Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
twistedude:
New Yoriker:
Katie77:
Subject: The Irishman, Englishman and the Scot
An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, that's nuttin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
"Well!" said the Englishman, "Has this actually happened to you?"
"Not me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."
Katie77:
Cough Syrup
The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily
against a wall.
He asks the blonde clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The blonde clerk responds, "Well, he came in here this morning to get
something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave
him
an entire bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist yells, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's
afraid to cough."
Katie77:
Subject: Meanwhile in heaven ....
A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once on a trip to
the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of
high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and
smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his
nose ring and threw it on the ground."
I yelled "Now back off that woman or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago..."
Katie77:
Do you see sheep?????
Makes you wonder what Ennis and Jack were looking at from up on the mountain......
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