Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Those were great pettifogger!


Loved that last one of your Kerry!

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      A blonde and lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, very tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over toward the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists (as lawyers are wont to do) and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00 and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to the torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

        The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

        The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

        "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

        She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and Library of Congress, still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, all to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

        The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

        The lawyer, more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

        Without a word, the blonde reaches in her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

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[Kerry]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

1.   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

2.    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

3.    Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 

4.    Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 

5.    The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 

6.    If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. 

7.    The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first. 

8.    The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 

9.    A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.   

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Excellent Kerry