The "ABCs of BBM": Round 965! (Rules in first post)

[southendmd]

Whilst comparing one's spouse's upper mammaries to gelatin, it is considered proper to flip one's spouse over to a prone position in order to better simulate fornication with one's cowboy liaisonnaire.  Said spouse then may well utter one's name, not necessarily in delight.

[memento]

On occasion, it may be necessary to drop a hint about one's lack of opportunites as a sinner.

[Toast]

It's in bad form to stay on your horse while informing an unmounted cowboy of important news.

• A cowboy never talks down to anyone. If one man dismounts, the other does too.  Cowboy Etiquette

[Meryl]

If you are a cowboy about to attempt to demonstrate the act of bull-riding by simulating the behavior of certain simian denizens of the jungle, it is best first to

1) ascertain whether the alcoholic beverage you are presently consuming allows you to maintain sufficient equilibrium for the operation, and

2) briefly peruse the immediate area to pinpoint the location of any oversized obstacles, e.g. stacked camping gear, that might impede the progress of same.

[memento]

When trying to make an impression on someone you picked up by the side of the road, make sure not to look him in the face, your knees are close to his but not touching, and you are not wearing leatherlike clothing but the real thing.

[Toast]

Ennis wore his hat while eating a light meal at the bus station.



Some standard, base-line points of etiquette:

• Any time you enter a building, the hat should come off. 
  
• If it is an informal occasion you may put it back on but for a formal occasion it should stay off.
  
• When sitting down at a table for a meal, the hat should come off unless there is nowhere to safely lay the hat.
  
• When sitting down at a counter for a meal, the hat can stay on.
  
• Out on the range however, keep your hat on while you eat. If you take your hat off, another wrangler might step on it or spill food into the rim.
  

Hat Guide

[Fran]

When a situation arises where one is forced to deal with an unpleasantry on the order of, say, 42 noisome, zapped-by-lightning sheep, a quart of whiskey, preferably on shares, is the only way to cope.

def. = foul-smelling

[Meryl]

When it comes to vying for employment, the successful cowboy would be wise to avoid ostentatiousness in all things.  Often, success is achieved in direct proportion to the decrepitude and dustiness of one's chosen vehicle.

[southendmd]

When greeting a cowboy friend after an extended absence, it is considered proper to refer to said cowboy as the offspring of a dog of the female persuasion prior to knocking his hat off and slamming him into the nearest wall for purposes of face-sucking.  Etiquette requires that said cowboy reciprocate the same wall-slamming-face-sucking procedure.

[memento]

If you are the wife of a cowboy and also a college graduate, it is required that you speak using double and triple negatives. If you are the lover of a cowboy, it is required that you don't speak at all.