have been more different from his last departure, and he pointed the truck north, closer to layin Jack to rest where he wanted to be. As he drove, he found himself weeping from time to time, and at other times, tense with a pleasurable fantasy of their romps in the wilderness, always ending the same way, in the hard clinch of mutual need and desire, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths, unable to break away until they were both sated.

He never thought he would ever feel that kind of pleasure again.... yet here it was. And every time he felt that blissful release, the hot surge of orgasm blasting through him like lightning striking old wood and searing it to splinters... a part of him would remember that same unearthly pleasure he felt with Jack in his arms, moaning against him and with him... how could he have lived without it so long, how could have gone so long without holding him? Tears stained his cheeks, almost unfelt, as he puzzled through this mystery of how he had locked himself away, in a kind of cold storage, every time he watched Jack’s truck drive away, because this time, when he saw Ellery walk through the sliding glass door to meet his airplane, he felt that same feeling of frozenness descend upon him, like the door of a tomb shutting, uncertain of when it would open again, or for how long.

Like a series of small deaths, that he endured, to stave off the death he could not avoid, did not avoid. He hadn’t saved himself, or Jack, anything with this unendurable abstinence – he had only proven that he was able to still breathe in cold storage, without the touch he needed like he needed air and food. What did that prove? Perhaps that he was less than human, that he was beyond stoicism, and more suitable to a hermit’s life all that time... but was he, really? This time, when he felt the doors close, his eyes straining along the horizon for the lights that were the tiny Beech turboprop taking to the skies, heading for Denver on his errand, he felt a dread of death like he had never felt it when Jack had driven away those times... he felt his knees shake and give, and he held on to the door of the truck, feeling himself caving in, unable to endure this separation as he had those other, just as unendurable separations. What was he, that he could do that to Jack, over and over, that curt goodbye, the supercilious feeling of superiority that he could stand it, for however long it took, until he took him in his arms again?

I was lyin then. It was all a big lie. I couldn’t stand it any more than he could... I just died a little each time. This time, he told himself, it would be different. This time, when he hiked back down Brokeback, he would be able to tell Jack the next time he would be here, flowers in hand, to apologize once more for what he thought then could not be helped. That he couldn’t stand it anymore than Jack could. And he couldn’t stand it any better now.



L

this is just beautiful. i have tears in my eyes reading this.