Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%  (Read 1681785 times)

Offline welliwont

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phew.. missed out in 10 pages and not missed tent scene one yet! woohoo!!

Hostile Member of the Audience:

**Git lost Lureen!  Yur not on yet!!!!  Yur at least two years too early, yur not in yur costume, cain't ya see that the Per-formance is playin? ???  This ain't the rehersal tha knows!!!**


Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline welliwont

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Another Intoxicated Buffoon From the Audience:

**Waddya mean Lureen??  That washen' Lureen!!!  Wassa matta with yer eyes man, that sweet lil gal was Lashawn , uhmm...  I mean Cassie!!  Yea,  thas who it was, it was Cassie!**



« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 06:57:52 pm by JakeTwist »
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline saucycobblers

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JBB:

**Sheeeeeeee-it!!!! Who the hell is that?**

((JBB shuffles into undergrowth))

**If that old witch gets a holda me ain't no knowin' where she'll end up spreadin' me!! Better get me a disguise!**

((Shuffling, grunting and much lid snapping behind bush... JBB emerges as...))



** She'll never recognise me now!!**

** But where's my man Terry? She might be using him to warsh her unmentionables!! TERRY!!!!**

((Calls into the echoey silence...))

**TEEEEEEEEEERRY!!!!**
« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 06:59:41 pm by saucycobblers »
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline Lumière

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%%
This is some hi-class entertainment here if you ask me!  :laugh:
...NOT!  >:(

Hmm ... I think I need me some of that Bottom Soothing lotion because I been waiting here on my behind all day, waiting to see some Tent Scene action ...!  And what do I get?  ZILCH! ZERO!  NADA!   ::)

Now where did I see that Arse Bottom Soothing cream lying around ?...

%%




Offline saucycobblers

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%%
Now where did I see that Arse Bottom Soothing cream lying around ?...
%%




((JBB tries to wriggle out of Lucise Indapaddock's grip))

** Well really! Ms Indapaddock, you might have washed your hands first... seein' as you've been birthin' them stupid sheep all day! Gerroff!! Gerroff!!!**
Will you stop playing with that radio of yours, I'm trying to get to sleep!

Offline Lumière

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((JBB tries to wriggle out of Lucise Indapaddock's grip))

** Well really! Ms Indapaddock, you might have washed your hands first... seein' as you've been birthin' them stupid sheep all day! Gerroff!! Gerroff!!!**


**  Well JBB, Indapaddock is a Mister!  As you are about to discover ...
Sit STILL!   I only want a little bit to sooth my aching butt muscles ... >:(
And I think the state of my hands should be the least of yer worries right now ...
Stay still!!
**


((Indapaddock wrestles with Bottom Lotion ...))




Offline Mikaela

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Mika, the musical dumbass mule:


((Is moving slowly back and forth, back and forth in the field near the tent, swishing tail and showing every sign of antsy anticipation.))


=Would be biting fingernails if hooves weren't only option.=


((Starts humming, then singing; - soft, slow and mulish:))


~~Tonight, tonight,
Won't be just any night,
Tonight our cowboys sure will see stars.
Tonight, tonight,
no little thing tonight
And when this night ends,
they’ll have come far.

Today
Old Brokeback seems to tremble,
The wind whispers of passion,
And still the sky is light . . .

Oh moon, grow bright,
And shine on tent scene one - soon - this night!~~
« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 07:57:48 pm by Mikaela »

Offline Sashca1007

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CIGAR BUTT -

((Shuffles a little closer to that dumbass mule))

%% Well, what's this?  That dumbass mule is singin' again...  and it sure is pretty.  I thought that mule'd still be mad at me for spookin' when we saw that bear.  My man Ennis was madder'n a old wet hen when those dumbasses flung all the food supplies everywhere...  he was cussin' and growlin' worse than that bear, all the way back to camp.  No more of his sweet hummin' that was so nice, just like dumbass's singing over here.  Hm-m-mmm.....   NO!  My Momma told me never to step over the line into donkeyland or muleville.  She said it just wasn't right, and to stick with my own kind.  I loved my Momma, but sometimes a horse's gotta do what a....   and that damned Low Startle Point Horse (Yee-haw!) has been too busy twirling and stomping and.......   not giving me the time of day.   So....        did I say Yee Haw?!!  I meant HEE HAW!!!  %%   ;D
"From the vibration of the floorboard on which they both stood Ennis could feel how hard Jack was shaking."

Offline Mikaela

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Mika:


((Inches closer to Cigar Butt, while continuing to hum softly and hypnotically.))


**He's so good-looking! And dependable. Solid. Bet he thinks I'm mad about that bear incident.... Well, if he does then he's the dumbass! If he hadn't a spooked then, I would have had a *make* him spook!  Ennis was humming so nicely while riding along, true - but not to Jack!  Ennis and Jack were getting nowhere - we had to help push them along, get them to worryting over each other, helping each other out, caring for each other. Nothing like a little fear and some bleeding to break the ice. Cigar Butt did good. Perhaps I should tell him?**


((Bats eyelashes pensively, nickers softly))

 
**He probably thinks I'm below him. ((Sighs sadly)) Thinks he'll hafta stick to his own kind.  Too bad.... I'd give him more than the time of day, if he'd ever dare to look my way!**
« Last Edit: July 04, 2006, 08:44:52 pm by Mikaela »

Offline DeeDee

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YOUNG JACK

((After several attempts to blow the harmonica, looks up at Ennis))

I know. It just don't wanna make any sound at all.

((looks in the harmonica to see if anything is clogged in it.))

%% Oh, that's right, dumb mare threw me. %%

Maybe it got damaged when that mare threw me.... Err, I mean when she slipped on that banana peel.



YOUNG ENNIS:

(( Nervously walking around the tent trying not to look at Jack in such a compromising position.))

Banana peel?  You wan' me to believe that?  That mare, she threw ya, I bet.  You bein' all sure she wouldn'.

%%She probably gettin all excited with them tight thighs on either side of her, and that smooth butt ridin' her all the time...hell I would have bucked him ma'self%%
In America sex is an obsession.  In other parts of the world it is a fact.

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