Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll

[Bigheart]

Lovely pics, Louise and Fabienne 

You have 2 beautiful daughters, Fabienne 

[MaineWriter]

Re-readers, today we have chapters 86 to 90:

http://louisev.livejournal.com/24750.html

From 86:

He set the phone down, a sudden dizziness striking him, and he stepped back, stumbling as his leg bumped into the chair, and sat heavily. He slumped against the table, head down, his breath feeling like fire in his chest. “Jack would be proud a you…”

Jack, would you be proud a me, movin out a town and down to the city to move in an have a queer life with a college eddicated detective deputy sheriff? Jealous as fuck maybe, rollin over in the grave…. His thoughts were dismayed, disconnected, wrenching an audible sob from him, his stinging tears soaking through his shirt as he gasped out his regret, his guilt, his ambivalence. It seemed that every moment of happiness was somehow mixed with despair, every joy, sullied by a tinge of grief. Even this bold move, giving him a new career and the hope of love once more, spoiled by the grim, silent dismay of the only other person whose esteem he truly valued, because Francine and Alma had shut him out years ago.

[MaineWriter]

And a reunion in Chapter 87:

The sun was hot on the windshield as he turned off the 287, the lump of grief in his throat from his departure from Riverton felt half as big now, his mind shying away from emotional pain, now alternating between two appetites, food and sex.

As he turned into the driveway behind the El Camino, he felt his guts tighten with a now-familiar ache, his breath attenuating, and he nearly dropped his keys as he turned off the truck. Swung his now-quite-full gunnysack out of the back, stuffing the black t-shirt down inside. That shirt had been under his pillow during his brief stay at Junior’s, the one tangible item that connected him to this strange, new life he was embarking on, and as he hurried, now breathless, up to the door, he became aware once again that he was not alone. He tried the door, and it opened, and as he walked in, he glanced over at the sofa, the long lean body, all in black, topped by his black, thin-brimmed hat, tilted jauntily over his eyebrow at an angle.

“Well if it ain’t Mr. Please an Thank you,” he said, smirking, tilting the hat back and looking him up and down.


L

[louisev]

ack!  I love the quotes you pick out, Leslie!

[MaineWriter]

From Chapter 88:

“Ya come home, make me suck you off, fuck me, now yer eatin everythin in the kitchen. Was it that bad in Riverton?”

Ennis swallowed. “Yeah. Hardly ate since yesterday mornin. It was a major shit storm.” He buttered another biscuit. “An you weren’t there. And it sucked.”

“Well there go my fears a you not comin back. What’d she say?”

Ennis took another bite, demolishing his fourth biscuit before he replied once more. “She said I needed ta find a girl ta step out with an not go back ta my evil ways.”

“She said that? Evil?”

“No, the snakebite in her tone a voice said evil. Becomin just like er momma.”

“Ennis I don’t want ta sound like the devil’s advocate or nothin but a couple weeks ago you ain’t never set foot in this city, never mind take up with a man out in the open, don’t you think it might shock yer daughter just a smidge?”

“Yeah but she didn’t have no call ta treat me like dirt.”

and later, same chapter, the famous burning biscuits:

“I don’t think so.” Those slate eyes were piercing him, daring him, provoking him, and he scrambled up out of his chair, white hot with anger, gripping onto sharp elbows, glaring into his face.

“I said shut up,” he growled, his breath hot on Ellery’s face, and he in turn was seized, Ellery’s long fingers digging into his upper arms, as he forced his mouth on Ennis’s, prying his lips open with his tongue, pulling him into a hot kiss that was half rage, half passion, and Ennis responded automatically, his hands letting go the elbows and crushing him into a bear hug, a surge of lust making him hard once more, fueled by a helpless anger that had no proper outlet.

He fumbled his pants open and pulled Ellery up to his feet, marching him to the sofa and pushing him down onto his knees, then tore his briefs down , already thrusting blindly with his hips, then grabbed his cock, aiming it back into him with a savage thrust, then tightening his hands over his hips and riding him savagely, not stopping until he came with a strangled groan, feeling Ellery’s body shudder with orgasm beneath him.

He pulled out, slowly, feeling guilty and ashamed of his rage, running his hands down Ellery’s ass as if to console him after a rape, then backed away a step.

“Sweetheart,” Ellery said softly, his voice pitched with the husky tone of satisfied lust.

“Whut?” he asked, his heart thudding.

“Doughboys are burnin.”

L

[MaineWriter]

Chapter 89, two drunk boys, making toasts:

Ellery swayed slighty and leaned in, aiming his shot glass for a crooked collision with Ennis’s. “To respect.”

“Respect. Goddammitall,” Ennis grumbled, smiling crookedly, and took a gulp of scotch. “Fuckin great stuff, Ellery.”

“Thank you, Ennis. Only the best fer my sweetheart.”

“You know somethin? You are the only friend I got in the world right now, Ellery.”

Ellery grinned just as stupidly back at Ennis, and aimed his shot glass once more for another toast. “To friendship,” he announced, hiccuping.

“Ta friendship,” Ennis echoed, then gulped once more, sighing and looking up at the ceiling at their shadows.

“Yer moren a friend. That’s what I tol that girl. Moren a friend. Yer my ... yer my lover,” Ennis said, squinting at Ellery as if attempting to recognize him by this new title.

“That’s what they call it,” Ellery said softly.

“You like bein my lover, even though I pounded yer ass inta next week?” Ennis said, gazing with that squinting look, disoriented now.

“Yep. I’ll catch up with it next week sometime.”

“You ain’t mad at me?”

“No.”

“Not even if I tol ya ta shut up?”

“As long as ya didn’t gimme a black eye or nothin. Wes’d wonder.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” He hesitated, squeezing his eyes closed a long moment and then opening them. “I wouldn’t do that no more.”

“That’s good.”

“We ain’t got nothin ta ... clear up?”

“No. Yer upset. Yer daughter gave ya shit, ya just made a big decision. Could be worse. Might get worse.”

“Hope not. I hate feelin like this, like I got ta tear someone else’s heart out just so I can have my own life.”

“It’ll pass, you didn’t do nothin ta her on purpose.”

Ennis looked closely at Ellery. “She thinks I did. Gave me this song an dance about makin her momma cry all night every night I was away when I went ta see Jack –“ he slapped his hand on the mattress, making little sound, bouncing ineffectually. “Goddamn, I didn’t need that guilt.”

“Ennis, she don’t understand yet that there ain’t no place in society for queer love, an any time a man wants ta go for somethin he wants he has ta break a whole lotta rules an hurt people, cause everything is stacked against em. She probly thinks you can just go ta church Sunday mornin an Jesus’ll wash yer queer feelins away if only yer willin too, an that just ain’t so. A lot a people feel that way.”

“Shit, I thought that way. Marriage ceremony, for god an man an all that shit, and it didn’t do nothin ta me.”

“Ezzacly. So she’s jes ignorant.”

Ennis reached over, swaying heavily, and clinked his glass hard against Ellery’s. “Ta ignorance.”

Ellery lost his balance slightly, the scotch lapping up over the side of his glass. “Hey, watch it there... ta... what’d you jes say?”

“Ta ignorance.”

L

[MaineWriter]

And in Chapter 90, the moment we've all been waiting for:

“Yeah well… so one night I was workin late on a case… you’ll be hearin a lot a these in due course… maybe even getting ta have the glorious experience a wonderin when I’m getting home… so anyway I was workin late on a burglary thing…had ta go down ta Cheyenne for some case records cause we thought we had the same thing here as another string a burglaries down there… an gettin back it started in one a those rains, ya know, when the heavens open an God just tosses all the water back down wringin out his warsh.”

“Right.” He had been in a few of those himself. He moved his hands down, cautiously, noting that by now he was fully erect, the tip of his cock dragging across Ellery’s ass with every movement, and his breath was quickening.

“You getting excited?”

“I told ya don’t worry.”

“When ya get done I’ll take care a ya.”

“Go on, wringin out his warsh…”

“Right. So this big gust a wind come up, an course I didn’t slow down none, an it was dark, an I was tired, an I hydroplaned right into the guardrail. If I’d a been in a regular car I woulda be squished inside like a bug, but I was drivin a truck an just got folded up like an accordion.”

“Jesus Ellery. How fast was you goin?”

“I dunno, 80, 90.”

“Miracle yer still alive.”

“Oh yeah, well, Ford used ta make some real sturdy trucks, sweetheart.” His voice was soft, the sigh he made seemed to be not all relief at the massage, but perhaps in part, regret. “That wasn’t the worst part.”

“What was?”

“Bill. I got put in traction an he come ta see me in the hospital an when he found out I’d be like that a few weeks he was hoppin mad. Ain’t gonna be givin him what he wants in bed laid up like that.”

“He shoulda been happy you was still alive.”

“Well he was, for about fifteen twenty seconds I suppose. Ya know, maybe that was when he started stepping out on me, when I was in the hospital. Didn’t occur ta me at the time, but lookin back.”

“What a bastard. If it was me I woulda been there spoonin soup into yer mouth an rubbin lotion on yer feet.”

“Well that’s because.. you care, Ennis. That is why I love you like I do.”

Ennis’s hands froze mid stroke, and he looked up at the half averted face, and he saw Ellery glance up.

“What’d you say?”

“I said that is why I love you. You know that right?” Ellery’s voice was soft, but sure, unhesitating.

“Yeah I guess I do.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t spect you to say anythin.”

“Why not?” Ennis felt piqued by the comment.

“Cause I didn’t say it ta get ya ta say anythin. It’s just how I feel.”

Ennis took a deep breath. “Well… it’s how I feel too.”

“Good ta know, sweetheart. Now just… press… right there.”

Ennis obeyed, his face flaming hot with emotions. He had just admitted his love for Ellery, in that brief, unexpected moment. Or had he? He continued to concentrate on releasing the spasm in his back, saying nothing, listening to the signs and soft moans of the man beneath him, and dared not say anything for a long time.


L

[mariez]

Good Morning!

Thanks for the sharing the great pictures, Louise!  Leslile does pick out some wonderful quotes, doesn't she? 

I always remembered this little exchange in Chapter 87 for a couple of reasons:


“What are ya wearin?”

“Right now I’m wearin the corner a the bed sheet but I can take that off if ya want.”

Ennis’s breath stopped briefly, hitched. “Yeah.”

“Okay. I ain’t wearin nothing, an I look like a movie star, lyin in bed, naked an waitin for ya.”

“Make sure ta get dressed.”

“Yeah yeah. You want me ta wear my gun?”

“Nah, that’s okay. Guns make me nervous.”

“Okay, I’ll leave the gun off.”

“Where’s yer hand?”

“You know where my hand is.”

“Yeah.” Ennis mumbled the word out, squeezing his eyes closed, turning to lean in against the phone booth to hide his erection in case someone came by. “I’ll be there soon.”


First off, Ellery sure doesn't suffer from false modesty!     He is very much aware that he is one fine looking man!  (Later on when he is in the hospital in Riverton he thinks about what a good looking corpse he would make!   ).  Second, this is a peek at phone smex, Ennis style - Do you think Ennis was still too shy at this point to have gone any further on the phone?   I'm not sure he would have gone much further even if he weren't at a public phone booth! 

Thanks - Marie

[Marge_Innavera]

There was a comment in Chapter 86 that I hadn't taken much notice of on the first reading:
"It seems in this chapter that Junior is more upset with her Daddy leaving than him being a queer..."

One of the things we never get any details of, either in the story or film, is what goes on in Ennis' household when he's off with Jack on their "fishing trips."  These had to be bleak, bitter times for Alma, and when the girls were past early childhood they would have been aware that their father quit job after job, never took them or their mother on vacations, but was always off with this man -- there had to be some feeling there of being abandoned, which is every child's worst instictive fear.

It sounds here like Ellery is a stand-in for Jack in Junior's mind. Had his years-long affair when he was married to Alma been with a woman, there might have been some resentment at his moving in with a new 'honey', but in this context, he's in a relationship that isn't sanctioned by most of society so there's some added permission, so to speak, to be resentful. Very realistic response, IMO.

[louisev]

Both girls have suffered from being separated from their father, and this is a recurring theme in their wanting to take advantage of the new opportunities afforded by Ennis's improved circumstances, but at the outset, the first reaction was complete resentment at the feeling of being abandoned.  Again.  Very good observation!