~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[YaadPyar]

**  FSD is just returning from Guilin, China for a spiritual sabbatical and Feng Shui conference.  There seem to be no cowboys in Guilin.  So FSD has returned here.  Oddly, there seem to be no cowboys here either.  **

[Ray]

((Looks Left))

((Looks Right))

%% HMMmm %%

= GIT YER LAZY ARSES ON THIS SET YOU ACTORS! =

%% Farkeen Actors!  %%

[Ellemeno]

** Mr. Raymille, Sir, where are we in the production?  I'm your lovely assistant, and I don't know where we're headed next, I imagine some others are also unsure.  Help! **

[DeeDee]

** Will someone please tell me what direction we are going in?  I am not going to tolerate standing around all day.  We have Jack's replacement on standby and I cannot keep washing forever, (no offense Terry).  Now until I am told what scene we are up to, I will be in my trailer, because now I have a headache.  This is no way to treat a STAR!!**

[Lumière]

** Will someone please tell me what direction we are going in?  I am not going to tolerate standing around all day.  We have Jack's replacement on standby and I cannot keep washing forever, (no offense Terry).  Now until I am told what scene we are up to, I will be in my trailer, because now I have a headache.  This is no way to treat a STAR!!**

(( Ennis storms off into his trailer ...slams the door.
And what does he do next?  Jumps into the shower ....



))

%%
I don't understand actors!  He complains about warshing over and over for hours ...
and then gets back to his trailer and jumps into the shower!?!   
The Boss is right ... Actors!!! 
%%

[alec716]

((Looks Left))

((Looks Right))

%% HMMmm %%

= GIT YER LAZY ARSES ON THIS SET YOU ACTORS! =

%% Farkeen Actors!  %%

TERRY CLOTH:

** Sorry, Mr. Raymille, I was meeting with the Prosecutor about this weeks' unfortunate events and our Quest for Justice.  **

HEY ENNIS!!! DON'T GET OUT OF THE SHOWER YET... HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!

(( TERRY CLOTH smirks, knowing that, yet again, at least half the known world is jealous of his goobly proximity to ENNIS. ))

%% YEEHAW!! %%

[Meryl]

((The High Priestess arrives on set, determined to take action))

**Where is that recalcitrant piece of linen?!**

((Directed to Heath's trailer, the HP enters without knocking and finds Mr. Terry Cloth and the star in close communion))

**Excuse me, Heath darling, but I must ask that you conclude your interview with Mr. Cloth immediately.  His presence is required in the Sacred Relic Room.  A delegation from the World Linen Conference is waiting to discuss his appearance as a Surprise Celebrity Guest at their convention in Zurich this weekend.  There is not a moment to lose!**

((Heath places the reluctant TC in the manicured hand of the HP, who places him securely in his plastic bag and whisks him away, not without an appreciative backward glance at the gleaming form of Mr. Ledger, who retires to complete his ablutions.))

[Meryl]

((Before returning to base camp and the WLC delegation, the High Priestess has words with Miss Anke Spanky))

**I am looking to you to have more control over the Sacred Relics in future.  That E-Gay episode was just as I feared.  The next important Relic to appear is JACK'S FLATTENED HARMONICA.  See that you guard him well!!**

%% I'm surrounded by incompetents the efficiency-challenged...%%

 

[DeeDee]

Young Ennis:

((Ennis wipes himself down and puts his clothes on, trying not too look at Jack, but cannot help himself))

Hey bud, ya gonna peel tha' potato all day or ya gonna cook somethin'? I'm real horn..uh hungry after that long bath.

%% Ok, I'm jes gonna go fer it...deep breath..%%

Mebbe after we eat, we can share us a whiskey 'fore I go to tha sheep

[alec716]

**Where is that recalcitrant piece of linen?!**

((Directed to Heath's trailer, the HP enters without knocking and finds Mr. Terry Cloth and the star in close communion))

**Excuse me, Heath darling, but I must ask that you conclude your interview with Mr. Cloth immediately.  His presence is required in the Sacred Relic Room.  A delegation from the World Linen Conference is waiting to discuss his appearance as a Surprise Celebrity Guest at their convention in Zurich this weekend.  There is not a moment to lose!**

((Heath places the reluctant TC in the manicured hand of the HP, who places him securely in his plastic bag and whisks him away, not without an appreciative backward glance at the gleaming form of Mr. Ledger, who retires to complete his ablutions.))

TERRY CLOTH: 

HEY WAIT, Lady, wait, get offa me ... we wasn't hardly... he ain't all abluted yet...

** Oh well, here I am, losin' control a my destiny again.  Not so sure I believe this Zurich story.  Am I gettin' re-sanctifated or relicized or sumpin'?  **

(( PLASTIC BAG muffles remaining muttering emanating from TERRY CLOTH.  SHEEP, CAST, and CREW applaud his silencing.     ))