I saw most of Brokeback Mountain on Logo last night. It was the first time I had seen it in a venue other than the theater or on DVD (or in once case VHS tape in Alberta). It was kind of unnerving.
I missed the beginning, tuned in when Jack and Ennis was moving their camp and allowed myself to be drown into the familiar story. And then came the first night in the tent. Jack unbuckled his belt and they cut away to the exterior shot and bam it was the next morning. It didn't feel right.
Plus there was the commercials, and in particular the ridiculously annoying Logo commercials every 15 minutes to remind me how far we have come from these two young men scared to death to even admit their attraction. I feel so blessed to live in a world were I can aspire to be on the A-List, not.
But still, in spite of these distractions, these tatters to this beautiful story, still, a bit of that old magic was still there. Even if it was only 5 years ago there was this sense of a simpler time, a memory of what it felt like when I watched the movie back then, and it felt like I was slipping on ice when a "fuck" or a "damn" was missing. I am healed of this pain now, I have no need of trying to disguise my scar.
It all gradually slips away, but we are luckier than most generations. I hope someone saw it last night for the first time, and felt like I did, and decides to wear the scar too.