Author Topic: <-- Introduce Yourself -->  (Read 433683 times)

Offline David

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #460 on: December 02, 2006, 11:07:15 pm »
Welcome Jerico!

    You are in good company.   We have all been there, done that.     There is a lot to see and read here at BetterMost.    Take your cowboy boots off and relax.   You wont find L.D.Newsome here and Joe Aguirre only peeks in from time to time to make sure none of the sheep are missing.

David

Offline Andrew

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #461 on: December 03, 2006, 12:22:11 am »
Jerico,
Every time I hear of another pair of men in a situation sort of like yours, I am amazed at just how common it is, among younger men as well as older.  And am amazed yet again at how true to life the film is, and at how rare that feeling of reality is in film.

Your story does make me curious about some things you don't go into - like whether your relationship is complicated by a current marriage on either side.  And how physical he has been willing to get.  A person can deny anything, but it makes a difference whether the thing between you has been made obvoous to you both and is only being kept from others, or whether he can deny both the physical and the emotional part of his attraction to you because certain things haven't been allowed to happen yet.  

It always seems as if the first crack in the self-image of a man who considers himself heterosexual comes when he has taken sexual action with a man and has to face the intensity of the feelings that released in him.  And of course it is much harder to deny those when it is a very good friend, than when it is a man whose name you don't know and who you never see again.

But to a person with a different makeup, it could happen first with this film (I can't say, a film like this one since there IS no other film like this one).  As it did with you.  Seeing yourself, with that horrible shock of recognition, up on the screen, forced to wonder if you would some day relive those exact moments, say those very words.

For reference, I'm a man who has had many years to get used to the idea that I love a man, have fulfilled myself to the utmost with my love for this man, would have led a narrow shadow life if I had never wrestled with myself.  And always been grateful that it was this particular individual I had the incredible good fortune to cross paths with, not one of the hundreds of others I would undoubtedly have felt physical attraction to.

But my first love was pretty miserable -- an infatuation with a man who was dropping hints that he was starting to realize he was gay, but who also gave no indication of having anything like the feeling I had for him, while I at the same time was in a violent battle - to the death! - with the idea that I could even be feeling love for another man. 

It was truly a death battle between us, but luckily it was the old self-image that died, not me.

Hope you hang around here and continue to fill us in on how it's going with you, Jerico.  You won't find a more sympathetic crowd anywhere, either for what you are going through or for what a great piece of film art Brokeback Mountain is.

Andrew
« Last Edit: December 03, 2006, 08:20:09 am by Andrew »

Offline CarlaMom2

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #462 on: December 03, 2006, 11:39:17 am »
I just found this site a few days ago.  I LOVE it.  I loved the movie and you all are special people!

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #463 on: December 03, 2006, 11:43:55 am »
Welcome, Carlamom2! Stay and talk awhile! You'll have a cup of coffee, won't you? Piece of cherry cake?
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Offline Sheriff Roland

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #464 on: December 03, 2006, 11:47:42 am »
I just found this site a few days ago.  I LOVE it.  I loved the movie and you all are special people!

Well let me be the first one ta welcome ya ta our little cyber-town

We're a rather friendly bunch an if ya got any questions about how ta get around, or where ya might find subjects of interest ta ya, feel free ta ask me or any of the moderators. Ya can find a moderator at the bottom a the home page in the "users online" sections; the mods are in red. Just click on a name there & scroll down ta send 'em a personal message. Chances are, within minutes, you'll get an answer.

In the mean time "You'll have a cup a coffee? Piece a cherry cake?"

Sheriff Roland

edit note: darn it, I never get ta be the first ta welcome folks - takin too long ta write these messages & correctin 'em
« Last Edit: December 03, 2006, 11:59:18 am by Sheriff Roland »
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Offline CarlaMom2

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #465 on: December 03, 2006, 12:10:08 pm »
I am a 31 yr old hetero female.  Mother of 2 beautiful children, wife, friend, sister, daughter, business owner, hairstylist ect....  I saw this movie last week finally(I had been waiting so long to have time to sit and watch it).  I was moved to tears.  I am in an interracial marriage.  I was able to relate to Ennis and Jack in my own way.  I will be forever touched by this story.  I am so happy I stumbled across this site.  Everyone feels the same way, in many ways.  I hope that makes some kind of sense.  I just registered today, but I have been reading your posts for the last few days.  Thanks for the welcome!

Offline David In Indy

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #466 on: December 03, 2006, 02:56:59 pm »
Welcome To BetterMost CarlaMom!!

We are really happy you decided to join our family. If you see a thread you are interested in, don't be shy - jump right in. Everyone is very nice around here and you will have many Bettermostian friends in no time. Bettermost is great because we all have been affected by Brokeback Mountain just like you have. Nobody will judge you here, and everyone understands. We are all in the same boat!  :D

If you have any questions, feel free to pm me. I will be more than happy to help.

By the way, my name is David and I live in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Again, welcome to BetterMost!
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Offline CarlaMom2

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #467 on: December 04, 2006, 09:16:43 am »
Nice to meet you all.  It's like a little family here.  Thanks everyone for making me feel a part of it.

mvansand76

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #468 on: December 04, 2006, 09:28:30 am »
Nice to meet you all.  It's like a little family here.  Thanks everyone for making me feel a part of it.

Welcome to Bettermost!!!, hope you find what you are looking for here, and it does feel like family here!  ;)

Offline jerico_red

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Re: <-- Introduce Yourself -->
« Reply #469 on: December 04, 2006, 11:13:24 pm »
Andrew,
It gives me some comfort knowing I'm not alone in this situation, and a bit disturbed too that we can still be caught in it despite how far we think our society has come.

It was both a relief and little uncomfortable watching the movie the first time. When it first came out and the hype started, I joined in with the rest of my friends in making fun of it and using the term "brokeback" as a derogative term. I'd never had the courage, despite my increasing curiousity, to watch the movie before it finally came on HBO last week. I made sure to tivo it and have watched it daily without fail.

The thing that got me was the parallels I drew from the movie that reflected my life. Many of the situations that Jack and Ennis found themselves in forced me to see myself there. I saw myself as Jack, outgoing and spry with a little less inhibition, and my... I don't even know what to call him, partner? as Ennis (I'll just refer to him as "My Ennis") who is more concerned with concealment and has a lot of emotional baggage.
We became friends through mutual friends and hung out with each other almost immediatley and frequently. Things culminated at a Halloween party where our passions finally exploded and took our friendship to another level. Had a physical confrontation early on about stupid stuff (but I think it was more deep-seated) that we both ended up in the hospital with stitches. We had somewhat of an intense reunion after he returned from living in Texas for a couple months. And I suggested making something a little more permanent, only to be rebuffed because of the kids. Seeing those things on screen happeneing to other guys made me squirm a little but still held my attention. Now I can honestly say that this is one of, if not my only, favorite movie. However I can't fathom admitting it to my circle of friends or family, not even to my Ennis who'll probably think I have an agenda for showing him the movie.

To answer your questions, no neither of us are married (he's divorced, I've never have) but he does have three children (range 7 to 15) that he adores to death. And we have gotten about as physical with each other as two people can. I'm afraid to say, and I know I'll be chastised for this, that we regularly engage in unsafe activities. This is something I'm even surprised at myself because I had never done without protection. But to me that says that we trust each other.

To clarify our status, we both consider ourselves bisexual. I have no other way to describe myself but as a commitment-phobe. I've had some lukewarm to semi-serious girlfriends in the past. Never anything that escalated to the point of discussing marriage. I think I'd always found a way to leave the relationship. And it's funny seeing myself typing that because even knowing that years ago in the middle of another relationship, I just went along with my gut instinct and would somehow mess up things up.
I had my first interaction with a man when I was 19. I'd always had a twinkle of attraction for guys before but never acted on it. And anything with other men never amounted to anything past the physical. I never established any kind of relationship, mostly because I was scared and didn't understand myself. Took a while to classify myself as bisexual... I'd always just said I was a sexual person, no prefix. That somehow was alright with me.
But now my Ennis came into my life... and for the first time in my life (I'm 32 now) I'm looking to the future, not scared of what will happen, but scared that it won't happen. It boggles my mind.

So getting back to the movie after my long-winded post, it really made me see that waiting for the opportunity to take the bull by the horns may never come... that it's now or never. But even then, it's still daunting.