Brokeback Slang, a.k.a. Much Ado About Brokeback

[Ellemeno]

I say, Old Chap, there's a bit of information I've been intending to impart.  Regretfully, it appears as though it shan't be til the autumn that I shall be able to join you for our next high-altitude rendez vous.

[Sheyne]

Hey, Ennis, are you familiar with a fellow by the name of Jack?

*Ennis's thoughts: Of course, wife dear. He took my virginity and we fell in love four years ago on Brokeback Mountain where I enjoyed several of the best months of my whole life. I haven't seen him since but I think about him often in the shower.* Maybe. Why?

[Sheyne]

I say, Old Chap, there's a bit of information I've been intending to impart.  Regretfully, it appears as though it shan't be til the autumn that I shall be able to join you for our next high-altitude rendez vous.

Old Chap... why can I imagine Ennis saying this with a plum in his mouth and a toffy aristocratic accent? 

[Ellemeno]

Good day, Monroe!  Is Alma here?

Yeah, she's in the condiments aisle.

Excellent, I'll proceed there straightaway.

[Sheyne]

Hey Mr Aguirre. I have dropped in to canvas any employment opportunities this summer.
I don't plan on hiring you.
There are no opportunities whatsoever? In particular, on Brokeback Mountain?
I don't plan on hiring you, as you demonstrated yourself to be a practicing homosexual.

*pause*

I don't suppose Ennis del Mar has come canvassing similar opportunities?
I have choked on this revulsion for a full year and now I have to express my disgust at the way you two former employees chose to use the time given to you while herding sheep last year.  You weren't being paid to make love to each other while the dogs sat by the flock of sheep you were paid to guard. Now take your leave or I shall throw a little tanty.

[serious crayons]

These are SO funny. I would copy my favorite lines, but there are just too many.


Jack Twist?! Jack Unseemly!! Sir, I charge that your various wilderness excursions, ostensibly made with the intention of procuring freshwater commestibles, were in fact undertaken for another purpose altogether!

Alma, you are woefully uninformed on this subject!

[Sheyne]

LOL!!! I'm laughing out loud here, which has incurred the wrath of the sleeping folk upstairs..

That was fantastic, latjoreme... 

You ain't a lawyer by any chance, are ya?

[Becky]

Ohh I have one! I am extra good at being Stephen Fry-like!

Even if I required to understand this certain situation, I don’t believe I could get a expression in the midst of Lashawn sufficient enough to question. That particular female converses a sapphire strip.

  I love this thread! Keep on with the Stephen Fry-ness!

[Sheyne]

This is the last one for me... I'm going to bed...  *yawns*


Daddy, please rub some manly salt into the wounds of Mother's new, wimpy, effeminate shop-owning, electric-knife-toting husband, by regaling this small gathering with the overt masculinity of your rodeo pursuits.

[serious crayons]

You ain't a lawyer by any chance, are ya?

Nope, a writer. And back atcha! I've loved your posts.

To me, this thread sounds like "If Brokeback had been written by Jane Austen ..."

Please dispatch a missive apprising me as to your availability on the aforementioned date.

You may place a wager on it.