took my mother to the doctor today.
45 minute drive.
"You drive too fast"
"You drive too slow"
"You drive too close to the center line"
"You don't watch the road, do you?"
"You never look ahead"
"You change lanes too much"
"You need to change lanes...don't you see those trucks in front of you?"
"You drive like you're drunk"
"I am surprised you don't get tickets"
I bought a Coke...drank what I wanted...."You WASTED that Coke, knucklehead!"
I found a drivers license on the ground yesterday...meant to drop it in a mailbox when I saw one...she spotted it. Snatched it up."WHO is THIS!!"
(ya got me mom...I am having an affair with a teenage AfricanAmerican boy...
)
"I found it on the ground"
"Well, you should have left it on the ground! if the cops stop you they will think you stole it!"
I didn't say a word, snatched it out of her hand, rolled down the window and flung it out.
BAD Jess...
OY!!!
I need a drink....