oh DEL
I wish I had more to offer
{{{{Del}}}}}
I hope you know you are very much in my thoughts....You are doing a great job. I know you are doing your level best and you deserve to have that acknowledged. I am so proud of you for your strength but I know sometimes you get tired of carrying the load for everyone.
Thanks babe. You do help a lot. Actually it's really nice when I have bad days to simply know that you guys are here.
I'm being patient. I've written off my sister as being much help at anything. It's worthless making plans with her, because she'll agree, and then pretty much do whatever she wants anyway (to make sure my mother had someone visit her at least 6 days a week, along with nurses and rehab guy, my sister and I alternated days, that way our mother was covered...well
I made plans that we were to alternate days. I think my sister kept that up for about a week. Now she pretty much shows up whenever it's convenient for her
)
My mother - as in the example tonight - needs something the next day, my sister is supposed to come over tomorrow morning...but I can't reach her so she can bring this item because she doesn't have vm. I left a nasty message on her work vm
Other times, my mother needs her to bring something, so I call her or e-mail her at work with a list. I say, "write this down" or "print this out".
Does she?
No.
I arrive at the house, fully expecting X to be there just to be told by my mother that when asked, my sister replied, "Oh, I forgot."
My mother's lawn needs watering. It took my sister three weeks of reminding before she finally bought a waterhose for my mother. I had given up on her and had bought my own, then had to go get a refund.
She's power of attorney, executor of the estate and has done nothing to find hospice care for my mother. I'm doing all the research into that.
My mother I forgive a lot more despite the hurtful things she says. She's sick and so is self-absorbed, she wants what she wants and nothing is ever good enough. Trouble is, I grew up with the idea of not being good enough, being called stupid, and have spent my entire life proving to myself and the world at large that I'm not stupid and can be good enough so her attitude does not give me warm fuzzies.
So, life is not very pleasant right now, but at least my friends online and real (for the most part anyway) have all stepped in to offer to help out or cheer me up.
And that does mean a lot.
