To understand the inspiration for this thread you will have to go here:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=571.0 and read about my very sureal dream.
But Swoff(in my dream) got me thinking; what would go in a Brokeback Survival Pack? And as I couldn't get too sleep and I was already thinking about it, here is what I came up with at 3 am(plus Starboards briliant contributions):
- Two cowboy hats, one black and one white
- One cake with only one cherry in it
- A couple of infatable sheep
- One pup tent (sorry about the smell)
- One clock set to 8:45
- A few Better most bean cans
- One squashed harmonica
- One plastic fish (to show Alma that you really have been "Fishing")
- Some coffee (but it is only to be offered to strangers that come to your house to grieve the lost of your son, so you won't use it that offen!)
- One coffee can containing $24(no more, you don't want to spoil your kids now do you?)
- A can of fomula(you don't need all those 120 cans!)
- One electric carving knife
- One belt with a rodeo buckle
- 2 apples(it has to be two otherwise that is one mutilated kyote)
- 1 rose for stemming now and then
- A few bottles of "Old Rose! whiskey(The boys can't rely on the whisky spring all the time, they need back ups)
- 1 Oscar statuette(don't tell the Crash cast)
- A toy combine harvester(To show you kid who to do stunts such as driving with no hands and wheelies)
- A pack of crayons to give to your kids so they won't get part snacks eveywhere
- ketchup bottle that has a lable that says "condements" on it (so you don't get confused)
- 1 blue parka (so you don't freeze to death, and blue so it matches you eyes)
- 1 sombrero(we all know what that is for)
- 1 giant turquoze ring (Lureen or Austin's)
- 1 picture of and Elk on a dart board
- 1 speckled teapot
- 2 neck tags that say "We are sheep herders not cowboys, damn it!"
- gotta have a 30/30
- fire retardant boots
- apple pie (when you're alone)
- don't forget the tooth brush
- some pesos
- 1 pair of worn binoculars
- A zippo lighter
- 2 brown paper bags(come in use to carry things and if you start to hyperventilate)
- 1 can opener (you have to be good with one of these *NOT*)
- 1 potato peeler (for you to pretend to be using while tha man of your dreams wa(r)shes behind you)
- A knife and fork (for you to take your lover to!)
- A "Water Walkin' Jesus" lyrics sheet
- a book on "correct" pronounciations
- A book explaining what the pentacost actually is
- A pack of band-aids (in case you are sore from that punch)
- Tisusses (they come in extra handy if both of your children have colds at the same time)
- A clown nose
- Fire works for the 4th of July celebrations (it also helps if you have a kid who looks like the milky bar kid to play around with them before hand)
- A kurt baseball card
- A book on certain animal matin' calls
- A GUY NAMED KYLE!
red= Starboards contributions
LOL that was fun!
What would you put in your Brokeback survival pack?
