Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%  (Read 1302070 times)

Offline alec716

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(( TERRY CLOTH's yodeling has succeeded only in giving him a sore throat and not in securing his freedom.  Not hearing the the approach of tiny, delicate, prancing footsteps of LSP HORSE, er, HIGH PRIESTESS, TERRY CLOTH racks his brain to find another path to liberation ... or libation, or whatever works around here.  ))

** Alright, trying to enlist the aid of the HIGH PRIESTESS has not worked yet... she must be offset having like facelift number 9... I mean shopping for Chanel No. 9... what else can I try to get out of this locker??!  **


(( TERRY CLOTH remembers the looks of someone he shouldnt'a let out a his sights.  ))




TERRY CLOTH: 

** Hey, JBB, any chance that after you roll around in the grass and get rid of the sheep poop, you can slide over here and use the flat end of your tube like a credit card and pick this lock?  **


« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 07:32:44 pm by alec716 »
"... he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream."

Offline saucycobblers

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((JBB rolls closer to the camp... inch by painful inch.))

**Sonofabitch. Not bin on set more'n a day an' already bin manhandled to within an inch o' my life. Lost at least 4 fl.oz. o' the good stuff when a goddamn sheep stepped on me. Hellfire... why ain't Ms Indapaddock keepin' control a her animals? Goddammit... *grumble, grumble*...

Hang in there Terry. I a-comin' Friend.

I say, what happened to my accent? Less than a day on this set an' I'm talkin' laike a dang young pup at the rodeo! Remember Sir Larry!...**


((Inches forward, trailing precious cream like guts in his wake...))
« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 07:51:09 pm by saucycobblers »
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline alec716

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(( TERRY CLOTH continues to strategize about his necessary elopement from the Sacred Relic Recycling Can.  He does not mean to usurp the stage for too long, and does not want this moment of fame to be a one-shot thing goin' on here, but the set seems quiet now -- at least one sheep has his or her mouth full -- and the great weight of the Thread has rolled down on him.  So TERRY CLOTH continues to reflect upon FSD's kind words...))


(( FSD puts arm around Terry's shoulder drawing him close.  She whispers loudly to Terry Cloth ))

"Terry - there are many ways to approach a problem.  If one key doesn't work in a particular lock, say in the Sacred Relics room, then don't forget to consider other ways to approach the same problem.  Everything is just energy - whatever form it appears in, it is just energy, and if you learn the laws of energy, you can do anything.  Between every particle of energy, including matter, are spaces, and once you understand how to enter into those spaces..." 

**  Rest of FSD's conversation with Terry Cloth takes place in hushed whispers that cannot be heard,  **



(( TERRY CLOTH belatedly realizes that, since FSD has her arm around him, she is in the Sacred Relic Room with him.   Duh.  ))  

TERRY CLOTH:

** Hey, FSD, since you are right here next to me, and, unlike me, you have actual arms, why won't you just finish the job and let me outta here?  **
« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 08:02:39 pm by alec716 »
"... he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream."

Offline alec716

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(( TERRY CLOTH receives no response, no action, nothing, from FSD.  He looks around him and realizes that she is gone.  ))

%%  Great moment SHE picks to go looking for that piney cowboy thingie in the compost heap.  %%

(( TERRY CLOTH is alone with his thoughts and the other suddenly-mute Sacred Relics.  ))

%%  Saddles, bridles, hoof-picks, tacky blonde wigs, hacked-up turkey carcasses, and bottles a Eau de Cat Piss in here, and no one will help me... might as well keep thinkin' about what FSD said... %%



"Terry - ... there are many ways to approach a problem.  If one key doesn't work in a particular lock, say in the Sacred Relics room, then don't forget to consider other ways to approach the same problem.  Everything is just energy - whatever form it appears in, it is just energy, and if you learn the laws of energy, you can do anything.  Between every particle of energy, including matter, are spaces, and once you understand how to enter into those spaces..." 


(( TERRY CLOTH perceives himself to be powerless and feels the flush of frustration color his newly-bleached cheeks as he remains trapped in some open space between where he is and where he is trying to be.  ))

%%  Spaces, spaces, how can I enter 'em?  I can't stand this, gotta fix it...  %%

(( TERRY CLOTH looks around the dim Sacred Relic Room again.  ))

HEY HOOF PICK!!!  Did you get cast?  If someone is playing you, can YOU get me outta here?  

(( Silence.  ))
« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 08:41:19 pm by alec716 »
"... he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream."

Offline saucycobblers

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((JBB rolls painfully on... still grumbling))

** I mean, really, the professional standards I've encountered thus far are perfectly shocking. That Raymille fellow obviously can't organise his way out of a paper bag. Humph... a tube of my calibre and breeding really shouldn't have to... Oww!!**

((JBB looks up and sees...))



** Wow! This must be where the Sacred Relic Room is...**

((Suddenly feels very scared))

**Terry?? TERRY???**
« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 08:28:57 pm by saucycobblers »
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline alec716

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TERRY CLOTH:

HEY, JBB!!! IN HERE, I'M IN HERE!!!  Just slide your flat end in the open space between what is the edge of the door and what is the frame ... and pick the lock!


((JBB looks up and sees...))





TERRY CLOTH:

** Sky don't look right.  Rehearsal must a got out a control.  It appears that JBB might not be needed in the tent and that I might be too late...   ;)  **

« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 11:39:48 pm by alec716 »
"... he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream."

Offline saucycobblers

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((JBB finds door unlocked))

** Hmmm? This ain't right... **

((Gingerly enters a dark and eerie space with the smell of Hell))

** Oh Lordy... ummm... Terry?... Mummy??... Ooooo... Who are...?... Ahhhhhhhhhhh......... **

((Door closes))

((An eerie silence ensues...))
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline alec716

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((JBB finds door unlocked))

((Gingerly enters a dark and eerie space with the smell of Hell))


TERRY CLOTH:

** Darn it all, JBB, it smells like Hell in here because you knocked over a bottle of Eau de Cat Piss.  FSD is gonna have to burn a heck of lot of incense to cover that up.  But don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see ya!  Thanks for red-lining it here.  Now open that door again and let's get outta here!!  **
« Last Edit: July 02, 2006, 08:52:34 pm by alec716 »
"... he is suffused with a sense of pleasure because Jack Twist was in his dream."

Offline saucycobblers

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((JBB recovers decorum and stops crying))

%% How embarrassing. I hope he didn't notice me crying like a big girl's blouse %%

** Ahem. Err.. Terry, delighted to meet you at last. Stubbed my cap on the way in, you understand... er, brought tears to my eyes. Ha ha!... ummmm... **

((looks at door))

** ...did you realise it was unlocked, Terry? Must've been this sheep turd wedged in the door frame was keepin' it closed. **

((Pushes cap against door, but it doesn't budge))

** Oh... **
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline Lumière

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**
I need some assistance here!
I have a pregnant ewe here who is about to go into labour ...



I need some clean towels ... Could I get some towels from the Relic Room please??
Anybody??
**


%%
If the dumbass Rag and Cream pair who've locked themselves up in the Relic Room got any sense in their heads, they'll escape when that door is opened...
%%