Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
David In Indy:
:laugh: :laugh:
Good one Dottie! :D
David In Indy:
I posted this in my blog last week, but most of you didn't see it probably, so here it is again...
Are you tired of those "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
None of that Sissy Crap
Here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard, or bitch, who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be.... until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath - I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing in your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
And always remember.....when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt.
SEND THIS TO ALL 5 of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 2.
David In Indy:
GRANDPA ON THE PORCH
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said "Well.... last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea"
Katie77:
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath.
One of them was washing her private area and noticed
that there was a slight response on the monitor when
she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was
sizable movement.They went to her husband and explained what
happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a
little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that
they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband
finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the
woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.
The nurses run back into the room.
"What happened!?" they cried.
The husband said, "I'm not sure....maybe she choked?
dot-matrix:
New riddle in the email from my 10 year old niece tonight.. ;)
Why did the Cowboy get himself a Dachshund?
Answer: (highlight to reveal the answer) Because everyone kept saying "get a long little doggie"!
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