The "Ask a Stoopid Question - Get a Stoopid Answer" Game

[Lumière]

Q:   What does pointless phrase "the hell" inserted into a question have to do with the actual question?

A:   It enhances the question - making the questioner sound more intelligent to the questionee.

Q:   When Jack told Lureen: "I like the direction your going", what direction is that??

[Pipedream]

Q: When Jack told Lureen: "I like the direction your going", what direction is that??

A:  South. It’s always south where it’s hot.

Q: Was Jack really waiting for a matin’ call?

[Sheriff Roland]

Q: Was Jack really waiting for a matin’ call?

A: Yea maybe. Maybe he's Australian "Hey Mate!"

Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?

[Pipedream]

Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?

A: Well, a woman can never have enough shoes and it’s obviously the same with cowboys and shirts…

Q: Remember the lake scene dialogue? Why was Ennis too much for Jack?

 

[MtBecky]

Q: Remember the lake scene dialogue? Why was Ennis too much for Jack?

A: Because Lureen had put Jack on a strict allowance and the price of Ennis's had gone up in the last month.


Q:  Why was the place Jack's parents had, called Lightnin Flat?

[Arad-3]

Q:  Why was the place Jack's parents had, called Lightnin Flat?

A:  It was named after John Twist's favorite soap opera. 'The World Revolves Around Lightnin Flat'  It was the one that  Susan Lucci got her start.

Q: Why did Jack feel like he needed a quick shave?



MtBecky your so funny!

[Pipedream]

Q: Why did Jack feel like he needed a quick shave?

A: Well, there wasn’t enough stubble to justify a looong one… Besides it offered him an excuse to show off his butt.   

Q: Given Jack had knocked it there, what would L.D. Newsome’s ignorant ass have done in the next week?

[Lumière]

Q: Given Jack had knocked it there, what would L.D. Newsome’s ignorant ass have done in the next week?

A:  LD's ignorant ass would've consumed all the left-over turkey from the Thanksgiving dinner!  He'd have saved Bobby the worry of "eating that stuff for the next 2 weeks".

Q:  If Jack and Ennis were really into rose-stemming, how come there were no rose petals all over the tent??

[Pipedream]

Q:  If Jack and Ennis were really into rose-stemming, how come there were no rose petals all over the tent??

A:  Jack always put them away immediately because he collected them. Wanted to surprise Ennis with a song he had written and which Bon Jovi happened to cover years later: "I want to lay you down on a bed of roses." Of course he needed quite a few rose petals to make a bit of an impression with that...

Q:  Why did Jack stick his boot into the fire?

 

[GG]

Q:  Why did Jack stick his boot into the fire?

A:   Because he thought Ennis would scoop him in his arms and carry him out of harms way.

Q:Why was Jack washing his clothes naked the next day?