Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
Katie77:
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into K-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenaties at them all the way throught te entrance....
The K-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to K-Mart....Nice children you've got there.....are they twins?"
The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell ni they aint, the eldest one , he's 9, and the younger one, she's 7....Why the hell would you think they were twins?......Do you really think they look alike?"
"No", replies the greeter....."I just couldn't believe you got laid twice"..........
(from the sound of her, she probably decked him)
Katie77:
Come on...where are all those funny jokes you get by email......share them with us.....
Here's one......
An Indian walks into a Tim Horton's with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of manure in the other.....he says..."Me want coffee".
The worker says, "Sure chief, coming right up".
He gets the Indian a cup of coffee and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp. He picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with a shotgun, then just walks out........
The next morning the Indian returns..He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of manure in the other....He walks up to the counter and says ..."Me want coffee"....
The waiter says, "Whoa there Chief!...We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here.....What the heck was all that about anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says....."Me training for job as a government employee....Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for the rest of the day"
(my apologies to government employees and Indians
Arad-3:
Lets see if I can remember this one correctly. My cousin from Ireland told this one on one of his visits.
Molly Maloney and Brigette O'Rilley were pulling up parsnips in the garden behind Molly's house. When suddenly old Molly gasps and holds up a parsnip for Bridgette to see...
Molly: this one reminds me of me late dear old husband Paddy!
Bridgette: ha ha Molly what is it? The size of it?
Molly: Shakes her head.. No it's not the size of it!
Bridgette: Well then is it the length of it?
Molly:Nay..its not the length of it, not like my Paddy at all!
Bridgette: Well , Molly what is it..the shape of it?
Molly: No it's not the shape of it!
Bridgette: Well sheeet Molly!! I give up..what is about that that reminds you of your dear old Paddy?
Molly: It's the DIRT of it!!
[
Toast:
I had to do it he was grilling zucchini
twistedude:
....................New Yorker
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