Author Topic: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....  (Read 69489 times)

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:25:15 )   

UPDATED Mon May 8 2006 14:30:43
Of course a sequel is utterly rediculous... When the story is done, it's done. Except in Hollywood...

Never underestimate the power of profit!

What follows are a series of posts (tongue firmly in cheek) dedicated to proving the rule that a sequel can always be generated - granted only this: one must be fully committed to completely sacrificing the artistic integrity of the source material.

There is a genre here for just about everyone. Enjoy them, or don't...

Furthermore, the BBM franchise can be infinitely extended:

1.) by gutting virtually any story to its framework and injecting it with Brokeback Mountain DNA,
2.) simply negating the original story and rewriting;
3.) redressing the original with new props,
4.) slicing into the timeline of the original story and injecting new material;
5.) continuing the original story forward by using an improbable event and reshuffling elements of the source material;
6.) or simply dropping a completely different story line into the BBM Universe.

For anyone who feels a sequel is unnecessary, congratulations. You've decided wisely.


Some people might wonder why there are a number of Sci-Fi stories. If we are to learn anything from Sci-Fi, it is this: death is not forever. Annie Proulx also suggested that her inspiration for some of Brokeback Mountain came from science fiction--people transported by a wormhole (Brokeback) and forever changed by the experience.
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2007, 08:05:56 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:27:56 )   

"It's a Wonderful Brokeback Life" - Christmas TV Special


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis works hard to bring home money for Alma to spend on Christmas gifts, all the while thinking of Jack as he is working with animals.

Lureen works hard to bring home money for Jack to spend on Christmas gifts. Jack goes shopping and lingers in the men's hat section eyeing an earthtoned Stetson Resistol, which he buys for himself because it reminds him of Ennis.

Cross cut with scenes of tranquil domesticity as both families happily prepare for the holidays.

Jack decides to grow a mustache.

Jack sends Ennis a Christmas card: "Friend, have a festive holiday! See you in the spring! Jack."

Ennis sends Jack a Christmas postcard: "You bet."
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2007, 08:06:34 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:29:53 )   

"Brokeback Fever Pitch"

PLOT SYNOPSIS: (Send this to Project Greenlight, has some potential as an Affleck/Damon vehicle)

Ennis and Jack meet in Boston during the baseball off-season at a "Cowboy Up" event at a local gay bar and choose to leave their wives and marry each other. They get autographs of Kevin Millar and Johnny Damon.

Jack becomes frustrated because Ennis will only be intimate with him when the Red Sox win a game. Hilarity and heartbreak ensue.

Jack (wearing a Jason Veritek jersey): "I'm get wicked lonely waiting for off-season. Just once I wish you would look at me like I was freekin Jason Veritek or something."

Ennis (wearing a Pedro Martinez jersey): "Jack, you'll always be my freekin Veritek."

Jack scores seats on the Green Monster during the playoffs, and Ennis goes for beer and pizza, only to return and find Jack was fatally injured during his absence by a Yankee home run struck by Derek Jeter.

Ennis's sadness stays with him even after the Sox win the World Series in 2004 and Reverse the Curse of the Bambino. Too late, Ennis comes to realize that the World Series trophy has come at enormous personal cost.

Ennis hangs both his and Jack's jersey in his closet on a hanger together, number 45 tenderly and symbolically cradling number 33, home colors lovingly cradling away colors, hanging together like two skins.

Ennis, eyes watering, kisses a Carlton Fisk autographed ball, replaces it in the closet, and says: "Jack, I swear... Yankees Suck"
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2007, 08:07:14 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:32:03 )   

"The Day of the Jonquil"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

FBI agent Ennis Delmar returns from Brokeback Mountain after a summer of deep cover and sets about working on a covert op directed personally by J. Edgar Hoover.

Hoover wishes to bring down the present administration, and he authorizes a hit on the wife of the President of the United States - code named: Jonquil. Ennis, under the pretext of preparing for a November wedding, arranges the purchase of special weapons arranged through a Basque contact he arranged to meet on Brokeback (the mixing of the sheep was a cover op) and imported by a female deep cover agent in Childress Texas - Lureen. Ennis must collect the weapons he ordered, but much to his horror he sees Jack and fears his cover will be blown. Lureen seduces Jack to allow Ennis time to escape with his weapons shipment, and to set up operations in Dallas Texas. Hoover tells Ennis he wants the first lady assassinated as the motorcade parades through Dallas and gives him the exact date. Ennis realizes it is the day after his wedding and he will need to do some quick thinking to continue to use Alma as his cover story. He plans a wedding reception in Dallas

Ennis returns to Wyoming with plans underway. He marries Alma and on the night of their wedding, they travel to their honeymoon in Dallas Texas. The next morning, Ennis tells Alma that he is going out for some smokes and he might not be back until night. Alma sobs tearfully after he leaves, thinking that Ennis might be going off to see another man.

Ennis takes up position in the snipers nest he has arranged in Dallas. The motorcade passes through Dallas and Ennis takes aim at his target, when suddenly shots ring out from the grassy knoll. The president has been gunned down and Ennis suddenly realizes he has been set up by J. Edgar Hoover to take the fall!
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2007, 08:07:56 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:36:30 )   

UPDATED Thu Apr 27 2006 13:36:54
"Brokeback Mountain ('Delmar Darko' Special Extended Edition)"


(ALTERATION TO MOVIE: After every time Ennis and Jack separate, add a bizarre conversation with Ennis and a man in a weird rabbit suit.)

(ALTERATION to end of orginal movie to cut and reloop the timeline.)

Ennis at his closet. Ennis says "Jack, I swear..."

Sudden cut to black.

In the darkness, the sound of truck engine humming along then coming to a stop.

Reprise montage from beginning of movie: Street scene, train passes. Replace shots of Ennis on steps of Aguirre's tailer with shots of Ennis nervously darting glances down the road as he smokes. (NO MUSIC)

Green truck pulls in. Wheel spin kicks up dirt. Ennis tosses cigarette.

Jack steps out of truck. Strikes pose against truck. Locks eyes with at Ennis (looking directly into camera).

Ennis looks up from under brim of his hat, meets his gaze and locks eyes with him. (cue to Opening chords) Slight smile from Ennis.

Ennis crosses street. Takes out two cigarettes, lights both at the same time and passes one to Jack. (Homage to Now Voyager). Jack smiles. Camera pulls back as they begin to talk (Dub music The Wings and fade out).
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2007, 08:08:45 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:39:20 )   

"Theatre of Blood (Brokeback Mountain edition)"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Brokeback Mountain gets a meta-treatment of the Vincent Price / Diana Rigg classic.

Heath, Jake, and Michelle, all pissed they got stiffed for AMPAS awards, target members of the Academy and Film Critics for ultimate revenge.

Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper, Gene Siskel, and Oprah Winfrey look-alikes are all bumped off in high style in great death scenes drawn from gay themed movies. Ang Lee makes a cameo appearance. Randy Quaid plays "Roger Egbert" , Sean Hayes plays "Richie Roepik", Star Jones plays "Orca Windfall", and in a special appearance Tom Hanks plays "Gene Cystic."

Finally, a special award of vengeance is reserved for Paul Haggis, who is fiendishly impailed (in manner most compromising) on Ang Lee's best director Award!

Ang Lee (aside to camera): "I guess Ole Brokeback got him good!"

In a radical departure from the original storyline, Heath, Jake, and Michelle all survive the ending, ride off on horses, and live happily ever after together in the mountains of Calgary.
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2007, 08:09:21 pm »
The Mighty Elks of Brokeback County   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix   (Wed Dec 13 2006 10:53:19 )   
      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:41:14 )   

"The Mighty Elks of Brokeback County"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Ennis, working through his loss and anguish issues, promises his daughter Alma Jr. he will coach a gay ice hockey team of misfits. He teaches them to cowboy up, and that to be a gay athlete means to be more macho than the straight guys. Now they must learn to pull together, if they want to win together.

Olympic skater Johnny Weir wears figure skates instead of hockey skates and narrowly misses disqualification. He incorporates flying camels, spirals, and triple lutzes in some of the most amazing ice hockey action ever lensed! (When he scores a goal, 5 cheerleaders on the side each hold up a card with varying ratings 9.2, 9.4, 9.6, 9.7., 9.5).

"Are we ELKS or are we SHEEP?! Ennis rallies his team.

"We're HERE, we're QUEER, we're FABULOUS, so get USED TO IT!" the team rallies back!

Ennis, holding up Jack's blue shirt with a dirty cuff, "I want you all to GET UP off your pockets and into your CONTROL ZONES! Now, let's go out and WIN THIS ONE for the TWISTER!"

Ennis shepherds them through the play-offs, and helps to pair off all the boys into couples (who are all of legal age), and lets the members of the team design their own unforms. The Mighty Elks win the championship cup, and win the hearts and minds of the community, and they grudgingly win the respect of Joe Aguirre, the homophobe church leader who tried to stand in their way.

Inspirational speech by Ennis in the Kiss and Cry area after the hockey game.
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2007, 08:11:21 pm »
The Time is Not Enough (On Her Majesty's Secret Brokeback)   
  by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix   (Wed Dec 13 2006 10:59:56 )   

      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:45:12 )   

"The Time is Not Enough (On Her Majesty's Secret Brokeback)"

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

Car skids on sand on the beach. Ennis rushes out and tries to commit suicide by swimming out to sea. Jack Twist's car skids behind. Jack rushes out to rescue Ennis. Gun fight with Blofeld's assassin's on beach. Jack fires but he can't shoot straight, but fortunately he succeeds in scaring attackers off. Ennis takes off leaving Jack alone.

Jack (in a puckish aside to camera): "This would have never happened to Pierce Brosnan."

Jack meets Ennis in Aguirre von Blofeld's casino and rescues him from a huge debt he has run up and cannot pay.

"My name is Twist, Jack Twist.."

"My name's Ennis."

"Your parents stop at Ennis?"

"I am the Count Ennis Ivanonich Dragomilov Nuyrev Fyodor Krazilovski Delmar. My father owns Delmar Cybermations, Ltd. I doesn't matter what you call me - so long as you call tonight... "

M informs agent Twist, via a secret transmitter in his uvula that she has just received word from special agent McGuffin that archfiend Blofeld is looking to acquire Delmar Cybermations, Ltd. for some nefarious purpose.

Jack and Ennis meet for a covert evening interlude, and Ennis puts the blocks to Jack. In the morning, Ennis wakes up before Jack does and disappears, but leaves an envelope with a floppy disk (marked "FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: Project Mad Sheep - murder most evil") under Jack's pillow. Jack immediately realizes that Ennis is in danger.

Ennis is taken captive by Aguirre von Blofeld in a newly built private ski resort at the top Brokeback Mountain. Aguirre is intent on seducing Ennis, but Ennis resists. Outside the sheep graze ominously, and Brokeback Mountain seems to be lit by oblique and lurid beams.

Ennis forestalls Blofeld's advances by telling him he has to say prayers before having sex... (much comedy as Ennis - a Methodist - tries to pray in faux Latin).

Jack arranges a covert op to rescue Ennis. Trumping up an explosion at a nearby Basque encampment, Jack radios Blofeld that they need to give clearance for an emergency medflight. Ennis hears the transmission, realizes it is Jack coming to rescue him and distracts Blofeld by whispering into his ear the words Blofeld always had some silent, sexless hunger to hear "You're sleepin on your feet like a horse. Time for bed, cowboy." The distraction buys time for Jack.

Jack gives the sheep an antidote, leads the assault on the ski resort. Aguirre before escaping, orders his hitmen (Greg, Peter, and Bobby) to kill Ennis. Ennis valiently fights each of them off, and joins Jack for a breathtaking chase down the mountain together on horseback, just barely staying ahead of assassins and an avalanche. They deftly dispatch all their pursuers and nuzzle.

Project Mad Sheep now halted. Jack and Ennis decide to take their vows together before an Episcopalian minister in Canada, and leave in a car marked "Just Married."

They pull over and kiss tenderly.

Jack: "Ennis, do you know why i pick this ring for you?

Ennis: "Because diamonds are forever?"

In the background, Aguirre von Blofeld's car is seen drawing up alongside out of focus...

Jack: "Time. The time is never enough..."

Shots rings out from Blofeld's car.

Jack: "It's Blofeld! Let's head him off at the pass!"

Ennis stares with glassy eyes. And Jack is left with nothing but the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain in his hands...

Roll credits as Louis Armstrong sings "We Have All the Time in the World."

Other titles in the newly discovered Ian Flemming/Jack Twist 007 series:

"The Man with the Golden Gun Goin Off"
"Octospunky"
"Moonspanker"
"Diamonds are for Heifers"
"Rosefinger"
"Never Say Clever Enough"
"Licence to Spill"
"From Riverton with Love"
"The Gay who Loved Me"
"Dye Another Gay"
"Thunderballz"
"For Your Guys Only"
"Spew to a Kill"
"The Living Gaylights"
"Live and Get Bi"
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2007, 08:12:27 pm »

      
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:48:33 )   

UPDATED Thu Apr 27 2006 13:50:13
"When a Brokeback Stranger Calls"


Plot Synopsis:

In a remote mountain tent in the wooded area surrounding Brokeback Mountain, Ennis and Jack have just settled in for a routine night of the usual intimacy. The sheep are sound asleep, as are the horses, and Ennis and Jack settle down on their bedroll for a midsummer night's scream.

A voice on the Walkie-talkie tells them to "check the sheep," Jack begins to panic, and Ennis is looking grim.

They try to radio Joe Aguirre, who contacts the police. The police radio back that they have traced the calls - they're coming from inside the tent!

A blade slices up between them through the bedroll narrowly missing the both of them. Ennis and Jack must keep all their wits about them and find a way to fight back, if they are going to make it out of the tent alive.
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40

Offline TOoP/Bruce

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Re: "Brokeback Fever Pitch," "I 'Cowbot", and other sequels....
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2007, 08:13:05 pm »
by - bjblakeslee (Thu Apr 27 2006 13:52:01 )   

"The DelMari Code"


PLOT SYNOPSIS:

A mysterious visiter arrives at Ennis's trailer to inform him that recently National Geographic acquired a gnostic document reputed to be the Gospel of Judas Iscariot. Judas reveals the true nature of his relationship with Jesus and the two of them secretly adopted a son, born of a union with Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Using the extensive geneological records kept by the Church of Latter Day Saints at an undisclosed Utah location, Catholic organization Opus Fey has traced the family lineage to Lightning Flats. There they seek a child born of a union with Jack F. Twist and a woman only known to them as Lureen.

Ennis is in a race against time if he is to find Lureen and save Jack Twist's only begotten son in this wildly improbable thriller from the director of "Splash."
Former IMDb Name: True Oracle of Phoenix / TOoP (I pronounce it "too - op") / " in fire forged,  from ash reborn" / Currently: GeorgeObliqueStrokeXR40