Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her. When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, then she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said..... (you're going to love this!), "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

[dot-matrix]

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You enjoy life, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then you finish off as an orgasm!

The End

[Kerry]

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You enjoy life, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then you finish off as an orgasm!

The End

Gasp! I fear this might be my REAL-LIFE experience, Dottie. It's called Peter Pan Syndrome and it's a genuine, bona fide, psychiatric condition!!!                    

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

[Katie77]

Anger Management                               
 
Husband:  "When I get mad at you, you never fight back.  How do you control your anger?"

 
Wife: "I clean the toilet .."

 
Husband: "How does that help?"


Wife: "I use your toothbrush."