Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

WARNING: A friend emailed this joke to me today and I have reproduced it here verbatim. As it relates to, and makes light of, a certain contentious, topical issue, some people may find it offensive and it might be prudent for such people not to progress beyond this point. I agonised about whether or not to post it and finally decided to do so, primarily because it does not vilify anyone, and also because it highlights, with humour, the futility of the entire situation. If you are very strongly opposed to the reproduction of this joke here, please PM me and I will delete it immediately. Here's the joke:

Two radical Arab terrorists boarded a flight out of London.

One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.
 
Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you."

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one too."

Again, the Marine went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, "Why does it have to be this way?"

"How long must this go on?
 
This fighting between our nations?

This hatred?

This animosity?  

This spitting in shoes?
 
This pissing in cokes?"

THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.

[Mandy21]

I think it's a good joke, Kerry, and also that "futility" is a good choice of words to describe the ongoing situation.

[Kerry]

I think it's a good joke, Kerry, and also that "futility" is a good choice of words to describe the ongoing situation.

I'm reminded of the lyrics to the Chaplin song, "Smile" . . . .

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by if you -
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile - What's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu-rLA4POkI[/youtube]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.   Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

[Katie77]

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

[Katie77]

 
  Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their
  soon-to-be new store..
 
  As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
 
  One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to
  walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
 
  No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious
  senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked,
  "What are you sellin' here?"
 
  One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."
 
  Without skipping a beat, the old timer said,"Must be doing well ...
  only two left."
 
 
  Seniors -- don't mess with them!

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Flash Mob at Sydney's Bondi Beach . . . . with a twist!      

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao4DkbGbxl0[/youtube]

[Katie77]

Cool vid Kerry....easy to dance along with that music