Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

Some of the pop artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.

They include:

Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .

Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.


The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon---
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye ---
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade of Hair.

Leo Sayer ---
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations ---
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba---
Denture Queen.

T ony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
 
Leslie Gore---

It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.


And Last but NOT least

Willie Nelson ---

On the Commode Again

 
 
 

 

 

[Kerry]

Some of the pop artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.

 

[Katie77]

THE ITALIAN ELBOW

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her
grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

'You comma to de front door of the apartamenta.  I am
inna apartamenta 301.  There issa bigga panel at the
front door.  With you elbow, pusha button 301.   I will
buzza you in.  Come inside, the elevator is on the
right.  Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.  When you
get out, I'mma on the left.  With you elbow, hit my
doorbell.'

'Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting
all these buttons with my elbow?

'What . . .You coming empty handed?'

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.......

"No woman will ever be truly satisfied, because no man will ever have a
chocolate penis,that ejaculates money

[Katie77]

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the ey es and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy. . You explain the kids.'