Heath Ledger - the grieving thread

[serious crayons]

Although, there are those confusing folks out there (lots of them!) who really liked BBM, or even loved it, but aren't Brokies.  I still don't understand how that's possible. I mean why isn't everyone who loved BBM a member of BetterMost?  And, why don't they all think about and talk about BBM with other Brokies on a daily basis? 
 

The world is a bewildering place sometimes.

Indeed. I don't understand that, either. Why doesn't anyone who sees BBM -- anyone who is intelligent and sensitive and open-minded -- love it? And why doesn't anyone who loves it become a Brokie? It seems like such a natural progression, to me.

And yet, to flip it on its head, then what makes me a Brokie? I know this is the topic of at least a whole thread or more (one of which I started!  ) so I probably shouldn't go on about it here in such an OT way, but I don't get the reverse anymore than I get the other thing. I mean, I'm not particularly romantic, I'm not gay, I like lots of movies ... what makes this one so special?

It's such a strange phenomenon that frankly I feel a bit awkward when well-meaning friends DO offer me special condolences. I mean, why shouldn't they be mourning as much as I am? Or why am I mourning any more than they are?

Two years in, it remains a mystery.

 

[nakymaton]

Indeed. I don't understand that, either. Why doesn't anyone who sees BBM -- anyone who is intelligent and sensitive and open-minded -- love it? And why doesn't anyone who loves it become a Brokie? It seems like such a natural progression, to me.

I also found out via e-mails from two non-Brokie friends. One of them is the woman who recommended the short story to me, and who thinks the movie and story are both perfect as works of art. It makes her cry, but she isn't obsessed by it - she can accept it as nearly perfect, and move on.

But she recognizes that it resonates with me, and is respectful of my obsession.

[belbbmfan]

belbbmfan –

Since you wrote that it is good to hear you have good brokie husband too, I assume that you were referring to the fact that your husband, Dirk, is a good brokie husband.  That’s great!  I think I understood that when we were in Alberta – just the fact that Dirk was willing to plan your entire family’s summer vacation to Canada around the Alberta Pilgrimage say a lot!

((Pete))

You know, we were talking about this earlier. All the things that made our Canada trip so special that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a brokie...
The list was long, I tell you. The holiday we had could have been a very nice holiday where we did all kinds of things that the guide books recommended to us. But the pilgrimage made it so much more personal, you know? We would have visited the dinosaur museum in Drumheller, but visiting it with you is what made it special.

Part of the reason that I decided to watch my BBM DVD is that I was dreading it, too.  It really was very special to see the places we'd visited. I'm glad I watched it by myself.  I know the next time I see it I will also cry a lot and at different scenes than I did before Heath died, but at least I know that I can cry my way all the way through it and I have a bit more hope that I can survive watching it with other Brokies again (like in LA in August.)

I felt exactly the same. Almost afraid to loose BBM too, after losing Heath...

One more thing, speaking of husbands . . . and this is very hard for me to deal with and write.  I really think that the main thing that makes me cry when I watch the intimate and private scenes between Ennis and Jack and knowing how the story ends, is that I think of my partner of almost 30 years, David, and how devastated I would be if he dies before I do.  He has told me that he would be devastated if I died before he did, but I really have trouble admitting that I would feel the same way.  BBM reminds me of that.

 

Devastated, yes, but not having the immens regrets that Ennis had, alone in his trailer...

[MaineWriter]

Fabienne, this is so true. I spent 2 weeks in Norway and had a great time, but I did guidebook things. I spent a week in Belgium, Holland, and Germany with EuroBrokies friends, and I'll never forget a minute of that trip. Guess which one I would repeat?

L

[Kerry]

Gallery honouring Heath's career from the (Sydney) Daily Telegraph:

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/gallery/0,22056,5025684-5010141,00.html

[Kerry]

This gallery is presently appearing on the (Sydney) Daily Telegraph webpage under the heading "Heath Ledger's Supporters":

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/gallery/0,22056,5029344-5010141,00.html

[ptannen]

((Pete))

You know, we were talking about this earlier. All the things that made our Canada trip so special that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a brokie...
The list was long, I tell you. The holiday we had could have been a very nice holiday where we did all kinds of things that the guide books recommended to us. But the pilgrimage made it so much more personal, you know? We would have visited the dinosaur museum in Drumheller, but visiting it with you is what made it special.

Fabienne –

Yes, I agree totally!  I am someone who has traveled alone a lot and I usually do all the things that the guide books recommend, plus I seek out unusual things . . . but they are THINGS and not PEOPLE.  The dinosaur museum in Drumheller was so much more special, since I shared it with you and your family. 

After the Pilgrimage, I spent most of a day on my own at the 66 acre Calgary Heritage Park Historical Village (Canada's largest living historical village, with more than 150 buildings and 45,000 exhibits.)  Yes, I enjoyed it, but that experience seems like nothing, compared to standing on the shore of a small full-moonlit lake with about a dozen Brokie friends and singing songs . . . or sharing a potluck dinner in Canmore as our one and only High Priestess came down the stairs issuing proclamations! 

This is one of my changes I attribute to BBM – seeking out and valuing friendships and personal relationships.  Two years ago I would not have expected that I would be writing anything like this response – and to a good friend in Belgium, yet!     

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote from: ptannen on Yesterday at 09:59:25 PM
One more thing, speaking of husbands . . . and this is very hard for me to deal with and write.  I really think that the main thing that makes me cry when I watch the intimate and private scenes between Ennis and Jack and knowing how the story ends, is that I think of my partner of almost 30 years, David, and how devastated I would be if he dies before I do.  He has told me that he would be devastated if I died before he did, but I really have trouble admitting that I would feel the same way.  BBM reminds me of that.
 

Devastated, yes, but not having the immense regrets that Ennis had, alone in his trailer...

Very true, indeed!  I am so grateful for all the years we have had together.  I hope there will be many more, but I will always have those 30 years. 

Pete

[Kerry]

As reported in Monday's Sydney Morning Herald, Heath is to be buried at Karrakatta Cemetery:

http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/OurCemeteries/Karrakatta.html

[Kerry]

This is the PDF brochure for Karrakatta Cemetery. You will need Adobe (free) to view. It looks very pretty. 

http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/OurCemeteries/Karrakatta/Karrakatta_brochure.pdf

[Meryl]

As reported in Monday's Sydney Morning Herald, Heath is to be buried at Karrakatta Cemetery:

http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/OurCemeteries/Karrakatta.html

Thanks for those links, Kerry.