Alma? It ain't her fault. - Whose fault is it?

[RouxB]

                                                     

[serious crayons]

Tiawahcowboy, we all have our opinions.

The point is, the filmmakers are under no obligation to follow the story to the letter. Few if any movie versions of books do, simply because books are books and movies are movies and the two media have different requirements. As adaptations go, I'd say this is more faithful than most. I read the story first, and my impression after seeing the movie was that it was very similar to the story.

But sure, there are characters added and details changed in Brokeback, and no doubt the filmmakers had their reasons. To me, it doesn't make sense to criticize one in terms of the other. However, Tiawahcowboy, if you like to compare the two, or even if you want to condemn any aspects of the movie that differ from the book, that's fine and it's your business. Just don't expect everyone else to agree that differences are the same as faults.

 

[tiawahcowboy]

I don't expect everybody to agree with me on anything in the BetterMost - Brokeback Mountain Forums Board. In fact, no one is required to agree with any other BetterMost member either.

I find in interesting here that every time I give my opinion on something, one or more of the members, definitely not Phillip, take it upon themselves to attempt to teach me something which I already know in the first place.

I am not a know-it-all; but, I certainly know a lot about a lot of things. If I had known that I was going to have to defend myself on internet forum boards like one has to defend his thesis for a master or doctorate degree, I would have taken more notes of my sources.

BTW, I do have a BA in Education and a Master of Education degree, too.

[slayers_creek_oth]

As a reminder - BetterMost policy requests all personal issues and confrontations should be handled via a Private Message and NOT on the board! 

Thanks,
Chris

[Phillip Dampier]

I am not a know-it-all; but, I certainly know a lot about a lot of things. If I had known that I was going to have to defend myself on internet forum boards like one has to defend his thesis for a master or doctorate degree, I would have taken more notes of my sources.

BTW, I do have a BA in Education and a Master of Education degree, too.

The reason you are not winning people over to your side is that they consider your replies to them to be negative and, at times, condescending.  I have said this to you before and I'll repeat myself.  You will win a lot more people over to your position if you are respectful of other's interpretations and points of view.  The only one who has all the answers about BBM the short story is Annie Proulx.  The only ones who have all the answers about the movie are those involved in making it.  The only ones who have all the answers about what the movie did to us is EACH OF US, as individuals.  What works for one person may/may not work for another, but that doesn't make that view wrong.

As a writer myself, I know how important it is to win over an audience to a point of view, and that cannot be accomplished if your readers feel they've been insulted or demeaned.  You can win a rhetorical battle but lose the war by losing your audience. 

I encourage you, along with everyone, to stay positive and supportive of your fellow users.  Always respect others' views even if you don't agree with them.  I want every user here to feel welcome and valued, but I can't do it alone.

Thanks for understanding.

[tiawahcowboy]

Apparently, I don't communicate in the same regional American English as those who think that I am being condescending.

I guess that I am just too outspoken for those who don't live in the central part of the USA, which historically speaking is the OLD West, too, and they never grew up around people llike I have.

[Phillip Dampier]

Apparently, I don't communicate in the same regional American English as those who think that I am being condescending.

I guess that I am just too outspoken for those who don't live in the central part of the USA, which historically speaking is the OLD West, too, and they never grew up around people llike I have.

It's not about the dictionary.  It's about attitude.  The reply I was sort of hoping for was along the lines of "I understand your friendly reminder and I want others to know I do value their views and I'm sorry if my writing style comes across as being unfriendly - I'm really not."  Instead we got the equivalent of "I can't help it if people don't read my messages and understand them and that I am outspoken and opinionated and that's the way it is."

We have nearly 400 people on here from all over the world.  The vast overwhelming majority of folks on here get along with one another, and there are lots of outspoken folks here too, but spirited discussions can be had without it coming down to taking shots at one another.  You've seen that doesn't work on the other forums you've been on, and it hasn't worked well here either, so I encourage you to try a different approach.  It would be great to see your messages taken more positively by others here because it would be more enjoyable around here for you and everyone else.  I said that to you several weeks ago as well.

I share this guidance with you as a friend and as your host.  Take my advice in that spirit and thanks for reading.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Thank you, Philip, and thank you, Katherine, for your contributions as host and moderator.

I would add, too, that I would hope that no one here would take disagreement as personal attack, nor would anyone respond to a disagreement of opinion with hostility or a personal attack. There is a difference between being outspoken or plainspoken and being hostile.

[slayers_creek_oth]

Thank you, Philip, and thank you, Katherine, for your contributions as host and moderator.

I would add, too, that I would hope that no one here would take disagreement as personal attack, nor would anyone respond to a disagreement of opinion with hostility or a personal attack. There is a difference between being outspoken or plainspoken and being hostile.

I agree!  Nicely put Jeff...

[Phillip Dampier]

I would add, too, that I would hope that no one here would take disagreement as personal attack, nor would anyone respond to a disagreement of opinion with hostility or a personal attack. There is a difference between being outspoken or plainspoken and being hostile.

I absolutely agree.  Difference of opinion is not hostility.  If I said Jack Twist was obviously a secret member of the Hitler Youth and he joined to hide his homosexuality, that wouldn't be hostility or a personal attack - it would just be wrong... real wrong.    But you can still say it on here.  You should expect to hear others say, "Phil, that is wrong" and that is not a personal attack.  If you wrote, "Phil, I have already called 911 to have them come take you away to get you back on your mind pills and get your head shocked because you are CRAZY," that probably would be.

If you debate an opinion, that's fine.  If you want to debate the person giving the opinion, I'd normally say take it to a PM.  I felt it appropriate to bring this up publicly since this thread got a bit too heated earlier and I felt the points being made were important, but that it might be better for me to try and make them to try and establish a dialogue and, fingers crossed, get a resolution.