After reading most of the posts on here, the one thing that stands out the most about being a good parent is giving the child plenty of attention....
My two sons are 32 and 35, and now parents themselves.....
They grew up in a stable family, we both worked, but every other waking moment was spent with our boys...
When they got to their teens, they started using drugs, marihuana, started bucking socieity, started doing things that we were not very proud of and disappointed in them for doing....
When all this began, me and my husband started to question our way of parenting...
what did we do wrong, were we bad parents, didnt we do something right??.....so as well as dealing with the problems the kids were throwing at themselves and us, we were also dealing with our guilt that we were not good parents.
After a couple of years of this, along with councelling and talking to others in the same situation, we finally said....."NO.....WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE THE BLAME ANYMORE FOR WHAT OUR KIDS ARE DOING".....We had done our best, we had set a good example, and we had shown be example what we expected as a family unit.
Once we thought this way, we found it easier to fight the demons that were plaguing our kids, what we found that was when we were blaming ourselves, it allowed them to blame us too, for their bad behaviour.....once that stopped and we told them, "dont blame us anymore....you are responsible", it took away their excuse for not taking care of their own destiny themselves.....
No family, no matter who works or who doesnt, or who stays together or separates, or earns more money than some others...no one is immune from teens or young adults going off the rails.We are fools if we think we are........
It has taken a long time.....a long, painful, expensive, sad journey, but we have survived, and they have survived to finally lead a respectable life,to be good husbands and fathers, to have self esteem, and to be proud of themselves.
Maybe the education department should teach less of subjects that our kids will never use in their adult life, and maybe start teaching them how to be adults, partners and parents.....That is what is going to be the most important part of their future.
For all the books printed on childhood, teenagers, young adults, old adults, whats right or wrong, which way to bring them up.....really, has anyone or can anyone ever get it right.....We as parents, just have to do our best.......