Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Penthesilea]

Good one!

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Yet another optical illusion . . . . .

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Subject: FW: Why men should write advice columns




Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was made redundant six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

_________________________

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

John

[Katie77]

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
 
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
   

 



 

[Katie77]

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me,
give
me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'.

He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse
but
you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful',
Now who's laughing'

[Kerry]

[Kerry]