Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

Top Ten  Country Western Songs.
10. I  Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
   9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A  Few
   8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's  Me
   7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's  Improvin'
   6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd  Win
   5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still  Here
   4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss  Him
   3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the  Finger
   2. She's Lookin' Better with Every  Beer
And the Number One  Country   & Western  song is...
   1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day  Long

[Kerry]

Peter Jensen, the Anglican Archbishop of Sydney, has been preaching his hate-filled, homophobic message in the media again. Rather than stew over his venomous pronouncements and get myself all tied in a knot inside, I find it's therapeutic to draw a cartoon instead. It  depletes my anger and makes me feel better.

Whilst researching my most recent cartoons, I came across something at Wikipedia that makes His Grace even more ingracious than previously thought. Apparently nepotism is a favoured practice of his, in that he provided jobs for his wife and his brother, post-consecration.

And he has the hide to criticise my  morals! 

(Sources: Left: "Compass" ABCTV 18.10.09 / Right: Wikipedia)

[Kerry]

Yep, he really did say it. They were his exact words on the ABCTV "Compass" program on Oct 18. He was moaning on and on and on, playing the misunderstood martyr card. And I'd venture to say that a lot of people viewing the program would have indeed failed to understand how a so-called man of God could be such a hate-filled bigot.

[Kerry]

Sources:
Left - "Compass" ABCTV Oct 18
Right - "Pride goeth before destruction and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18 (KJV)

[Zander]

FACT:         79,000,000 people are engaged in sex right now

FACT:         58,000,000 people are kissing

FACT:          37,000,000 people are relaxing after having sex

FACT:          1 old timer is sitting reading jokes

                    You hang in there. SUNSHINE

[Kerry]

FACT:         79,000,000 people are engaged in sex right now

FACT:         58,000,000 people are kissing

FACT:          37,000,000 people are relaxing after having sex

FACT:          1 old timer is sitting reading jokes

                    You hang in there. SUNSHINE

               

[Zander]

 

John was a salesman's dream when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was
a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30pm that
afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late..
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?"
asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said
Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him
completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really
were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy..
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments. " answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him
off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied.
We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to
my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked
him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever
ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

[Kerry]

This will the last 3 of my own cartoons for now. Did I hear someone yell Yee-Haw?      

I'm sorry to bore my American friends with cartoons dealing with subject matter they are unfamiliar with. Or, at least, with people they are unfamiliar with. Fact is, though, that Archbishop Peter Jensen and Archbishop Peter Akinola are pretty much central casting match-ups for the likes of Jerry Falwell (in the case of Peter Jensen) and Fred Phelps of  Westboro Baptist Church (in the case of Peter Akinola). How they can have the temerity to call themselves men of God, I'll never know. 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

There was a documentary on ABCTV (Australia) last night called "The Battle of the Bishops" (BBC I think?) dealing with the threatened schism in the Anglican Church, which is being led by Nigeria's Archbishop Peter Akinola. It was a very scary documentary. Or should I say, Akinola is a very scary man. If he wasn't so dangerous and powerful, I would call him a nutter. But he's too cunning to be a nutter. He has a very manic, hyperactive manner, and is obsessed with homosexuality. Or rather, he is obsessed with the hatred of homosexuals. The program stated that one quarter of the world's Anglicans live in Nigeria, meaning Akinola has a huge clout within the Anglican Communion. Watching him last night, I was reminded of Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church. Same level of hate. Same manic obsession with and hatred of all things gay.  I've used these captions in previous cartoons. They are appropriate for Akinola.