My memories of Heath Ledger:
Out of the blue, a friend called me at my Chicago office today and said, “Go to TMZ. Brace yourself because this is bad.” I knew someone had died and of course my browser took forever to open the site. I was stunned.
After a short trip to the restroom and a chance to catch my breath, I looked out the window down to the now empty, snow-covered lot below at Washington and Franklin, where Heath had spent months on the set of The Dark Knight, which was only recently covered with trailers and fanfare.
Heath, whom I could periodically see from my window above when he would arrive at the set in the late afternoon, had been in close proximity to me many times during the Summer in preparation for the night shoots on our city streets. His call time was after 2:30PM. I remember watching him several times enter and exit what appeared to be the make-up trailer, curious as to why I had somehow decided not to pursue meeting him when a short time earlier I went to great lengths with no success. Now he was standing right beneath me, day after day, for months.
This thought struck me strange since as a journalist in the film business I had once flown to LA during Brokeback Oscar fever to meet him post-screening for a quick interview where he did not show up, canceling in the clinch to tend to Michelle and Matilda, both of whom were ill and he felt wrong leaving alone, even for just a few hours. I got over it, but it was a bit of a blow at the time!
Two years ago, I was nearly unable to separate Heath from Ennis, and only sometime later when I realized I could almost not watch Brokeback anymore because of the sense memories and emotions attached, did my fascination start to subside a bit after he went on to other roles and I came back to reality.
Today I regret not going downstairs and pursuing a meeting with the guy to explain to him just how much Ennis affected me. What I really wanted to say would have embarrassed me and there was likely no way to say it and remain a respected professional. Perhaps I was afraid. I’ve met many stars in this line of work but his achievement in Brokeback was monumental and meaningful, and one for the books. Indelible. Profound. Once in a lifetime.
Perhaps I just knew that such an encounter would have shattered my iconic illusions, that when standing face to face with him, the mythic and poetic character would dissipate before me. I would see that he was just a real person.
Today I was painfully reminded of this. But I will always have the myth, if not the man.
RT
Topic: Heath Ledger - the grieving thread (Read 728481 times)