Now, I'm not single these days ladies, (so I hope you don't mind me dropping on in!) but for the record - I used to spend about £35 in shopping - so thats about $70. The UK is more expensive than the US though me thinks...
I split up with my long term boyfriend of 6 years in Nov 2003. Like you Kelly, I had tried and tried, but it just wasn't working.
I met him through the brass band I play in.. we knew each other vaguely, but I sat next to his brother in band so in fact before we started seeing each other I was much much closer to his brother. Anyway, as a 16 year old I thought he was gorgeous, and he was 18 – older! Wow!
I was going to University 4 months later so we carried on a long distance relationship ..and all was good.. we saw each other a fair bit and that initial loved up stage was lovely.. I knew his brother well anyway and knew of his family, so I fitted in there quite well… 2 yrs went by… Looking back now it would have probably run its course eventually, had other things not intervened – but I’m a try-er I don’t give up easily on anything. But yes, he was a total Ennis, I myself am a Jack – the talker, always need to be on the go etc.
He was up seeing me at uni one weekend when his dad called. Can I speak to Stuart? Stuart put down the phone and said. Graham’s dead. His brother had been killed in an accident at work. That was a terrible time…I had my own grief to deal with as well as Stuart’s, his whole families, and Graham’s girlfriend (a mate of mine). I had to phone round our friends and tell them the news. I had to track down Graham’s best friend as no-one could get in touch with him and tell him over the phone (he was visiting his girlfriend in London). It was hard. I held the family together.
Now this in itself is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things – plenty of people deal with death. But this was a lot to put on my shoulders at that age. But I wanted to be there – I loved this guy, very fond of the family, and his poor brother. Most of the time during the initial week or so after it.. he pushed me away. Didn’t want a cuddle, couldn’t handle it. It was just his way of dealing but there was other flashes of times, when I think he would have collapsed without me.
Anyway, there lies the problem… I let him treat me like 5hit.. because he was grieving.. and I got used to it. And I guess so did he. If he was horrible, and off hand, and more interested in his mates than me, and getting drunk and never physically but verbally abusive, I would say, but he’s grieving. It took another 4 yrs to come to head and took his best friend over a year of repeatedly telling me.. he’s a 5hit to you. Get out of there. And other people telling me the same to eventually make things come to a head. They’re had been plenty of times when I said to him before.. things need to change… but it would always go back to normal.
So yeah, I was gutted when it all ended.. and cried non stop for 2 weeks even though it was me that brought things to a head. But I got over it and went into the I’m not interested in any relationship, just a few odd drunken snogs here and there .. I went on very few dates in the 3 years I was single before I met Callum. 3 dates with 2 different guys! and the one guy I had 2 dates with, both were in a group situation for most of the date.
And then March 2006 - I met Callum - in the midst of my brokie obsession. And I decided what harm would a few dates do.. did I really want to be an Ennis? We've been living together for 9 months now so I guess you can say those dates went well!
