Author Topic: Christian Domestic Discipline  (Read 75104 times)

Offline milomorris

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2011, 05:46:21 pm »
BDSM-plays generally also stay in the bedroom.

I've met BDSM couples of mixed, and same gender. The dominant partner is dominant outside the bedroom too. He or she is the "boss" at all times.

  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

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Offline Monika

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2011, 05:54:28 pm »
I've met BDSM couples of mixed, and same gender. The dominant partner is dominant outside the bedroom too. He or she is the "boss" at all times.


Not true in my experience. There are also couples that switch roles from time to time.

But this thread is not about BDSM, letīs get back on topic, shall we?



Offline milomorris

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2011, 06:03:25 pm »
Not true in my experience. There are also couples that switch roles from time to time.

But this thread is not about BDSM, letīs get back on topic, shall we?




Fine. There are women of different faiths who LIKE the idea of their husbands being in charge, making the decisions, etc. And that CAN include beating them. I know that there are some orthodox jews, and muslims who live like that. So this is not particular to Fundamentalist Christians.

They're happy, and they're not hurting anyone around them. Isn't that the lifestyle litmus-test around these parts?
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Online serious crayons

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2011, 06:34:41 pm »
Not true in my experience. There are also couples that switch roles from time to time.

But this thread is not about BDSM, letīs get back on topic, shall we?

But the thread IS about BDSM, at least in part. That's not off topic.

I think that -- to some extent, at least in some cases -- Christian Domestic Discipline is a form of BDSM that both spouses find acceptable or even appealing and that passes muster in the Christian community because it is practiced under the guise of religious ideology rather than a sexuality they, given their faith, would have to profess to find "deviant."

And I agree with Milo that many couples do not switch back and forth.

In other words, if women in these marriages are being unwillingly subjected to domestic physical abuse, then I am as upset about it as I would in any other domestic abuse situation, Christian or otherwise. And that may indeed be the case in some of these marriages. My point is, I think that often this is something else entirely.





 

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2011, 06:37:31 pm »
It was a thumb. Thus, the "rule of thumb."

That's what it was! Thanks, Katharine!  ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2011, 08:10:47 pm »
Fine. There are women of different faiths who LIKE the idea of their husbands being in charge, making the decisions, etc. And that CAN include beating them. I know that there are some orthodox jews, and muslims who live like that. So this is not particular to Fundamentalist Christians.

They're happy, and they're not hurting anyone around them. Isn't that the lifestyle litmus-test around these parts?

I would only consider their desire to have a marriage like that perfectly acceptable if the women had been raised knowing they had other options.  But few of them are.  They were raised to be dependent and to think they're nothing without a man and that that is the way Jesus and god wants it...otherwise they'll burn in hell.

That's hardly a sound upbringing and basis for free-will or healthy choices or a healthy attitude about sexuality and marriage.

Not from the Christian's POV. This is love, and the woman does indeed consent to live this way. Marriages among Fundamentalists are like this. They don't all beat their wives, but almost ALL of them have a dominant husband/submissive wife component. They believe that's how God intended things to be.

Until of course, the dissonance becomes too much and then BLAM!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Winkler

Offline milomorris

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2011, 10:26:15 pm »
That's hardly a sound upbringing and basis for free-will or healthy choices or a healthy attitude about sexuality and marriage.

"Sound" and "healthy" are highly subjective, and not ours to determine for others. Remember that--in the minds of many people in MANY religious groups--nothing...absolutely NOTHING is as important as having a successful afterlife. And in  order to get there, they are willing to follow the doctrines of their religious leaders to the letter.

So for these women, "sound" and "healthy" mean submitting to their husbands. They would look at most of the women here and say that y'all are neither "sound" nor "healthy," but rather on a course for certain, ultimate death. Which is also highly subjective, and not theirs to determine for you.
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Online serious crayons

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2011, 08:10:44 am »
They would look at most of the women here and say that y'all are neither "sound" nor "healthy," but rather on a course for certain, ultimate death. Which is also highly subjective, and not theirs to determine for you.

Good point.

Also, I have to wonder how many Western women are raised in THAT extreme of an environment these days. Fifty years ago, sure. Nowadays, for an American woman to have grown up with no exposure to other, more secular, viewpoints would mean really unusual isolation -- not just homeschooling but no TV, no computer, etc. Even if their parents hold those views, most women would be familiar with the idea that other people hold other views and as adults they can make their own choices. Many children of religiously conservative parents DO, in fact, go on to make different choices. Even the children of immigrants whose parents hold strict traditionalist views and expect their children to follow them go in different directions once they're old enough to do so.

Among fundamentalist Christians, this sort of cultural isolation would be extremely unusual (outside of, say, the Amish community). Most of the people in those huge evangelistic churches, for example, are reasonably sophisticated about the culture around them. Look at Michele Bachmann, for example.

I once read an interview (in "Bitch" or "Bust" -- can't remember which) with women in domestic discipline marriages. They were quite aware of the other options, but felt like this was right for them. But again, there was something in the interviews that suggested they found it appealing.


Offline milomorris

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2011, 08:31:52 am »
Nowadays, for an American woman to have grown up with no exposure to other, more secular, viewpoints would mean really unusual isolation -- not just homeschooling but no TV, no computer, etc. Even if their parents hold those views, most women would be familiar with the idea that other people hold other views and as adults they can make their own choices.

Absolutely. The kind of life we're talking about here is their choice.
  The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: Christian Domestic Discipline
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2011, 09:06:22 am »
I once read an interview (in "Bitch" or "Bust" -- can't remember which) with women in domestic discipline marriages. They were quite aware of the other options, but felt like this was right for them. But again, there was something in the interviews that suggested they found it appealing.

I suppose it's beyond the scope of this thread, but this outlook isn't necessarily limited to women, either. I hear tell  ::)  that there are some straight men who are perfectly happy being the submissive partner in a marriage, and I know there are some gay men who are perfectly content to be "slaves" to other men--not just in the bedroom but in their ordinary daily lives, too. I'm sure in both situations, the submissives are quite aware of other options.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.