Author Topic: <-- Introduce Yourself -->  (Read 502250 times)

Offline kula

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Hello BetterMost!
« Reply #140 on: April 16, 2006, 01:20:37 am »
Hey brokies,

My name is not easy to pronounce in Spanish, but you can use the nickname I let my friends call me: Moi.  I'm a 29 yr. old Hispanic gay male (who hasn't been able to accept it 'til around my mid-twenties), the youngest of 4 brothers.  I've been living in San Diego all of my life and can't think of anywhere else I'd like to be; great weather here.  I've been lurking a few forums now since I became a brokeaholic in late January.  It is too bad about IMDb, but I'm just glad I have the spirit of Jack and Ennis growing inside me; I will not be wasting days of my life in numbness like I used to. 

I've been rather aloof during my attendance at some universities and colleges since the late nineties, majoring in the wrong degree, failing many classes, and constantly playing computer games to escape from reality. But now I know I want to work in healthcare where I can help others and feel great doing it. I'm looking forward to putting my right foot forward towards my educational goals in the years ahead, taking care of my health, making new friends, being better to myself... all thanks to a newfound hope that was instilled within me. 

I don't know if there ever will be another movie like Brokeback Mountain, I have never been able to relate to a character in a movie as much as in this one. I have not been in love before, but I have felt the sting of rejection... from a best friend in high school who suddenly began ignoring me.  I have had problems making close friends ever since as I tend to keep my distance from everyone.  If I had the opportunity to see her again I would hug her and tell her how much her friendship meant to me while it lasted, not caring about what it was we fought about. It's in the past!  Our existence here is too short to dwell in all the negative stuff.  Oh and there was Mr. Thorpe, my 9th grade AVID teacher who died of cancer the following year, and I never had a chance to really get to know him. But I felt that he knew I was "different" from the other boys and he treated me in such a nurturing way. I wish he was alive today so I could thank him for cheering me up on those days when he noticed the times I felt "different" and alone, he was a real friend but I was too young and naive to realize it.  There are probably many more lost opportunities, but I don't want to add any more to them.

My oldest brother listens to a radio talkshow host called Michael Savage, and I hear this man is very biased towards gays, thinking they are all addicted to sex, clubs, and drugs, or something.  Well  I have just lent my copy of "Story to Screenplay" book and the Brokeback DVD to my brother's wife who is a real sweetie. I just hope she understands the movie and likes it enough to show it to my brother, because I have a feeling my brother won't want to. Anyway, I'll love him just the same whether he watches it or not.  :-]

Thanks to the staff here at BetterMost for the work you put in, and especially to Phil for giving us the space to share our thoughts and what not.  I'll try and post when I can.  Peace out!

-Moi

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Hello BetterMost!
« Reply #141 on: April 16, 2006, 05:28:37 am »
My name is not easy to pronounce in Spanish, but you can use the nickname I let my friends call me: Moi.

Hey there Moi, what a sweet introduction.  By the way, is your name as difficult to pronounce in English as it is in Spanish?  Just kidding, welcome to BetterMost. ;)

Welcome everyone who's joined recently, your intro's have been so nice to read.  Our family grows!
Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable - William Shakespeare

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #142 on: April 16, 2006, 09:43:13 am »
Wow, Tom.  With very few exceptions, you just told my story.  I've seen Brokeback Mountain five times in the theater and four (the fourth last night) on DVD.  Like you (and pretty much everyone else here, you'll soon see), I've never been so affected by any piece of art in my life.  I too have cried in the shower, while making dinner, in my car, in bed in the middle of the night, thinking about these characters.  And I've changed things, too, because of this movie.  Not as dramatically as you have (and good for you by the way!) but in many small but significant ways.  This movie actually made me appreciate the love my husband and I share and the love we both have for our son much more.  I'm lucky enough that I enjoy my job, but I've made a change in my approach to it - basically, I've let go of the fear of failure that has held me back - that has made me better at it.  And it's given me even more compassion for the gay men I work with every day than I had before.  I always prided myself on what a progressive  thinker I was, but even so I had no idea - had never really thought about - how difficult life is for gay men in our society.  Even openly gay men who for all intents and purposes seem to have been accepted.  It made me think about how all these men I work with who have longtime partners never bring them to company-sponsored social events - how they themselves never even attend.  And how some of them keep that part of their lives completely seperate - with no photos or mementos in their offices like I take for granted I can put up as much of as I want and by never mentioning them, even when I'm discussing how difficult it is to live with a man sometimes and they're enjoying and understanding what I have to say.  This movie's made me think "Why does it have to be this way?" with a passion I never had in thinking that before.  I used to let people get away with saying bigoted/homophobic things.  I would change the subject rather than confront them about it.  Not anymore.  Now I challenge them.  I say, "What makes you say something like that?"  Or "Why do you feel that way?"  It absolutely floors them.  Generally, they have no answer.  And they go off fuming.  Good.  That's what I want.  I want to force them to rethink their narrow-minded views.  If nothing else, they won't spew that crap in my presence again.  And they'll think twice before they spew it in the general direction of anyone else they don't know for a fact is a bigot like they are.  One way or another, it forces them out of their sand-cave and into the light.  With repeated viewings, I've not only felt the grief I felt for these two characters start to heal in a way, but I've become more and more empowered to take a stand on their behalf.

I'm so grateful to be alive right here, right now, as the song goes, and be a part of the awakening this movie has inspired.

And I'm Barb, by the way.  Good to know you, Tom.  :)
« Last Edit: April 16, 2006, 07:24:04 pm by ednbarby »
No more beans!

Offline Chaplin_fan

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Thanks, Barb!
« Reply #143 on: April 16, 2006, 10:33:18 am »
Thank you so much for your beautiful and moving post.  It really choked me up---especially the part where you said it made you think about things in a way you hadn't before, despite having considered yourself a progressive thinker.

That, I think, is why so many of us (gay men) are embracing this film (well, one reason among many). You see, there have been many other gay-themed movies in the past (although pitifully few in comparison), but I think this is the first one that expresses, and so well, the idea of what gay people--especially men, especially in rural America--go through.  The deep-seated denial, the self-loathing, the fear...I think there are many, many people who just don't think about it, because they've never had to.  I can't even imagine the luxury of not thinking about it.  I am totally out in my job, and speak of my partner the way anyone would speak of his or her spouse, and Steve has gone to company events with me, and I to his. We are pretty fortunate in that regard, as we've never had a negative experience.  But that doesn't mean we would ever take for granted the opportunities we enjoy that so many millions (yes, millions) are denied--or deny themselves--because of ignorance, bigotry and cruelty.  I knew more than my share of the other end of that spectrum, growing up in a rural area permeated by small-mindedness and ignorance. Having to hide oneself in order to not make others uncomfortable is horribly dehumanizing, and will eventually devastate one's soul to the point where it will whither and die.  Thanks to this film, and the effect it is having on people, I have hope that that type of self-denial and self-destruction will go the way of the dinosaurs. It is totally counter-productive to humanity, and homophobia destroys everyone it touches.
Bless you for speaking up now, and challenging those who would otherwise feel themselves worthy of a platform from which to spew their venomous bile.  May we all challenge people on their bigotry, in all its forms, whenever it rears its hideous, insidious head.  That is how it will eventually be extinguished.
Peace,
Tom
« Last Edit: April 18, 2006, 03:53:53 pm by Chaplin_fan »
Homophobia can be cured.

Offline OddlyEven

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #144 on: April 16, 2006, 05:21:05 pm »
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I was recently invited here by a very kind person who was telling everyone about this safe haven from the trolls on that other board. I have a feeling most of you will know which place I'm talking about here so I won't even mention it.

My name is Darrell and I'm from Ohio. I am happy to call myself a Brokie and I can't quit this movie and I'm proud of that as well. I'm looking forward to posting here. ;)
Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, unfold me, I am small and needy, warm me up and Breathe me.

Offline Impish

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #145 on: April 16, 2006, 07:26:39 pm »
My name is Darrell and I'm from Ohio. I am happy to call myself a Brokie and I can't quit this movie and I'm proud of that as well. I'm looking forward to posting here. ;)

Welcome Darrell.  There's a lot to explore here at Bettermost, and I hope to see your posts sprinkled all over!   ;D
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Hello everyone!
« Reply #146 on: April 16, 2006, 07:28:11 pm »
Yes - it truly shook me out of my complacency.  Because complacent I have been.  I've never known what it is to be stigmatized or persecuted - to have to hide the very essence of my being for fear of retribution of any kind, let alone violent.  I figured that being a woman was knowing enough.  But really I had no idea.  I'm thankful a thousand fold to this movie for showing me that.  It was the jump start I needed.  But more important, I'm thankful for the beauty it showed me.  That will live with me the rest of my days.
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Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #147 on: April 16, 2006, 11:06:20 pm »
Hey there Friends,
It's such fun to hear the stories behind the screen-names that I've been chatting with for so long.  I've been happily exploring the boards here for quite a while and I figure I really should introduce myself properly at this point.  I'm a refugee from imdb too.

My name's Amanda and I'm a 30 year old gay woman from Pennsylvania.  That's my pic in my avatar.  I saw the movie 5 times in the theater (which is an all time record for me in terms of theater views for a film) and way too many times on DVD.  I just love all the wonderful and intelligent conversations that have gone on around the movie.  I'm amazed that all the analysis actually makes the movie MORE touching and interesting to me... and it gets better with each viewing.  Seriously, this has never happened to me with a film before.  I like all these discussions because I'm an academic-type at heart.  I just finished my doctorate in art history last May and now I work in an art museum.  While I was a grad student I taught two film history/ film theory courses as a TA.  And, in all of those films I've had to teach (and many that I love) I've never been impacted by a film like I have by this one. 

I love the online friendships that have grown up around here.  What a wonderful, supportive place!  These boards really are addictive.  I recently moved to a new city and live alone with my adorable kitten.  I'm a bit of a loner... I guess I'd prefer something like "extremely independent".  I've been single for a while now, which I'm OK with, especially since I'm still adjusting to my new environment and new job.  I identify with a lot of the coming out issues in the film.  And, certain aspects of the relationship between Jack and Ennis remind me of my first and most significant girlfriend.  But, most of all I just enjoy the movie on its own terms.  I'm usually not much of a romantic and very rarely am interested in romances/ romantic movies, etc. but this one blew me away.

I say this all the time in various posts, but I'm so happy to be here!
cheers
Amanda
 :D
the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline southendmd

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #148 on: April 21, 2006, 06:27:55 pm »
Another belated introduction:

Hi all, I'm Paul, 42-year-old gay shrink from Boston, another IMDb refugee.

First of all, I want to thank Fran, Will and Ellemeno/Clarissa for their kind invitations and encouragement. This is a great and safe space, so refreshing.

I had never posted anything anywhere before IMDb: it started with my stumbling on to a CaseyCornelius thread. Such insight, and mutual respect. I was hooked, and became
addicted to the BBM ABCs as well.  I managed to print out my favorite Casey threads before the "War of the Trolls".

Since my first viewing on opening night in December at one of Boston's classic art houses, I, like many of you, felt there was something so different about this film. It's not just the grand themes of love and loss, longing and regret, redemption.  I particularly like the numerous ambiguities; nothing is spoon-fed. The film is like a Rorschach test, where we project our own thoughts, feelings, experiences, and expectations onto the story. And, like all great art, each new viewing brings something else.

It's great fun discussing our film with such intelligent, caring and witty BetterMost friends.

Cowboy hugs to all,
Paul

Offline EnnisLovesJack

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Re: Introduce Yourself
« Reply #149 on: April 22, 2006, 01:04:02 am »
Hi Everyone, I'm Clarissa.  I agree that Frappr would be a great idea.  But I can tell I shouldn't volunteer to organize it.  I could, however, find someone to organize it if no one reading this wants to.  Impish?  Lynne?  One of my fortes (I think) is finding the right person for the task, within a group.

I'm one of the refugees from IMDb.  I live in Seattle with husband and 3 year old daughter.  I am currently a fulltime mom, which has been my heart's desire for a long time.  i have a very blissful time in the smallest now, these days.  Not all the time, by any means.  But so many little joys with my girl, and the free, fairly unstressful time that I have.  In the past I have been an English and French teacher, a tobacco cessation counselor, and a birth doula.

I wish I was doing yoga, but I'm not.  I want to learn to play guitar just rudimentarily enough to accompany myself in the simplest manner while I sing (which I do a lot - sing), but I haven't been (guitar).  I want to take more photos of my daughter and other aspects of my life, but I don't.  That's kind of the negative part of me, not doing what my heart wants, sometimes.  And I'm not good with paper clutter.

I'm very people-oriented, and was somehow given moderator status of the Tremblay group here upon arrival (along with yaadpyar and vkm91941), a position I seem to fall into sometimes in groups - kind of the gatherer servant, or the "let's see what everyone needs and figure out how to get it for them - especially by delegating to others" servant.  I love having ideas for others to implement, LOL.

Just to finish up, I love BBM, of course.  I have seen it in the theater about 20 times, and got the DVD a little bit early and have watched some bits several times.  Not the ones you might think (I have watched those too), but rather the little campfire scenes up on the mountain and then later in their lives too.  One of my favorite moments is when they are working on the felled tree together, Ennis sawing and Jack axing.  (Although from experience I can say that it would be very jarring to be the sawer and have that sharp axe vibration come up through your arms.)  Working together like that on the same useful, important project looks so companionable and so what's the word, I don't know, but it's the thing I want with others, and why I'm here.




Hey 'meno. It's me, ELJ (Keren). I just read your post, and had to tell you it's a great one!  :) I really enjoyed what you wrote.

It really struck a chord with me. I saw so much of myself in there, from the not doing various things your heart wants, to the not being good with paper clutter (I often say my room has been declared a disaster area; it stresses me out and cramps the already small-ish room I live in. But I'm fairly sentimental and don't wanna let a lot of things go. Other things I just procrastinate on organizing, clearing out, or handling.). I have a ong list of things I wanna do in my life. It includes learn guitar, nd also lear accordion and trapeze and African dance and, yes, take come courses in photography, which is one of my only-partially-explored passions. I am the photographer in my family though. My mom often hands me a camera - or asks me to bring mine - and take candids at parties or dinners she throws. And I take lots and lots of rolls when I'm on vacation anywhere. Um, and oh, yeah, I studied French, 6 years in grades 7-12, and then got my bachelor's degree in it. English was my favorite subject in school. And I've taught Italian one-on-one. Oh, and I also love having ideas but imlementing them is not always my forte. I need to partner up with a person who can ut ideas into action and birth my inspiration into real world concrete existence.

And I too am EXTREMELY people-oriented. Relationships are the most satisfying, life/energy-giving and sustaing thing in my life. Among my friends, I'm the wide-eyed explorer, hungry for all kinds of adventures and new experiences. I'm not so much the moderator type, more of a rabble rouser. The rallier/rally-er (?), the one who hears about all sorts of awesome cultural and other fun events and tells my friends. Psych them up and rally folks for things they might not have even been aware were going on, and introduce them to new experiences. Sadly, though, I've had meager luck rounding up a posse, or even one committed bud, to join me for a local rodeo happening in my county this weekend. It just wouldn't be the same alone.

I think a big part of having several hearts desires one doesn't pursue or acto on is that there are so many things someone like me or you - or heck, most people with a pulse, I guess -  wants to pursue. So much to do, so much life to live, and SO LITTLE TIME!!!!  :-\  There just ain't never enough time, never enough, is there Jack? Dealing with finity has been a major existential struggle for me the last year, or so. A very dear friend of mine coined a phrase I now find myself using often: "sucks being finite." Well, it does. And I don't mean mortality, per se, though that sure figures in there. But mostly I mean that time is a limited and finite resource, much like money. And, the older we get, energy. (I wince at the sadness of these cold hard truths.) So many books so little time applies to much mor than books. It applies to everything!!!

But I send up a prayer of thanks for life, for being alive. For all the joy and fun and adventure I've had and will have. I'm 29 so I've still got a  lot of livin' to do. And I feel really blessed in my life in countless ways. Above all, I feel blessed in the relationships I have, good, close, caring friends, who form my second family. ANd my "first" family of course, so many loving relatives. One of my greatest gifts that I feel I've been given is the ability to form strong connections with other people, and this board/IMDB, pre-troll invasion/this movie/brokie community& culture (deep breath!)  has become part of that.

I love all you guys! Clarissa, keep up the good work and the good words, I've always enjoyed your posts.   ;)
Jack Nasty loves you!