Rayn, are you saying you think Ennis made the right choice in rejecting Jack's idea?
Others may see it differently, but I consider the movie's central tragedy to be Ennis' decision to play by society's rules rather than spend his life with Jack, and his reaching a full appreciation of their relationship only after it was too late.
No, I'm not saying Ennis made the "
right choice" in rejecting Jack's ideas. I don't allow right or wrong (morality) or correct or incorrect or even skilled or unskilled to enter the picture where Ennis or Jack's choices are concerned. I allow them to make their own choices and then live with them.
As I see it, it's not a question of right or wrong for either. Ennis made the choices
he was able to make being the man he was and to do otherwise would have been to be someone else. I find no fault in that. That's just the way Ennis was and I accept him that way and so did Jack, mostly.
Also, Ennis did not reject Jack's ideas entirely, nor did Jack reject ideas Ennis had. They compromised with each other so they could be together as often & as much as each of their situations would allow. I don't think it was a black and white situation for either of them. There is much room for nuance in the story and for the subtle shades of grey that often make human existence livable.
I look at Ennis's love for his daughters and for Alma too. He didn't hate her. He defended her even to Jack. I think Ennis can be faulted for maybe trying to take on too much and please everyone, but that's not as large a weakness in his character as some of the others he struggled with.
I also don't consider
the central tragedy of the story to be Ennis' decision not to live with Jack. I see it as
Jack's death because it was possible, given more life and time together, that Ennis might have finally given into Jack. But with Jack's death, all hope of that is snuffed out. That to me is the tragedy. Jack was only 39 years old... so was Ennis, or about that age. There was so much room for development of their relationship in coming years, you see? I can't imagine them ending their friendship, so I see a chance for development and improvement.
So, yes, you're very right,
latjoreme, I see the story in a very different way. We can speculate about "how it might have been if" which is fun for discussion, but I try to see and accept the characters and story for what they were in reality and reality always lends itself to mystery, possibility and change.
Peace,
Rayn
PS: I love this forum and having people to exchange ideas with about BBM, thank you all for being here!