Expressions You Hate!

[delalluvia]

Recent greetings that I have heard that just stop me dead in my tracks because I have no idea how to respond:

You get a call from someone or you call someone and the first words out of their mouths are:

"Hey, whadda ya know?"

Dead stop.  Train of thought instantly derails, conversation ball rolls under the couch.  Is he asking me a question?  Is he thinking out loud?  What do I know?  I know lots of things... how, what?  WTF do I say to something like that?

Similar to this is

"Hey what have you been up to?"

And they're not really asking. This isn't an opening conversation gambit, it's just something said as a greeting.  What have I been up to?  Slam on the conversation brakes.  Screeeeeeeeeeeeech.  I've been up to a lot and nothing at all, WTF do I say to something like that? 

Usually I respond "Nothing" which is really lame and again, the conversation dies to an uncomfortable pause.

[Kerry]

Recent greetings that I have heard that just stop me dead in my tracks because I have no idea how to respond:

You get a call from someone or you call someone and the first words out of their mouths are:

"Hey, whadda ya know?"

Dead stop.  Train of thought instantly derails, conversation ball rolls under the couch.  Is he asking me a question?  Is he thinking out loud?  What do I know?  I know lots of things... how, what?  WTF do I say to something like that?

Similar to this is

"Hey what have you been up to?"

And they're not really asking. This isn't an opening conversation gambit, it's just something said as a greeting.  What have I been up to?  Slam on the conversation brakes.  Screeeeeeeeeeeeech.  I've been up to a lot and nothing at all, WTF do I say to something like that? 

Usually I respond "Nothing" which is really lame and again, the conversation dies to an uncomfortable pause.

I would accept both such greetings as rhetorical salutations, similar to "Hello, how are you?" As such, IMHO, a simple "Hello" or "Hi there" would suffice, by way of response. This is open to interpretation, of course, and one can choose to be more literal in one's response, should one choose to do so, with something like "Hi. Not a lot! You?"

When someone greets me with "Hello, how are you?" my standard response is "Fine thank you. How are you?" or simply "Fine thanks. You?" Even though I'm aware the initial greeting was rhetorical, I still respond as I do, as a matter of courtesy. 

I've never seen someone struck speechless when asked "How are you?" when greeted such, but I have seen such a greeting open a real Pandora's box, whereby the greetee takes the greeting literally and proceeds to rattle off, ad nauseam, a lengthy diatribe of health problems. 

I guess there are no fixed rules. I have a dear old friend who always greets me with, "Hi Kerry! What are you doing?" whenever he phones. It's his cute way of saying "Hello!" Because we've been friends for over 30 years, I always respond literally with "Washing up" or "Making the bed" or whatever it was I was doing when the phone rang. We laugh and get on with our conversation. I've recently taken to greeting him in the same way, when I phone him, with "What are you doing, George?" 

[injest]

I would accept both such greetings as rhetorical salutations, similar to "Hello, how are you?" As such, IMHO, a simple "Hello" or "Hi there" would suffice, by way of response. This is open to interpretation, of course, and one can choose to be more literal in one's response, should one choose to do so, with something like "Hi. Not a lot! You?"

When someone greets me with "Hello, how are you?" my standard response is "Fine thank you. How are you?" or simply "Fine thanks. You?" Even though I'm aware the initial greeting was rhetorical, I still respond as I do, as a matter of courtesy. 

I've never seen someone struck speechless when asked "How are you?" when greeted such, but I have seen such a greeting open a real Pandora's box, whereby the greetee takes the greeting literally and proceeds to rattle off, ad nauseam, a lengthy diatribe of health problems. 

I guess there are no fixed rules. I have a dear old friend who always greets me with, "Hi Kerry! What are you doing?" whenever he phones. It's his cute way of saying "Hello!" Because we've been friends for over 30 years, I always respond literally with "Washing up" or "Making the bed" or whatever it was I was doing when the phone rang. We laugh and get on with our conversation. I've recently taken to greeting him in the same way, when I phone him, with "What are you doing, George?" 

I actually LIKE when someone asks that question....because it gives you an opening to get off the phone if you need to. I will answer my mother for example every time she calls because she has chronic health problems...so when she asks 'what are you doing?' I can answer her honestly, I am watching TV (and she knows I can talk) OR I can say something like "I am just walking out the door to give a lesson" (and she knows I CAN"T talk and I will call her back)

[Kerry]

I actually LIKE when someone asks that question....because it gives you an opening to get off the phone if you need to. I will answer my mother for example every time she calls because she has chronic health problems...so when she asks 'what are you doing?' I can answer her honestly, I am watching TV (and she knows I can talk) OR I can say something like "I am just walking out the door to give a lesson" (and she knows I CAN"T talk and I will call her back)

That reminds me, I often respond "Talking to you" when George asks "What are you doing?" 

Here in Oz, it's what we call "Stating the bleeding obvious."     

[delalluvia]

That reminds me, I often respond "Talking to you" when George asks "What are you doing?" 

Here in Oz, it's what we call "Stating the bleeding obvious."     

I do that a lot when I get calls at work, but I say it with sarcasm.  People know they're not calling me at home.  They know it's the middle of the workday and they start of the call with

Hey, what are you doing?

I reply, Working 

I guess I get stumped with those earlier examples of greetings because anything I say would be a non-sequitur.

Them:  Hey, whaddaya know?
Me:  I"m fine thanks, and you?

Them:  Hey, what have you been up to?
Me:  I'm good thanks, and you?

It's like we're not even in the same conversation and I'm completely ignoring what they say and instead going with what they - probably - mean.

[Marge_Innavera]

My two "others":

1)  "anymore" for "nowadays"

2)  cutesy-poo euphemisms like "dayum" instead of "damn."  Either say it or don't.

[Marge_Innavera]

MarieZ, word (sorry Lynne, heehee) on think outside the box.  I'm looking for a job right now, and run into these stupid job description cliches all the time! 

Oh, that too -- job descriiption cliches!

how about "driven" as a euphemism for "we want somebody who's going to work himself half to death and have no life outside of the workplace"?   

[jstephens9]

"young uns" ........ I still hate that word or phrase or whatever it is. I remember people saying things like "The young uns can sit over there."

[serious crayons]

Oh, that too -- job descriiption cliches!

how about "driven" as a euphemism for "we want somebody who's going to work himself half to death and have no life outside of the workplace"?   

Or "empower," as in, "We're going to empower you to [take on extra tasks]" as a euphemism for "We're going to cut positions and add to the workload of you remaining employees without increasing your pay."


In reading the list above, I realize I say several of them! For example, I often say, 'I personally,' as a sort of shorthand for IMHO. As in, "You may think such and such thing, but I personally do not believe it." Hope everyone hasn't been secretly seething about it! 

"young uns" ........ I still hate that word or phrase or whatever it is. I remember people saying things like "The young uns can sit over there."

I hate that, too, especially when applied to adults who are younger than the speaker.

[delalluvia]

2)  cutesy-poo euphemisms like "dayum" instead of "damn."  Either say it or don't.

You know, I never thought this was a 'cute' way of saying it.  Maybe it's because I'm from the southern states?  I always thought this was someone saying "damn" or "shit" with a southern accent emphasis

"Dayum"

or

"sheeit"

They are saying it.  It's just with an emphatic accent.

I think what falls under your definition of cutesy are words like "beeoytch" for "bitch".  But again, I don't think it's so much cutesy as a form for "polite" conversation.