%%I cannot believe all this turmoil, pooping owls (I swear that bird has it in for me) chanting fanatics burning incense and desperados kidnapping actors for AUCTION! It's enough to give a girl a case of the vapors.....

Uhmm so everyone meet Rusty....my new bodyguard...

he will be guarding my precious alabaster body, constantly, day and
night until that villian E-Bay Trader is brought to justice%%