Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong's have a new baby.   The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
 
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents.  'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,  'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?
 
     

Sum Ting Wong






!

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Zander]

Signs of the times

In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
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On a Septic Tank Lorry:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On a Plumber's Van:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
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On another Plumber's Van:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'
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On a Church's Notice board:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
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At a  Tyre Shop
'Invite us to your next blow-out.'
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On an Electrician's Van:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
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In a Non-smoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
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On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'
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At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
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On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'
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At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
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In a Vet's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!  Stay!
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In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'
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RADIATOR SHOP:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
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Outside a Car Exhaust Centre:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
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[Katie77]

Great Zander......very clever.

Glad to see you contributing....keep em coming....

[Katie77]

A man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't prescribe him a double dose. "Why not?" asked the man. "Because it's not safe," replied the doctor.
"But I need it really bad," said the man. "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday.  Can't you see? I must have a double
dose." The doctor finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there were any side effects." On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling.  The doctor asked, "What happened to you?" The man said, "No one showed up...."

[Katie77]

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

10 Finkers

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.
 
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."
 
Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."
 
"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2009 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"
 
Ole says........"How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?
 

[Katie77]

Little Johnny's neighbours' had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family
was invited over to see the baby.

Before leaving their house, little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and
explained that the baby had no ears. He also told him that if he so much as
mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word
"ears," he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When they got there,
and little Johnny looked in the crib, he said, "What a beautiful baby." The
mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful
little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really
beautiful eyes. Can he see?" asked little Johnny. "Yes," the mother replied,
"we are so thankful.  The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "Thatâ?Ts great," said little Johnny, "cuz he'd be sh__ outta luck if he needed glasses."
..