I started today listening to my cd of Brokeback Mountain. I realized how that music can take me back to the very feelings I had in the beginning. The tears and ache in my heart. It is such a palpablething. It is like posession. I don't know the why or the wherefore that it has over me. I thought I hadgotten to the point where I wasn't going to be hit like that again...But here I am again in a flood of tears. I started reading some of the older posts. Some from right after the BBQ. I read Chrissi's postabout how she still had the feeling of euphoria, even three weeks later. My heart smiled. I read how Lee was having a hard time focusing at home and at work. I understood and my heart smiled. Later I found a post by Jack Stephens, and he is such a sweet and wonderful guy. My heart smiled. Then It came to me. The feelings I now have when I listen to the music, is related to the Brokies I havemet. It is now the sadness I feel..Missing the people I have come to know and found so dear. I havehad such an experience this year, as to have rooted itself into my psyche. I can no longer separate themovie, the music, and the people from each other. It is all one large whole. Made up of bits and pieces of thepuzzle. Every person, every post on Bettermost, every song. Every sad story and every Wonderful newblessing that people have experienced, is in there.... I just want to say how greatful and blessed I am to have gotten to know all of you and shared this unique and soul shaking experience with....I love each and every one of you.... Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Janice
Good morning to all the Bettermost people.. Kelda, Steve, and all the others...And just another Shout out to Scott too....You are such a TROOPER. You are gonna beat this.I know you are... a big {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}