Author Topic: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence  (Read 56289 times)

Offline BelAir

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2008, 09:35:36 pm »
It's so interesting to see the intensely personal perspectives we're all probably bringing to this question.  I think each of our reactions to this particular situation with Jake just has so much to do with all of our own feelings about grief and loss (and also our own personal ideas about how best to respond to grief and loss - both in terms of personal reaction and public etiquette). 

This is really such an incredibly intense thing to be going through and working through as a community.   :'(




I agree with you very much on that last point Amanda, and I think everyone has been really good about striving to express their own opinions, rather than judging others whose opinions may differ...
"— a thirst for life, for love, and for truth..."

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2008, 10:02:00 pm »
It's so interesting to see the intensely personal perspectives we're all probably bringing to this question.  I think each of our reactions to this particular situation with Jake just has so much to do with all of our own feelings about grief and loss (and also our own personal ideas about how best to respond to grief and loss - both in terms of personal reaction and public etiquette). 

This is really such an incredibly intense thing to be going through and working through as a community.
 :'(




This sums up the situation succintly, I think the bold part is especially true here.  Each side has their own reasons and logic, not any one side is more true than the other. 

Offline myprivatejack

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2008, 06:43:34 am »
My father passed away less than 24 hours before Heath.  I was deeply saddened by both events.  Because he was my father, I needed to spend most of the next week dealing with all of the events associated with his passing.  This included taking my mother to see him at the nursing home after he passed away, going to the funeral home the next day with my mother and my siblings to make final decisions, as well as attending his funeral and accepting condolences from family and friends.  I have very little experience with death or funerals, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  We received comments, visits, cards, condolences, tears, smiles, and hugs from family members, old friends, new friends, and strangers as well.  With so much love and concern pouring forth from so many different directions, I can't believe that keeping totally private is appropriate.  No one was obliged to pay their respects to my father, they just did because it was the right thing to do.


My condolences for your loss;I've already passed for this situation,so if you need some support or stuff,count on me. :)
I agree with all you say about other people's,specially friends and relatives,behaviour in this case; nobody have obliged to say or do anything,they don't owe you anything,nobody has told them what to do in situations like this...But there's something one must have for oneself,without others persons pressure: RESPECT.
I like your silences,quiet conversations of evident sensations,where our words are life´s tinsels.
The lost illusions are the found truths.

Offline souxi

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2008, 08:08:28 am »
Well I voted for; "I think it,s wierd". I think we could go on and on debating this issue forever, but until Jake actually says something, I don,t think we,ll ever know why he hasn,t said anything. I am surprised he hasn,t yes. I think his fans were certainly expecting him too, given that Michelle and Heaths parents said something, not to mention mumerous other famous people. No he doesn,t owe anyone anything and if he really doesn,t want to say anything then he doesn,t have too. I just find it a bit strange though. It could of course simply be that he,s a private person and he prefers to keep his private thoughts about this to himself, who knows. Whatever he,s doing and wherever he is, I hope he,s well and happy. He certainly looks happy in the pictures with Reese.

Offline Fran

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2008, 09:46:15 am »
I had posted the following -- in hindsight in the wrong place -- on the Heath Heath Heath thread:

Getting back to Jake's lack of a public statement, well, how difficult is it to release a statement through one's agent or press secretary?  Isn't that part of the reason actors have agents and press secretaries? 

You know, I wasn't expecting Jake to call a press conference or sit down for a televised interview or release a 16-paragraph eulogy.  A simple statement released to the public on the order of "I am deeply saddened by the loss of Heath, and my heart aches for his family and friends.  He will be missed" would have been sufficient for me and probably for lots of other people, too.

Yes, Jake is entitled to his privacy, and I'm certainly not expecting him to bear his soul to the public at large.  But he should have issued some sort of statement if for no other reason than because his fans were expecting one.  They wanted to hear from him.  For a good while there, Jake had many of his fans worried about how he was faring after Heath's death.  He owed those fans something for their concern.

I interpret his inaction as inconsideration and disrespect -- not toward Heath or his family but towards Jake's own fans.  When you're a celebrity, dealing with your fans is part of the package.  It's one of the prices you pay for your fame.  If you want to live in total obscurity, you don't become an actor.

I can understand why people are disappointed in him.

I voted for "I am disappointed in Jake...." even though that statement is probably worded too strongly when it comes down to my actual feelings on the matter.  I consider myself more of a BBM fan than a Heathen or a Gyllenhaalic, so it's really not my personal disappointment I'm addressing here but that of Jake's fans (and Heath's fans, too) who desperately wanted to hear something from him.

Look at it this way:  had Jake issued some little statement, this whole matter would have been over.  It wouldn't still be a topic of discussion here at BetterMost... or anywhere else for that matter.  Someone -- his agent, a family member, a close friend -- should have pulled him aside and advised him to issue a short statement, even if he didn't want to, because it was the sensible thing to do.  In fact, I'm kind of surprised that he didn't see the logic in issuing some sort of statement from the very beginning:  Jake issues a statement, the press and fans have what they want, and everyone moves on to other news.  As things stand now, you can bet that anyone interviewing him with regard to an upcoming film is going to ask him about Heath and his reaction to news of his death.  He's going to have to say something at some point, so it seems to me that all he did was prolong the process, create more intrigue, and upset some members of his fanbase.  His not issuing a statement really makes no sense to me.


Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2008, 09:57:41 am »
I had posted the following -- in hindsight in the wrong place -- on the Heath Heath Heath thread:

I voted for "I am disappointed in Jake...." even though that statement is probably worded too strongly when it comes down to my actual feelings on the matter.  I consider myself more of a BBM fan than a Heathen or a Gyllenhaalic, so it's really not my personal disappointment I'm addressing here but that of Jake's fans (and Heath's fans, too) who desperately wanted to hear something from him.

Look at it this way:  had Jake issued some little statement, this whole matter would have been over.  It wouldn't still be a topic of discussion here at BetterMost... or anywhere else for that matter.  Someone -- his agent, a family member, a close friend -- should have pulled him aside and advised him to issue a short statement, even if he didn't want to, because it was the sensible thing to do.  In fact, I'm kind of surprised that he didn't see the logic in issuing some sort of statement from the very beginning:  Jake issues a statement, the press and fans have what they want, and everyone moves on to other news.  As things stand now, you can bet that anyone interviewing him with regard to an upcoming film is going to ask him about Heath and his reaction to news of his death.  He's going to have to say something at some point, so it seems to me that all he did was prolong the process, create more intrigue, and upset some members of his fanbase.  His not issuing a statement really makes no sense to me.



Hi Fran,
I agree with what you just wrote.  I'm also coming to this whole situation as a BBM fan... and not a person who really identifies as either a Heathen or a Gyllenhaalic.  I always have thought that the balance between the two was an important element to Brokie fandom.

Anyway,  like you mentioned, I'm perplexed by the situation from a "PR" standpoint too.  You're right that this is just becoming prolonged.  And as I mentioned on another thread... we're just all going to go around and around in circles speculating and debating (with very little to go on) until Jake begins to make real public appearances again.  I'm sure you're right that interviewers will be asking him about Heath when he begins to do promotions for upcoming projects, etc.  I'm sure we'll learn more about what's going on eventually. But for now, this really does seem to be a topic stuck in limbo.




the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline myprivatejack

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2008, 11:19:32 am »
The problem is that,as you say atz75,we're going to go round and round in circles,repeating the same words and concepts over and over again...I've spoken more than a time about respect,and for me it's the most important of all this.Respect for Heath's memory,respect for his family,respect for his closest friends...And a rather meaningful point that Fran has said and which I haven't tought about before-even if I consider myself a Gyllenhalic,or maybe because of this...-:respect for all the fans who could feel worried about his emotional situation.
Fans whom he doesn't owe anything,it's true,beyond his public image;but whom he owe,that's for sure,enough fame as we're speaking about this situation now...All who admired his work and,even,his look have contributed to his fame and his reputation in movie's world,whatever he thinks or not...It's not necessary for him or for anybody else to make a press conference to say how he feels,I have repeated this until being bored;his words could be taken in a wrong sense for some dirty-minded persons and,maybe,his agent has recommended him to be silent.That's right for me.
But you're only speaking about this possibility of SPEAK; but for me the most important is TO DO.And we haven't read or heard anything that shows he has shared some public or private act in Heath's memory.That's the weirdest thing for me.Do you know what has happenned here with all this stuff?That all of us,Brokies,Heathens and Gyllenhalics,moved by a love to the movie and,as a consequence,to all the persons who contributed to its filming,have confused the story with the reality.As if Heath and Jake must be a kind of little Ennis and Jack in real life,if not lovers,the best friends of the world.And maybe they were only coworkers in a successful movie and nothing else than a certain friendship that lasted what the promotional work lasted.That's what I'm coming to believe,according to what I'm seeing.
I like your silences,quiet conversations of evident sensations,where our words are life´s tinsels.
The lost illusions are the found truths.

Offline optom3

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2008, 12:08:19 pm »
Well I am puzzled,by his reaction.Not annoyed,not even upset,just puzzled.If nothing else after any death of someone you are associated with,etiquette usually prevails.

I remain unconvinced he has done something in private,merely because in this day of invasive press and nothing is sacrosanct,I am sure it would have emerged by now.

With respect to the man,I have never lost anyone close,as yet.So I have no idea how I would react.Could it be his grief/shock was too great, initially,and then as it lessened.it was just too late.Who knows.Or did he just misjudge public reaction,then leave it too late.
I will not judge,because years ago when Princess Diana died,I was perplexed to say the least,at the public reaction.I just did not get it, and was somewhat scathing.Then hey presto,I am suddenly pole axed by the death of Heath.So we just never know.

Lets be honest,the Queen  completely misjudged her initial reaction to the death of Diana,and was lambasted in the press over it.She is surrounded by advisers,and yet got it wrong.By the time she issued a statement,it really was too late.It looked like the after thought it was.If after decades of duty and royal deaths,surrounded by advisers,with a wealth of experience,she can still get it so wrong,then I guess Jake certainly can.

I hope it does not come back to bite him.Particularly,if he took advise on how to react or not as the case might be.Heath is gone and we cannot change that.It would be too bad if Jake then suffers a career slump as well.Maybe like the Queen he was just given bad advice.We all get it wrong sometimes,particularly if it s our first time dealing with a particular situation personally.Sometimes we even get it wrong with the very best of intentions.

I just hope,that one day Matilda will get comfort from the knowledge of how deeply her father touched so many.In much the same way I am sure Diana's children gained comfort,from those whose lives their mother touched.

Offline MilAn

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2008, 01:14:17 pm »
I voted "disappointed". I already expressed my feelings in HHH, but i'll repost it here:
When asked after the BAFTA ceremony if Ang Lee was the Godfather of Matilda, because Ang called himslef "matchmaker", Heath and Michelle said that it's Jake actually. Later during a press conference Jake confirmed he was the Godfather. Ever since press mentioned the fact every now and then.
It seemed that Jake and Heath were very close during BBM promotion, but we really can not know for sure how close they remained (you don't have to be close to your kid's Godparents btw). The one lived in L.A. the other in N.Y. I believe they saw each other every now and then, but that's about it. Each had their own life.
I'm sure Jake, when he heard about Heath's death was very sad, but i doubt he was as devastated as some claimed. He even went to a Rufus Wainwright concert days after Heath's death, or shopping in Soho with Reese over a month ago etc. Life has to go on and his main priority at the moment seems to be his girlfriend. I also didn't expect him to react like Jack Twist would have reacted if Ennis Del Mar had died before him. I can distinguish reality from fiction and while i understand that life goes on and he has other priorities in his real life, a statement/tribute would have been a sign of respect towards Heath, I personally appreciated all the tributes from Heath's family members, friends and colleagues. Jake for whatever reason, may it be personal or professional, decided not to do it and i don't think we will get anything from him. If we want it or not, we must accept it and move on.

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Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2008, 02:55:04 pm »
And maybe they were only coworkers in a successful movie and nothing else than a certain friendship that lasted what the promotional work lasted.That's what I'm coming to believe,according to what I'm seeing.

That's what I came to believe too, even before Heath died.