...what scares me in a way is that I am a straight guy with a wife! Why do I understand this scene so well? It's almost as if I can identify with it somehow. And that is very scary to me.
I wanna respond to a question that texman asks and also to his post in general, then say a bit about where I am.
Texman, I think it's great that you, a non-gay guy with a wife, can relate to the movie and to a scene that is very intense. Why do you understand it so well? For one thing, Ennis and Jack are men. You may be connecting with one or both of the men on an emotional level or maybe the scene is similar to something that happened to you in real life. You understand them because you are the same gender they are, you see? You don't have to be gay or bi-sexual to do that. And then there the "universal" connection to human love that most people can understand and feel too. You don't have to be in a same sex relationship to understand that either.
Where am I now? I have watched the movie on DVD 4 times and seen it in the theater once. Every time I watch it, the same parts that broke me up the first time do again; not to the depth and intensity of the first time, but I am still very moved, to tears. The most intense part is when Ennis visits Jack's parents and find the two shirts. I understand the movie better now. I read the story then gave the book to a close friend of mine, so I have another book on the way, and I do want to read it again since I've read it twice and still think about the story almost more than the movie. Brokeback Mountain has had a huge impact on my life. I have made positive changes already and am better off for them. It has been the starting point for other, more important and difficult changes that I am making, long range changes, so I am thankful it's had such a strong impact for good.
I have a new appreciation for country and western music even and have bought a few CDs, like the soundtrack, of course, but also some by Teddy Thompson, Mark Weigle and Steve Earle. I should say too, that the movie's positive effect on me has a lot to do with finally seeing a serious movie about men in love. It's almost like some "odd form of acceptance" by the mainstream, well, not all, but some of the mainstream. That feels very good, very healthy!
I still think of both Jack and Ennis from time to time and when I hear the soundtrack, whether on my PC or on BBM Radio, a sweet sadness, a haunting joy mixed with grief rise in me. I'm a real movie lover and place Brokeback Mountain up high with favorites like Gandhi, Contact, A Thin Red Line, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and Out of Africa which, by the way, is similar to Brokeback in it's tale of adventure and loss love. I continue to come here out of a need to talk about the movie, the men, their issues and my feelings. I saw the movie for the first time in early March and must admit, no movie has ever had so much influence on me. I've never watched a movie 5 times and I imagine I will watch it again, so predict that it will most likely "hold the record" for movies I've watched most frequently.
Happy Spring to you all,
Rayn
