*Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
*Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up
my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I
Had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe.
For now...
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