Photo Captions - Irreverent! Beware

[CellarDweller]

Mama, Mama, does daddy put K Y Jelly on his toast?

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr.:  Momma, are those men from the circus?






Alma:  No sweetie, they'r what we call "attention whores."

[Sason]

Aguirre: You guys wasn't gettin paid to leave the dogs baby-sit the sheep
while you stemmed each other.

Jack and Ennis in chorus: "We TRIED to stem each other!
If you had spied on us a little more meticulously,
you'd have known that we never actually MANAGED to stem anything at all,
let alone each other!!
Hmpf! That damn Kama Sutra...

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


Geography






Alma Jr.:   Sure I know where Brokeback Mountain is!  That's where Daddy
               and Uncle Jack get their rocks off!

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


Religion






Alma Jr.:   Miss Crabtree....that whole "lie with mankind" thing,
                                 does that count if they're in a tent?

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


Mathematics






Alma Jr.:   Daddy catches 20 fish, and gives half to the neighbor,
                         how many does daddy have left?   I don't know, daddy
                         never did bring any fish home.

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


Home Ec.






Alma Jr.:   I know I'll be good in the kitchen!  Momma does
                        the cooking, and daddy knows how to hide the salami!

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


School Uniforms






Alma Jr.:   Momma says she likes the uniforms, she doesn't have
                           to worry about buying me new clothes.  Uncle Jack says they
                           lack imagination and take away our individuality, so he told
                           me to wear this big-ass bow in my hair!  Daddy just mumbled.

[CellarDweller]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


rumors






Alma Jr.:   Miss Crabtree, Stacey says that my Daddy and
                            Jack don't go up on Brokeback to fish.  Honestly, I think
                            her brain is pulled too tight from all those damn bows in
                            her hair.   And that's why her face looks that way, too!

[Penthesilea]

Alma Jr. - - -  The Middle School Years


Religion






Alma Jr.:   Miss Crabtree....that whole "lie with mankind" thing,
                                 does that count if they're in a tent?

 


Miss Crabtree: No, sweetheart, it doesn't apply. Don't worry about it. Now you give your daddy and Uncle Jack some privacy so they'll be happy campers.