from chapter 50
The afternoon was waning… and so far the day had been consumed by Ellery’s work. This had to be bothering Ennis, he thought. He wondered if his exhaustion were a way for Ennis to escape from the inescapable reality of murder, assault, and hatred. He had avoided it all of his life, after the horror of seeing the consequences of men expressing their love for one another openly… and now, Ellery had convinced Ennis to take the chance he had avoided for his entire adult life, and his life – both of their lives -- had now been threatened repeatedly. Ennis had been beaten, punched, hit over the head, kidnapped and shot at – all in the same week. And yet – he had not blamed Ellery, or his job, or his position at the Red Stallion, for what had happened, even though they were largely responsible. If Ellery were not doing police work – he would not have been targeted by Brad Sevigny and his plot, and Ennis would not have been beaten and kidnapped. If Ellery had not been on Amos Marigold’s hit list, due to his professional contact with him, they would not have been shot at.
For the second time that day, Ellery found himself ruminating. About Ennis, about their relationship… and about his career. Ennis had said he did not want to get rid of the bar, even after what had happened to him there. Ellery wondered whether it would make Ennis happier if Ellery were to give up his job. But could he give it up?
He didn’t think Ennis would ever ask him to. But maybe… considering how threatening Ellery’s work had become to both of them – it would be the best thing to do. Ellery didn’t have to stay in this little house, pretending to be a middle class civil servant. That was his retreat from his past, from his family… from the legacy his father had also shunned. He could afford a luxurious home, as remote from the world as they desired, with as much land as they wanted, to ride through on horsebac, lock themselves away from the strife and violence of the outside world and be together – alone.
There was a great temptation in this – but even as he fantasized about taking Ennis away to a private wilderness all their own, he knew that he himself could never be happy this way. It would be like running away.
The only way out – was through. Capture and convict the killers, nail Sevigny on whatever conspiracy he was involved in, put the bad guys away. That is why Ellery worked when he did not need to. To make the world safer for his kind.