Author Topic: single for life  (Read 16232 times)

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: single for life
« Reply #40 on: August 22, 2010, 06:44:58 pm »
I wonder if Jack appeared to you singletons and insisted on befriending you if you would tell him "why don't you leave me be"??


Well in my case, Bud, obviously yes I'd say something along those lines.

But, I'd be more than happy to rub Cassie's feet or slow dance with Lureen.  But, the more difficult question is about establishing a long term relationship.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I really like the idea of something like that.  But, I'm also self-aware enough to know that it would be a massive, massive adjustment to live with someone.  The old cliche about getting "set in one's ways" feels very, very real to me after years of doing things according to my own schedule, comfort level, etc.


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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: single for life
« Reply #41 on: August 22, 2010, 06:51:59 pm »
Worked for Ennis didn't?  Got all the perks without Jack being around most of the time?  ;)

Well, if I were Jack, I'd say, "you and Alma, that's a life." Can't you just hear him saying it! I'll have to think about the concept of being set in one's ways, Amanda. It's true that there's a lot of people in my life which leads to a lot of chaos. Still, when I feel like being alone, I go to a movie or take a hike in the mountains, or just go to my room and take a nap. And that seems to take care of my need to be alone. The Dalai Lama said, Spend a little time alone each day. It's good advice (and I tell my friends, your commuting time doesn't count!) There's also the benefit of feeling secure about your possessions. I'm forever dealing with my things being "borrowed" or mislaid. It's unnerving. Still, there is something in my DNA which causes me to seek out the warmth of others. I must have been a bunny in a previous life.
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: single for life
« Reply #42 on: August 22, 2010, 07:34:51 pm »
I wonder if Jack appeared to you singletons and insisted on befriending you if you would tell him "why don't you leave me be"??

Well, but there's a difference between "befriending" and "ranching up together." Isn't there?
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: single for life
« Reply #43 on: August 22, 2010, 07:55:37 pm »
Well, but there's a difference between "befriending" and "ranching up together." Isn't there?

No, not the way Jack defines it.
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: single for life
« Reply #44 on: August 22, 2010, 09:13:39 pm »
No, not the way Jack defines it.

Well, we're not Jack.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline louisev

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Re: single for life
« Reply #45 on: August 22, 2010, 09:23:07 pm »
Well in my case, Bud, obviously yes I'd say something along those lines.

But, I'd be more than happy to rub Cassie's feet or slow dance with Lureen.  But, the more difficult question is about establishing a long term relationship.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I really like the idea of something like that.  But, I'm also self-aware enough to know that it would be a massive, massive adjustment to live with someone.  The old cliche about getting "set in one's ways" feels very, very real to me after years of doing things according to my own schedule, comfort level, etc.




It IS a massive adjustment, and accommodation, and compromise, and to a great extent, your life is not your own any longer.  I was married long term (12 years) and have been single for for 20, and i would never, ever, EVER get married again.  To anybody.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline Ellemeno

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Re: single for life
« Reply #46 on: August 23, 2010, 03:15:23 am »
(OT - I've been reading about Olympia Dukakis recently, who played Mrs. Madrigal in TOTC.  She definitely does not fit in this thread - she and her actor husband Louis Zorich - Paul Reiser's dad on Mad About You - have been married for 48 years.)


Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: single for life
« Reply #47 on: August 23, 2010, 08:34:58 am »
(OT - I've been reading about Olympia Dukakis recently, who played Mrs. Madrigal in TOTC.  She definitely does not fit in this thread - she and her actor husband Louis Zorich - Paul Reiser's dad on Mad About You - have been married for 48 years.)

(Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were long-term, too.)
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: single for life
« Reply #48 on: August 23, 2010, 06:42:20 pm »
Well, if I were Jack, I'd say, "you and Alma, that's a life." Can't you just hear him saying it! I'll have to think about the concept of being set in one's ways, Amanda. It's true that there's a lot of people in my life which leads to a lot of chaos. Still, when I feel like being alone, I go to a movie or take a hike in the mountains, or just go to my room and take a nap. And that seems to take care of my need to be alone. The Dalai Lama said, Spend a little time alone each day. It's good advice (and I tell my friends, your commuting time doesn't count!) There's also the benefit of feeling secure about your possessions. I'm forever dealing with my things being "borrowed" or mislaid. It's unnerving. Still, there is something in my DNA which causes me to seek out the warmth of others. I must have been a bunny in a previous life.

The problem I found is that everyone's need for 'alone' time varies greatly.

I need a LOT of alone time.

When I was last engaged, my BF would be working on his car or watching TV and I'd retreat to the study to read and be alone.  Needless to say, he'd wander in to see what I was doing.  My last two BFs couldn't understand why I didn't want to sit with them and watch the game or listen to a band practice.

I was like Elaine in the Elaine and Puddy couple.  Him wanting her to watch him play softball, her finding it boring and bringing a book to read to pass the time.  Him getting upset because she wasn't paying attention to him playing.

If I was sleeping in on a Saturday, capable of sleeping blissfully till noon, most of my BFs would never let me, because they were early risers and were up at 8 AM and bored by 10 AM and would call and wake me up, wanting to know when they could come over.

 >:(

When home alone, relaxing in the bathtub, having changed my mind about doing something because I felt like staying home, my fiance would call to see why I had changed my mind and what was I now doing?  And if I was fed up and didn't want to answer the phone, he'd keep calling and calling and calling....

Nowadays, how much alone time do you really have when you get home from work?

At my last job, I'd get off anytime between 5:45 pm and 7:00 PM, then have to run errands, then get home and cook and/or work out, then when I settled down for 'Me time" invariably, a friend or my mother or my sister would call or e-mail.  Yes, I need to take time for them, but guess whose time it came out of?  That's right - my alone time.

Normally, if you work full-time and like to get in bed at a decent hour, you really only have 5 hours between 5 PM and 10 PM.  That's not a whole lot of time.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: single for life
« Reply #49 on: August 23, 2010, 06:52:45 pm »
The right man (or woman) for you, della, might be an older one, if you ever decided to give up singleness. My neighbor is married to an older man, and she says it works out perfectly because "you have your evenings free." She says it right in front of him, teehee!!
"chewing gum and duct tape"