I agree with this assessment of "asshole." But I disagree about "prick" or "dick." As a matter of fact, "prick" was the more polite term used back when "dick" was considered too rude. Either way, these words have the same effect on men that the "c-word" or the "t-word" have on women in terms of the dehumanizing bodily reduction. And I'll tell you that personally, I like penises very much...starting with my own. So I still cringe when I hear those words, and being called such really pushes my buttons...unless--as has been pointed out--the speaker is using them in jest.
I should also point out that while the "c-word," the "t-word," the "p-word" and "dick" are not allowed on network TV, "prick" is.
I don't think "dick" or "prick" are the equivalent of the c-word. Who in the real world have you ever heard refer to it as the "d-word"? That word is tossed around casually by men and women, boys and girls, sometimes attached to "head." Whereas "cunt" is pulled out by only the rudest people in only the most extreme situations.
No, the equivalent of "dick" is "pussy," which is used pretty casually. Though neither, interestingly, is often applied to a woman. Nor is "asshole," for that matter.
Let me offer another angle. Calling a man a "bitch" is emasculating, but not because it reduces a man to the level of a woman, but rather his masculinity is so damaged that he "becomes" a woman.
I'm not thrilled with "bitch" in any context, though I find it the most offensive when it's a man speaking of a woman. Hence, I am at least somewhat offended by about 75 percent of rap songs. (Well, 75 percent of the ones I've heard, which is a small fraction of all rap but seems to be about representative -- one night when my son was playing his iTunes in the car on the aux plug, I asked him to find a song that didn't have the word "bitch" in it, and he had trouble doing so.)
According to the website Rap Genius, which records and explains rap lyrics, there are 8,222 rap songs with the word "bitch" in them, including over 100 with the word right in the title. Titles -- and these include songs by the biggest names in rap -- include "Shut Up Bitch Swallow," "Bitches Ain't Shit," "Fuck My Bitch," "Bitch Suck Dick," "Bitches on My Dick," "Break that Bitch," and "Violate that Bitch." Also, "Sophisticated Bitch" and "Bitches in Paris" and "Please Respect the Bitch" (good start, yo). And the romantic ballad "I Love My Bitch."
Of course, "bitch" is better than "ho."
Bitch-related rap anecdote: A rumor went around for a couple of days recently that Jay-Z had publicly sworn off using the word "bitch" since his daughter was born. It turned out to be fake, which Jay-Z casually confirmed when asked about it on TV. Nope, he had no plans to change his use of an offensive slur. However, a month or two earlier, a feud cropped up between Jay-Z and Lil Wayne, partly based on Lil Wayne recording a song in which the phrase "your bitch" implicitly referred to Beyonce. In Jay-Z's mind, apparently, it's fine to use "bitch" with abandon when applied to women in general, but it's a huge insult when applied to one's wife.
The problem is that if I find "bitch" offensive when used in these contexts, I'm now reluctant for political reasons to use it in its traditional way: to describe a woman who's mean or unpleasant. As in, "My boss is such a bitch" or "You're acting like a bitch." If "bitch" is to be used as a synonym for "woman," those phrases are redundant and obvious. And if I don't want Jay-Z to use the word, I shouldn't add to the world's supply. So now what? "My boss is such an asshole," I guess, though to me that still sounds funny when used to describe a woman.
I used to think reclaiming slurs was a reasonable idea, but I've come to find the process so fraught with pitfalls that maybe it's better to just not do it.
Let me offer another angle. Calling a man a "bitch" is emasculating, but not because it reduces a man to the level of a woman, but rather his masculinity is so damaged that he "becomes" a woman.
And I'm assuming this arose from prison terminology.
But now, I think, "bitch" has a more generic, non-gendered meaning when applied to men. It's more like "asshole." If you want to insult a man by calling him something feminine, you would use "pussy."
The opposite insult would be calling a woman "butch," "bull-dyke," or saying "she's got a dick." Those insults are intended to strip away her femininity, therefore she "becomes" a man. Its about gender reversal.
I don't think these are quite equivalent. "Butch" and "bull-dyke," because of their sexual-orientation connotations, mean something a little different, and I would assume their meaning changes depending on whether the person is gay or straight. As for "she's got a dick," yes it's an insult, but I think of it as an insult often applied to women not because they're acting "masculine" per se, but because they're behaving in a way that's presumably only acceptable for men. For example, women who are seen as being "inappropriately" competitive or aggressive in business.
It's interesting that our insults are so gender-specific.
