Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

  I learned at school that the bees swallow the nectar and bring it up again and swallow and bring it up again and ....and so on, until they reach the bee´s home (sorry, too lazy to look up the word), --- but, honestly, I don´t know which explanation I like less... 

I'm with you, Dagi. It doesn't really bear thinking about where our food comes from. It would have been a very brave human, for example, who was the first person to put an oyster in his/her mouth! And I won't even mention eggs, that drop out of a chicken's bottom. I wonder what the first human who ate an egg was thinking! S/he must have been very  hungry!      

I personally enjoy eating honey and eggs (not together!) but I'm not so keen on oysters.      

[Kerry]

Here's a quote from my desk calendar today:

"Humour is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations.
There is more logic in humour than in anything else. Because, you see, humour is truth."
- Victor Borge

[Shasta542]

LIVING WILL

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."




She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.


She's such a B**** !!

[Dagi]

  I won't show this joke to my husband, he'd be a bitch, too!

[Dagi]

I'm with you, Dagi. It doesn't really bear thinking about where our food comes from. It would have been a very brave human, for example, who was the first person to put an oyster in his/her mouth! And I won't even mention eggs, that drop out of a chicken's bottom. I wonder what the first human who ate an egg was thinking! S/he must have been very  hungry!      

I personally enjoy eating honey and eggs (not together!) but I'm not so keen on oysters.      

And imagine, we drink what comes out of a cow's breast and is meant for calves, not to mention we eat eggs that are forced out of a fish's belly (not me! I hate it!) 

[Kerry]

LIVING WILL

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a B**** !!

       

[TXdoug]

ALL of YOU are AWESOME !!!

Each post is WONDERFUL and usually HILARIOUS !!!!

Thanks Kerry for creating the Komedy Klub !!!!

I have your Webshots page as one of my Favorites so I can access it quickly and often !!!!!

[Kerry]

ALL of YOU are AWESOME !!!

Each post is WONDERFUL and usually HILARIOUS !!!!

Thanks Kerry for creating the Komedy Klub !!!!

I have your Webshots page as one of my Favorites so I can access it quickly and often !!!!!

I hope to photograph some more paintings this weekend and upload them to Webshots. I also hope to draw a couple of cartoons and upload them too. I saw something on television last night about Log Cabin Republicans (I think that's what they were called - gay Republicans  ), which has given me a couple of ideas for cartoons!     

Good to hear from you, Doug!

As we say in Oz, "Avagoodweegendmoit"! (say it out loud with an Aussie accent and you'll hear the meaning) 

[Shasta542]

When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder

[Kerry]