Author Topic: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence  (Read 46946 times)

mvansand76

  • Guest
Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« on: March 25, 2008, 04:27:14 pm »
You don't have to explain your choice, but you can if you want to.

Offline Brown Eyes

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,375
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2008, 04:49:34 pm »
Heya Mel,

I voted for "I am disappointed in Jake and I feel that he should have said or written something about Heath's passing"... although I'd like to clarify that I'm not necessarily disappointed.  I'm more perplexed.  Sometimes I feel frustrated in this state of "not knowing."  But, I'm not disappointed in Jake really.  And, in the places where I've discussed this issue in JJJ and HHH and elsewhere, I don't want it to seem that I'm being negative about Jake or even really criticizing him.  I still think he's fantastic and an important part of Brokie-hood, etc.  But, the rest of the statement that I voted for here holds true for me.  I do think he should write or say something about Heath.  But, if he doesn't, I'm sure I'll be able to move on (and continue to like Jake as an actor/ personality, etc.).  Having a statement from Jake would help me tremendously in terms of coming to a sense of closure about the tragedy with Heath.  But, if we never get a statement from him, again, I'm sure I'll come to terms with that (without lingering "disappointment" directed towards Jake).  I think the frustration I feel about this from time to time is a passing thing.





the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2008, 05:12:16 pm »
I posted elsewhere my opinion that the erupting controversy and lashback about Jake in our fandom is unjustified and unfair to Jake.  The main reason I feel this way is because I have been through the death of close family members and many friends, and have never issued any kind of condolence or statement about them, because I felt it was private and chose to keep those feelings to myself.  I also do not attend funerals, and did not attend my father's or my sister's funeral.  I suffered a lot of disrespect from people within my family for my choice, and yet I know that it did not reflect my personal feelings, which I chose to keep private.

I find it perfectly understandable that Jake, or anyone, chooses to keep such a deeply private expression to himself.  He owes no one any explanation for it, any more than I owed anyone an explanation as to why I chose to mourn in private, and we should not take it out on him.
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline nova20194

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 278
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2008, 07:00:27 pm »

I guess my statement would be a combination of the choices, more like......."I really don't feel that he owes us anything, BUT I am disappointed in Jake and I feel that he should have said or written something about Heath's passing".


Offline j.U.d.E.

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,747
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2008, 08:02:36 pm »
I hesitated between:

'I really don't feel that he owes us anything and I understand why he hasn't said or written anything about Heath's passing'

and

'I think it's weird that he hasn't said or written anything about Heath's passing, but I understand that he doesn't owe us anything'

[I chose the first one]

I am not disappointed. I think it's a little weird though. It might make him feel better too maybe. But that's probably just my thinking.

He doesn't owe us anything. I just hope he knows how to deal with his grief and that he can find closure somehow, some day.

j. U. d. E.

MLK - - - - - - - - - - - - HAL - - - - - - - - - - - - BHO
*15 jan 1929 - †04 apr 1968 | *04 apr 1979 - † 22 jan 2008 | *04 aug 1961 -

Offline forsythia12

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 471
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2008, 08:08:21 pm »
well, i don't know how i feel.  kinda wishy washy i guess.  i am a little disappointed, but i don't necessarily agree that he doesn't owe us anything.  we are his fan base, and being famous usually means doing things to merely please their fans.  think about all the things fandom requires that i'm sure not every actor is paticularly keen on doing, but still do.  i just dont' think it would've been that difficult to release something....anything.  but i love jake, and i don't think about it much, and i have no disrespect for his grieving.  he can do what he wants, and he won't lose me as a fan, but i think i think a lot of people, including myself, desire to know what he's thinking and feeling on the matter.  so, sometimes i feel disappointed, but he's his own, and he can do as he sees fit.  it's none of my business, but yes, i'd prefer to know what he would say.
i mean he's got to know that people are wondering, and almost every famous person has had do a thing or two to appease fans.  

Offline nova20194

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 278
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2008, 08:45:14 pm »
.......I have been through the death of close family members and many friends, and have never issued any kind of condolence or statement about them, because I felt it was private and chose to keep those feelings to myself.  I also do not attend funerals, and did not attend my father's or my sister's funeral.  I suffered a lot of disrespect from people within my family for my choice, and yet I know that it did not reflect my personal feelings, which I chose to keep private.

My father passed away less than 24 hours before Heath.  I was deeply saddened by both events.  Because he was my father, I needed to spend most of the next week dealing with all of the events associated with his passing.  This included taking my mother to see him at the nursing home after he passed away, going to the funeral home the next day with my mother and my siblings to make final decisions, as well as attending his funeral and accepting condolences from family and friends.  I have very little experience with death or funerals, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  We received comments, visits, cards, condolences, tears, smiles, and hugs from family members, old friends, new friends, and strangers as well.  With so much love and concern pouring forth from so many different directions, I can't believe that keeping totally private is appropriate.  No one was obliged to pay their respects to my father, they just did because it was the right thing to do.





Offline forsythia12

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 471
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2008, 08:48:13 pm »
My father passed away less than 24 hours before Heath.  I was deeply saddened by both events.  Because he was my father, I needed to spend most of the next week dealing with all of the events associated with his passing.  This included taking my mother to see him at the nursing home after he passed away, going to the funeral home the next day with my mother and my siblings to make final decisions, as well as attending his funeral and accepting condolences from family and friends.  I have very little experience with death or funerals, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  We received comments, visits, cards, condolences, tears, smiles, and hugs from family members, old friends, new friends, and strangers as well.  With so much love and concern pouring forth from so many different directions, I can't believe that keeping totally private is appropriate.  No one was obliged to pay their respects to my father, they just did because it was the right thing to do.






i'm very sorry for your loss.  i send my condolences as well.
i also agree with you.

Offline Brown Eyes

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,375
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2008, 09:00:51 pm »
It's so interesting to see the intensely personal perspectives we're all probably bringing to this question.  I think each of our reactions to this particular situation with Jake just has so much to do with all of our own feelings about grief and loss (and also our own personal ideas about how best to respond to grief and loss - both in terms of personal reaction and public etiquette). 

This is really such an incredibly intense thing to be going through and working through as a community.
 :'(


the world was asleep to our latent fuss - bowie

Offline nova20194

  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 278
Re: Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2008, 09:04:12 pm »

Thanks, Forsythia, for your condolences and support.