Cellar Scribblings

[Jeff Wrangler]

How so? Don't you get vacation time at your job? Or do you mean we're lucky to get a scheduled staycation vs. an indefinite length of "staycation"? In which case, yes, we're fortunate that we have jobs to take staycations from!

I mean you're fortunate not to be in the situation I am with my father. I have "time when I'm not working," but for the foreseeable future I have no such thing as a vacation or a staycation. (He's now started asking me, "When are you coming home?" He never used to do that.)

(I know Chucks parents are older, but at least he's geographically close to them.)

[serious crayons]

I mean you're fortunate not to be in the situation I am with my father. I have "time when I'm not working," but for the foreseeable future I have no such thing as a vacation or a staycation.

I'm still not sure I totally understand the distinction. My staycation was basically time when I wasn't working. Except I was catching up on chores and doing some "hobby writing" (creative but rarely remunerative creative nonfiction). I made some actual progress and tried to spend some time each day just relaxing, but I had to keep reminding myself not to feel guilty about it.

But maybe you just mean I could relax, in a way, without worrying that at any moment I might have to leap into action to care for a parent. That much is true, although I've done some of that in the distant past.

[Jeff Wrangler]

But maybe you just mean I could relax, in a way, without worrying that at any moment I might have to leap into action to care for a parent. That much is true, although I've done some of that in the distant past.

That's more or less what I meant. You had time to do things that you wanted to do. It's not even having to leap into action at any time. Even just visiting him is not a vacation. It's become stressful in itself. God forgive me.

[CellarDweller]

That's more or less what I meant. You had time to do things that you wanted to do. It's not even having to leap into action at any time. Even just visiting him is not a vacation. It's become stressful in itself. God forgive me.

There is no reason you need to be forgiven.

I'm not an only child, and both of my parents are in good health.   That being said, my mother is an only child, and I saw first hand what she went through with both of her parents, and the fact that she lived three and 1/2 hours away from them, on top of that, mom didn't drive.

when her mom was in the Alzheimer's facility, mom was always stressed about calls from them.  Did gram fall?  Did she have an episode and hit someone?  Did someone have an episode and hit her?  Was she comfortable?

When gram passed, my mother was there in the room and had her chance to say good bye.  The next morning, she told me that she felt guilty saying it, but it was the first night that she had a good night sleep in a long time.  I told  her there was nothing to feel guilty about, it just meant she no longer had to exhaust herself with worry.

Taking care of anyone is mentally and physically draining.

[Jeff Wrangler]

There is no reason you need to be forgiven.

I'm not an only child, and both of my parents are in good health.   That being said, my mother is an only child, and I saw first hand what she went through with both of her parents, and the fact that she lived three and 1/2 hours away from them, on top of that, mom didn't drive.

when her mom was in the Alzheimer's facility, mom was always stressed about calls from them.  Did gram fall?  Did she have an episode and hit someone?  Did someone have an episode and hit her?  Was she comfortable?

When gram passed, my mother was there in the room and had her chance to say good bye.  The next morning, she told me that she felt guilty saying it, but it was the first night that she had a good night sleep in a long time.  I told  her there was nothing to feel guilty about, it just meant she no longer had to exhaust herself with worry.

Taking care of anyone is mentally and physically draining.

Thanks for that, Chuck.

[serious crayons]

That's more or less what I meant. You had time to do things that you wanted to do. It's not even having to leap into action at any time. Even just visiting him is not a vacation. It's become stressful in itself. God forgive me.

My mom died in 2008 after living with Alzheimer's for about 10 years. By then she had moved to an assisted living in Denver, because my family had moved to Chicago in 2006. But in the years before that, when we all lived in Minneapolis, I did a lot of caregiving. I also had two small children -- the classic sandwich generation situation.

My dad died in 1996 of a brain tumor. I found out about it when my younger son was two weeks old, my older son 18 months. I was living in New Orleans then and had to dash up to Minneapolis with a newborn. My dad was up and around at that point but the exploratory surgery left him with aphasia. He died on my younger son's three-month birthday.

I didn't do much actual caregiving for him because his wife, my stepmother, immediately retired and cared for him. But of course it was all very stressful.

So I know, it's hard. I feel for you. In the end you probably will feel some relief -- I certainly did with my mom. Don't feel guilty about it. In years after that, you'll be glad you were there for him.


 

[CellarDweller]

Hiya BetterMost friends!!!!

I hope that everyone is doing well!


I've been busy with work this past week, and now it will be bedtime in three hours, and then back to work again!

Had a late lunch today with my niece for her birthday.  Went out to a place that has a large outdoor area.  My niece had said that she enjoys coloring in her quiet time, apparently she finds it relaxing.  I got her a battery-powered pencil sharpener, some batteries, a set of colored pencils, and two coloring books for adults, with really intricate patterns inside.

Things have been status quo over here.   I can't remember if I said this, but we were told we won't be going back to the office until January 2021.  My company sent out a survey asking who would be willing to go back to the office.  I said that I was fine with going back in, but not util the new year.

I also found out that my bowling league won't be starting again until January, instead of September, and I'm fine with that.

[Jeff Wrangler]

I also found out that my bowling league won't be starting again until January, instead of September, and I'm fine with that.

No handling your balls in public till January?

 

[serious crayons]

My newspaper staff is working remotely until the end of the year, and I hope they continue beyond that. I've been working out of my home office for years anyway, and prefer it here. I haven't been back to my desk since March 14, and haven't really missed anything. Working from home is more relaxing and efficient. Saves about an hour of round-trip commuting, as well as $160/mo rental at my parking ramp.

Newspapers, of course, were already struggling. Now they're doing a little better, relatively speaking, but they'll still have long-term problems if advertisers don't recover. My newspaper moved a few years ago into three floors of a big fancy office tower. It was already bigger than the staff needed, and although it's brand new and has lots of windows it feels kind of artificial and bleak to me. I would think the newspaper could seize the opportunity to get out of its lease, if it can, and move to a smaller place. Ideally one of those cool renovated old warehouses.

[CellarDweller]

Hiya BetterMost friends!!!!

Hope you're all doing well today!

Grey and drizzling today, but since I've got no plans to go anywhere, I guess it doesn't matter.  LOL

Keeping busy with work, and tidying up around the apartment.  Easy to maintain when you don't leave.   I keep my work monitor turned to my personal desktop, and when it gets slow, I can jump on this machine, surf the 'net, catching up on various sites and FB.  Then, when emails pop up for work, I can dart back to the couch and address them.

Of ourse, even though i can access my FB from my own computer, I don't post there.  I've heard stories about people getting into trouble posting on FB while during work hours, so I'm not tempting fate.