Getting Ready
(September 1985)
Alma Jr. set the candles in the candleholders and placed the matches next to them. She stepped back and looked at the set table, all her nicest things were out. The plates of white china with the pink flowers that she bought from the old lady down the street, and the silverware from the partial set that Kurt’s mother gave to her after they got married. They lay upon a white tablecloth with lace cutouts that her Momma gave her, right after they moved into the little house, but she didn’t visit much anymore. Even with the baby.
“Kurt, they’ll be here soon, will you please get ready? Please!!” Kurt got off the couch and went to the refrigerator and took out another beer.
“Jeez, Alma” he said. “I don’t get what all this fuss is about, just for your daddy. What does he matter anyway? It’s not like he can give us any money.”
“Kurt, please, just this once, can’t you……can’t you just be nice?” Alma pleaded, and stared at him, looking at despair at his old, torn blue jeans, and dirty t-shirt. “Can’t you just get dressed nice, just this once?” she implored. “At least put on that leather belt I got you, not that ugly rope thing you always wear.”
Kurt took his beer and went back to the couch. Alma stared after him, and sighed, a long, deep sigh. She went to the bedroom, and checked on the baby in the second hand crib. She straightened the thin sheet over him, and gently touched his cheek. Then she checked herself once more in the mirror, rubbing the darkness under her eyes, and then carefully closed the door. She really hoped the baby would sleep for awhile, and not cry and cry like he always does this time of day. She walked by the drab living room again.
“Kurt, please!!!!” she begged.
“What the fuck?” Kurt yelled. “Who the hell is this guy that’s comin’ with your daddy anyway? Who the fuck cares?” He lit another cigarette, and turned to the tv once more.
Alma stared at him, then went to the front door. She stepped outside. There wasn’t a car on the road. She slumped against the door.
“I care” Alma Jr. said to herself. She wanted it to be perfect this time. She didn’t want anything to go wrong. She already had far too many regrets in her life, she didn’t need one more.