Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face
was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they
couldn't graft any skin from his body, because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However,
the only skin suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed they would tell no one about where
the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor
their secret. After all this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before.
All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful
Beauty.

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with
emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you
for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need, every time
I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

[dot-matrix]

A man walked into the ladies' section of a Department store
and says to the woman behind the counter. " I' d like to buy
a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B."

"What type of bra, sir?" asks the assistant.
"Baptist," said the man. "She said a Baptist Bra and you would
know what she means."

"Ah yes, now I remember," says the saleslady . "We don't sell
many of those. Mostly our customers want the Catholic type,
or the Salvation Army type or Presbyterian type."

Confused, the man asked, "What's the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple."

The Catholic type supports the masses.

The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen.

And the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright.

"So, what does the Baptist type do ?"

"Makes mountains out of molehills, she replied.

[underdown]

Some people never seem motivated to participate, but
are just content to watch while others do the work.

They are called "Spec Taters."

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted
at finding fault with the way the others do the work.

They are called "Comment Taters."

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what
to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.

They are called "Dick Taters."

Some people are always looking to cause problems by
asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too
cold, too sour or too sweet.

They are called "Agie Taters."

There are those who say they will help, but somehow
just never get around to doing the promised help.

They are called "Hezzie Taters."

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be
something they are not.

They are called "Emma Taters."

Then there are those who love others and do what they
say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever
they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real
sunshine into the lives of others.

They are called "Sweet Taters."

Which are you 

Good one ... 


*********
Why do some ladies blame all their 'women's troubles' on males ??

Is it because they go through those life stages called ..

MEN struation
MEN opause, and
HIS torechtomy
 
 
(ok, I know it's spelled HYS  )

Can anyone add anything?
For male troubles? (Do men HAVE troubles?)

[TXdoug]

Hi Kerry....Happy Weekend in OZ Would you post one of your delightful original cartoons ?

[Kerry]

Hi Kerry....Happy Weekend in OZ Would you post one of your delightful original cartoons ?

Hi Doug! Lovely to hear from you! 

Alas, most of my 'toons relate to Australia in that they satirize and pillory our locally grown religious leaders and politicians (the bigoted, homophobic ones!). They would probably be unknown to a non-Oz audience. I do have some that are more general in nature. Here's one.

Happy weekend to you too!   

[TXdoug]

Thanks, Kerry One of my favorites is the " mirror , mirror on the wall" cartoon

[dot-matrix]

*snip
*********
Why do some ladies blame all their 'women's troubles' on males ??

Is it because they go through those life stages called ..

MEN struation
MEN opause, and
HIS torechtomy
 
 
(ok, I know it's spelled HYS  )

Can anyone add anything?
For male troubles? (Do men HAVE troubles?)

 

[underdown]

Well, maybe we shouldn't MENtion things like that.

I mean, we can MANage to have good MANners in these MENtal exercises without being MENacing or MENdicant, can't we?

Or is it MANdatory?

 

[Kerry]

Alas, most of my 'toons relate to Australia in that they satirize and pillory our locally grown religious leaders and politicians (the bigoted, homophobic ones!). They would probably be unknown to a non-Oz audience. I do have some that are more general in nature. Here's one.

Having said that, I have now decided to post my Oz-themed cartoons after all. They address universal themes that we can all relate to, even though one may not personally know the individual being satirized in the cartoon.

When posting my Aussie cartoons, I'll give a brief run-down, so we'll all know what it's about.

So let's make a beginning with this one, which comments on a story that appeared in the press last April. John Howard is the Prime Minister of Australia.

[dot-matrix]

   Three ducks were swimming in a pond after midnight and were arrested for trespassing. The next morning, they were called to appear in court. The judge called in duck number one and said, "What where you doing in the pond after midnight?"

   "I was blowing bubbles." The judge then called in duck number two and asked him the same question. "Judge, I was blowing bubbles."

    He then called in duck number three and said, "So let me quess — you were blowing bubbles too?"

   "No, I'm Bubbles."