Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
Brokeback_Dev:
what the hell are they doing?
Katie77:
--- Quote from: brokeback_dev on October 20, 2006, 02:47:18 am ---what the hell are they doing?
--- End quote ---
I think they are trying to look like sheep.....!!!!!
Katie77:
Subject: Fw: Superman Action
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super
Hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action.
"Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?"
"Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in
Comicland. Why don't you try her?" replied Batman.
"I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her."
"Damn shame," said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.
Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the
Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down.
"Hey Hal, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor,
who's the best babe in comicland?"
"Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?"
"Well, we're sort of friends," Superman said, "but I didn't realize she
Had gotten around so much" and he flew off in frustration.
Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here."
So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone.
Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed __expression. "What the hell was that??" she exclaimed.
"I don't know," said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, "but my ass is
Killing me."
Katie77:
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided> to hire herself out as a "Handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"!
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've be en getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
Yes," the blonde replied," and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus"
Katie77:
Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they
>>>aren't
>>>prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern Small-Town
>>>Prosecuting
>>>Attorney called his first witness. A Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman
>>>to the
>>>stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>>>
>>>She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
>>>you
>>>since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
>>>disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your Wife, and you
>>>manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
>>>think
>>>you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
>>>will
>>>amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
>>>you."
>>>
>>>The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
>>>across
>>>the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense
>>>Attorney?" She
>>>again replied, "Why, yes I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
>>>a
>>>youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
>>>He
>>>can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
>>>is
>>>one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
>>>his
>>>Wife with three different Women. One of them was your Wife. Yes, I
>>>know
>>>him."
>>>
>>>The Defense Attorney almost died. The Judge asked both Counselors
>>>to
>>>approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of
>>>you
>>>Idiots asks her if she knows Me, I'll send you BOTH to the
>>>Electric
>>>Chair."
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